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Classic lines from your interviews?

Homewright | Posted in General Discussion on January 23, 2005 01:44am

I have a few things I tend to repeat when interviewing with homeowners.  Stuff like, “I’m kind of like a doctor.  I have to make you feel bad before I can make you feel good.”  “How’s your marriage?” at the point of explaining the realities of living with a remodel going on.  “You get what you pay for” when not leading them to believe I’ll be the lowest bidder.  Each depends (of course) upon my dynamic with the homeowner and their receptiveness during the intial meeting but I’ve noticed I use these whenever the situation warrants.

What are some of the things the rest of you have come up with through the years in dealing with homeowners?

 

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  1. VaTom | Jan 23, 2005 02:32am | #1

    "I'm not expensive, but I make things that are" (followed by an explanation).

    PAHS Designer/Builder- Bury it!

    1. StanFoster | Jan 23, 2005 02:36am | #2

      I have been asked several times....."You seem to act like you enjoy your work.  My reply......"Its not an act"  

       

      The ones that have asked me that question wer blind sided with my response....and they like it.

       

      Stan

      1. alias | Jan 23, 2005 03:20am | #3

        when asked how much it going to cost after being on the job for fifteen minutes ..... "at this time , it's like buying some used car with a sheet over it. i'll need more time ,and compensation for my efforts . which is refundable if my bid is accepted.""expectations are premeditated resentments"Edited 1/22/2005 7:21 pm ET by the bear

        Edited 1/22/2005 7:22 pm ET by the bear

        1. User avater
          Homewright | Jan 23, 2005 05:07am | #5

          Another one when narrowing down the level of quality they want is, "if quality were a distance, do you want to go to the next town or somewhere in Alaska?  There's a lot of country in between..."

          1. DavidThomas | Jan 24, 2005 04:15am | #24

            "if quality were a distance, do you want to go to the next town or somewhere in Alaska?"Is that why so much crap gets built up here?David Thomas   Overlooking Cook Inlet in Kenai, Alaska

  2. McFish | Jan 23, 2005 03:48am | #4

    "When I do show up,  I'm usually sober!"

  3. alwaysoverbudget | Jan 23, 2005 05:28am | #6

    this hasn't got anything to do with housing, but use to do bodywork and painting. use to do resto and a little show work. my question was ,do you want it to look good going down the street in the dark,look good parked in daylight, or are you going to show it? people would get the funniest look on there face. i would then explain how #1 might cost 1,000,#2 would cost 3,000 #3 was time and material you let me know when you are out of money because there is no limint on how far we can go. 

    hand me the chainsaw, i need to trim the casing just a hair.

  4. MSA1 | Jan 23, 2005 07:15am | #7

    "I cant speak about my competetions quality but I can assure you of mine."

    I'm currently bidding against a guy whose first line was "I dont pull permits", his next comment (when discussing a basement sleeping room) "You dont need an egress window".

    1. User avater
      Homewright | Jan 23, 2005 02:37pm | #9

      He likely wonders what a spindly legged bird and construction have to do with one another...

      1. User avater
        Sphere | Jan 23, 2005 05:18pm | #10

        " ya have time, quality, and price...pick two, I keep the other one" 

        Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks

        Every human choice bows like a slave in submission to the absolute creative will, yet this does not deprive us of freedom or fear of taking responsibility for what we choose

        ( Mansavi V,(3097-98_)))))> 

         

        1. User avater
          PeterJ | Jan 23, 2005 05:35pm | #11

          When I used to work in a boat repair shop we got a lot of:

          Customer: "Can I do that myself?"

          Me: "It's not illegal!"

          Or

          Customer: "About how much will this repair cost"? (pre-estimate, of course)

          Me "Less than a million!" or a thousand, or five hundred. Always miles out of the ballpark.

           

          Got the funniest looks sometimes...go figure!PJ

          Whatever you can do or dream you can, Begin it Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.                             Goethe

  5. Huckleberry | Jan 23, 2005 11:31am | #8

    "You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette."
    "Don't sweat the small stuff."
    "Oops."
    "It looks good from my house."
    "It wasn't like that when I left the jobsite yesterday."
    "It looks good when the lights are off."
    "I'm a builder, not a janitor."
    "I only guaranteed it wouldn't leak because I thought it wouldn't rain!"
    "With all the horror in the world today, is it really all that important?"
    "The painter got drunk and fell asleep in a dumpster, and I guess he didn't hear the trash truck coming. As soon as I find a new painter I'll finish up, I promise."
    "Why would you expect me at your job today? I haven't spent all the money from my last draw yet."
    "That is not our drip. We just painted over the last painter's drip."
    "I couldn't make it to your job today because my cat had kittens."
    "As soon as I get out of re-hab, I'll come finish that punch-list!"
    "Don't worry about that leaking faucet. It'll prevent your pipes from freezing in the winter."
    "Once the foundation settles those miters will tighten right up."
    "Cleanup wasn't in my bid. That'll be an extra $15K."

  6. Shep | Jan 23, 2005 07:04pm | #12

    When customers ask "can we do this?"

    Depending on what they're asking about, I tell them I can do anything you want, its just a matter of how much you want to spend.

    1. mitch | Jan 23, 2005 08:30pm | #13

      "good, fast & cheap. pick any two."

      once i was in an interview of sorts with a company that was verrrry prominent and prestigious in their field (also very British) and when the manager finished impressing that upon me i replied cheerfully, "well i can fix that!"  he actually did allow a good natured chuckle to slip out.

      m

      1. User avater
        Sphere | Jan 23, 2005 08:38pm | #14

        Mitch...I always muttered to myself.."fisrt the possible, then work on the impossible"..never failed to get a laff. 

        Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks

        Every human choice bows like a slave in submission to the absolute creative will, yet this does not deprive us of freedom or fear of taking responsibility for what we choose

        ( Mansavi V,(3097-98_)))))> 

         

        1. Philter | Jan 23, 2005 08:44pm | #15

          " We'll pay you what you're worth",

           My response,"I can't afford to work for that!" Cheers,Phil.'I've no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents, do twenty minutes' work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of  highly experienced French peasant girls galloping up and down my - hang on...' "Black Adder" (Rowan Atkinson)

  7. Frankie | Jan 23, 2005 10:34pm | #16

    "You're Funny."

    "If you can do it why are you wasting your time talking to me?"

    "It"ll cost more than you have and less than I want."

    "Do you have a daughter?"

    "How old is your daughter?"

    "I am very busy."

    "I am not the quality of contractor you're looking for. May I suggest the Pro Desk at Home Depot?"

    F.

    1. mitch | Jan 23, 2005 10:47pm | #17

      customer: "joe blow can do it cheaper"

      bidder: "well, a man ought to know what his work is worth."

      another favorite in this vein is: "we've been doing so much with so little for so long that we now attempt the impossible with absolutely nothing."

      m

  8. bruceb | Jan 24, 2005 12:02am | #18

    Three favorites.

     One used after I knew I was wasting time " Yes ####### can do it cheaper, I believe that. But, ask yourself, do you really want your neighbors to see his 1979 plymouth station wagon "Work Truck" parked in front of your house in this neighborhood? BE awfully hard to tell them how much you spent at the next keep up with the jones' party after that"

     Funny, after that it turned out I wasn't wasting time and made a nice little profit off of that job.

     And one when a woman wanted her husband to put in a very complicated stair rail to replace the Iron one in place. " why yes ma'am he can do it himself. All he needs is: a 1/2" chuck drill, around 15 drill and screwdriver bits, a new 12" mitre saw, a powerful random orbit sander, a jig saw, 3 chisles Etc, Etc..........................................."

     Got the job and a nice tip for a job well done.

    The last one when a couple was downright condesending.  " well yes I could cut my price a little. But, I live in a much nicer neighborhood and if I did that how would I keep up my lifestyle".

     Didn't really care if I got that job.

  9. allenschell2 | Jan 24, 2005 01:42am | #19

    when looking over a set of prints for a house I was going to build for my sister and bro inlaw he looks at me and says "well...you think you can build it?" I said "you think you can get the money?" he got it and I built it.

    1. mikerooney | Jan 24, 2005 01:50am | #21

      How soon will you be done with this job?

      I can be done right now, if you want!If anybody ever said

      That I give a damn,

      Well they damn sure told you wrong.

      I've had ramblin' fever all along.

              - Merle Haggard

                                           

       

                                                          

       

      1. Nails | Jan 24, 2005 02:42am | #22

        All........Overheard  while I was discussing new offices for a used car dealership. One salesman to another " if you can't screw your friends you sure can't screw enemies."

        1. gbwood | Jan 24, 2005 03:47am | #23

          "Difficult we can do right away. Impossible might take a little while."

  10. homebaseboston | Jan 24, 2005 01:47am | #20

    my personal favorite (good for any service profession):

    "... don't worry missus we're not just slow, we're also expensive"

    _____________________________
    HomeBase
    __________________________  LLC

     

  11. DavidThomas | Jan 24, 2005 04:31am | #25

    To clients, I've explained that "Your relationship with your (environmental) consultant should be the best parts of your relationship with your doctor, lawyer, and builder - thoughtful and clever solutions are developed and implemented with professionalism and discretion. But it can also be the worst parts of those relationships - expensive, over-due, and the patient dies anyway."

    There's a store up here that advertises, "We screw the other guy and pass the savings on to you."

    David Thomas   Overlooking Cook Inlet in Kenai, Alaska
    1. FNbenthayer | Jan 24, 2005 04:37am | #26

      "If you don't like our prices, send your wife in and we'll dicker"

      - sign above the bar in a little tavern in CNY.  

       

       

       

      The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.- Fyodor Dostoyevski

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