Ive known this guy for years, He’s a good guy- he’s been slow lately. He didnt ask me, but I was gonna offer. Should I leave well enough alone? He’s been good to me. I hate seeing him stressed over finances. I’ve been there before, I know what its like.
What do you guys think?
Replies
Lend it on the following conditions:
1. You won't miss the money, even if it is never paid back
2. You won't hold it against him if it is never paid back
3. You do not use the loaning of the money as 'leverage' against him, making him feel indebted to you, even if (you guessed it) it is never paid back.
I'm sure there are several more. Personally, I never loan money to people I know, or don't know, frankly because I don't have enough of it for myself and family. But if your heart is big enough, and forgiveness is a strong character trait, then the guy might appreciate it. Then again, he might be too proud. And at that point, maybe he just needs a little extra in is check at the end of the job.
"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." Invictus, by Henley.
For what it's worth I regularly offer to lend money to my head carp as he just has no luck and is always hurting (read he does not have any luck with vehicles and has 3 kids). He always pays me back.
Like you said I have known/worked with the guy for years and he allways gives me his best. I hate seeing him stressed and I have been there before as well. I could also add that my main source of work has done the same for me in the past.
On a hill by the harbour
Good way to lose him as a sub.
Is your goal to be a good guy or a good contractor?
Welcome to the
Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime.
where ...
Excellence is its own reward!
also potentially great way to keep a good sub forever.
wasn't a loan ... but coupla years ago I got burned at the end of a big, to me, project. Money just wasn't there in the end and the next job fell thru ... so I was struggling. Only one not yet paid was my plumber.
not a "loan" ... but similar idea. He said to hold off paying him till everything else was set ... said he'd not accept any money for at least 6 months.
that was a coupla years ago ... I waited ... paid him in full ... rounded up ... and then sent restraunt gift cards after that ...
have used hime each and every time I can ... and have refered him to any and everyone since. And we're still not "friends" ... never were. Just good working relationship. We always got along ... liked working together .... but I never so much as stopped after work and had a quick beer with him.
I'd tell the opiginal poster, since the guy didn't ask ... that when yer broke(and haven't made a habit of it) .... even $500 is a life saver for a month.
Jeff
Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
How about giving/finding him some work instead. I suspect that might work out better. Unless the guy has a very firm plan on how he is getting out of the current situation he is in and would only need cash to bridge this time, money lent to him is unlikely to solve the issue. It will simply delay dealing with it, and result in a new set of stresses added into the equation (ie guilt about not being able to repay the money, embarrassment etc). Simply lending him money (along with the associated challenges for him.. and you) is likely to carry with it a very high likelihood that that your relationship with him will be damaged.
Very perceptive analogy. I'd only add that I don't ever offer to lend money because I know from personal experience that it's not likely to solve the underlying problem, if approached in that way.
I've always made small loans to employees when they've asked, but only if they proposed a repayment plan as well. I want to see a willingness to accept full responsibility.
I've asked one old friend, a man who owns an automotive service business, to let me use his heated garage and tools to do my own repairs, when I've been too broke to pay him during winter months when work has been slow. He's always been generous under those circumstances and I've always paid him fairly, when I got my others bills paid. We remain very good friends, nearly forty years later.
BTW, I've done complete engine swaps and some other major repairs, under his supervision. I've learned quite a bit and saved a bundle, getting my next year's transportation on the road.
It's a big confidence builder, being able to take care of transportation issues in that way. But it would never have happened if I'd had too much pride to ask him for the opportunity to do the work myself.
I believe that he respects me for that approach to dealing with being busted and needing some repairs. Just as I respect him for his knowledge and willingness to make room for my problems, when asked.
Edited 7/24/2008 7:47 am by Hudson Valley Carpenter
Edited 7/24/2008 8:05 am by Hudson Valley Carpenter
What type of work does he do?
Do you have anything that can be done at your place, win-win, you get something done, he get's a paycheck and doesnt feel worthless.
If not, try to find some work for him.
If your friends on a personal level that extends beyond the business I'd try to help him out and make it clear this was clearly outside of any business relationship.
I'd rather try and find some work to throw his way.
jt8
"A little 'enthusiasm' and all problems seems small!"
I have over the past 30 years loaned over 1000000.00 to employees friends relative and have lost employees friends because they do not pay back i do not ask about it they just leave i asked a friend psy. why that was he said they reason they are smarter than i am if they had not work ethic but only the luck i have they would have made it and thus they after a while they fell they do not owe me anything since it was only luck wwm.
I think your psychologist friend hit it on the head.
My first thought was that the OP (lou) must have received some vibes from the sub that were maybe not a direct request for a loan, but that served the same purpose.
I know I don't have enough information to make this judgment, but it seems like someone is getting manipulated. If you give a loan to someone who thinks they are manipulating you, all bets are off.
take off your hat and look at the front of it. If you do not see the word "Bank" on there, no.
Whenever i give money to people, i figure out how much i want to give, then give it. If they offer to give it back, i tell them to pass it on to someone who needs it more than they do; instead of paying it back, they pay it forward. I see helping people out if we are able to do so as the rent we pay for living on the planet.
If we get attached to the money, it owns us, not the other way around.
Good advise!
bingo!
i'd just as soon it was re-gifted so to speak.No Tag
Good advise. I have always thought that I spend money. Money doesn't spend me.
Do what YOUR heart tells you to do. Not every money lending story ends up going bad, just like working for family and friends going bad. Everyone will tell you not too. I've worked for all my family and friends and never once had a problem. I've also lent money to family and friends and never had a problem.
Sound advice.
To All, The advice has been helpfull and I get allyour points. I decided to have him do some work at my house. I paid him in advance and he's been here everyday finishing up. Thanks guys
Lou
I once had a boss that told me "never extend credit to a man who cant pay it back. You'll only put him deeper in the hole."
Made alot of sense to me. I'm pretty tight right now and a loan would only increase my strain.
What I need is more work, not a loan.
Having said that, I did pay half of my helpers rent one month. We were slow and he was a really good helper. That may be different though cause it wasnt a loan I just threw him three hundred bucks to show appreication for killing himself for me.
Edited 7/24/2008 8:21 pm ET by MSA1
Lou, if you can afford to lose it do it.
If you consider him a friend, consider that you will lose him as a friend if he doesn't pay it back. If he's a good guy he'll feel too guilty to come around if he can't repay you.
How much you talking, $1000, $10K?
I've been there, you've been there, we've all been short at one time or another. I've loaned way more $ than I've ever been repaid, but only a couple guys that I'm still pizzed about if I think about it.
Joe H
And actually I've screwed myself out of more money than any friend or customer did.
Only my Ex screwed me more than I did myself.
Joe H
"Only my Ex screwed me more than I did myself."
then why the heck did ya let her get away!
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
107441.18 in reply to 107441.1
And actually I've screwed myself out of more money than any friend or customer did.
Only my Ex screwed me more than I did myself.
Joe: Did you read this before you sent it. i could take those two sentences and go a lot of different directions with the jokes.
I see Jeff Buck beat me to the punch.
Ahh, Life. If it was easy it would be boring!!
loucarabasi,
The company I used to work for does stuff like that.. Skip payments for month or maybe as long as a year or two. In exchange we got a fantastic market share of customers in the housing industry.. over 65% of the builders used our product..
Surprisingly less than 5% overall and only once in my case did any customers abuse our help..