I don’t want to be a downer but, I am really frustrated with life right now. It just seems like everything is going to hell all at once. The last few projects I’ve done have been plauged with problems. Subs that I have always had really good luck with are not coming through. Communication breakdowns with customers. Employees making costly errors or just plain taking way too long to do the job. Even the suppliers I’ve dealt with since I ‘ve been in business are dropping the ball. Then there is the book work. I feel like throwing in the towel. I keep telling myself that it will turn around. I just don’t know how much longer I can wait. These set backs are costing me a ton of money and making me a little hard to be around. I know that I am probably a big part of the problem but I honestly feel that I am doing everything just like I have in the past. And the past was a lot better than the last few months have been.
Anyone suggestions for how to get out of this rut? Anyone else ready to go off the deep end?
Replies
Not trying to be a smartazz, but have you considered a vacation?
Was in the same Boat about 15 years ago.
Went down to the local childrens hospital.
About this time of year.
Found out, Life was'nt that bad.
Been back every year since.
Well, there is always a dope slap. LOL
But a vacation is probably in order. Get away and do something fun. Then you can go back with a fresh outlook. And start rolling again
Good Luck
Get steady..get out of your head. Take a deep breath a few times. Go burn a very expensive pc of food on the stove and set off the smoke alarms..grab your wife or GF and watch the house burn before the first responders come..tackle the No1 guy with the 02 tanks, breathe it all in one huff..
Then it gets fun.
When ya wake up..it'll allbe Rosey..( except, for that pesky No1 that ya sideswiped, he'll be rightfully mad)
Or...stay here and look at the real life..see there are two kinds of problems major, and minor...when it is affecting me, it is MAJOR, when it affects you..minor.
Sorry , if ya read this long..you need help, call a hotline..fer real, depression is not to play with, I did..I won, but it took ambition and love from strangers..we are here. talk on.
Perhaps a vacation. Maybe talking it over with the people who are letting you down with the idea of asking what they think is going wrong and perhaps what part your playing in it. Listen.
Your comment:... "but I honestly feel that I am doing everything just like I have in the past."
May be a clue. Everyone, including myself so I'm not holding myself out as better, thinks they stay the same while things and people around them change. Thing is we all change. We get in ruts. Loose perspective and freshness and the joy of seeing things anew.
A lack of enthusiasm or internal conflict can translate into subtle signs and mannerism that can run counter to your intended message. Praise can come across as sarcasm and concern as indifference. It can have less to do with what you mean than what they receive.
On the other hand the same statement can also, at the same time, show a potential problem in that the world has changed while your focus stayed still. The information load has moved from a steady stream to a hurricane torrent. Used to be we knew 99% of the people around us and the vast majority of news and influences were local. Many people were born, grew up, made a living and died in a 20 mile radius.
Now people drive 100 miles to work and think nothing about driving 50 miles to shop. Now most of the people we meet we don't know and daily business decisions in China have effects in the local markets.
Another point is that your getting older. Construction is a young man's game. I see helpers who are flighty and trivial and careless. I shake my head but I know that I too was, still am to some extent, flighty and trivial and careless when I was their age.
And kids today have so much more distraction. It was bad enough way back when. Four channels on the TV, three radio stations, friends, books and girls and cars there was more than enough to distract. What was a intoxicating drink is now a flood. Sometimes I wonder how kids today can do as well as they do.
Take a few days off. Come back and ask questions.
seems that i would go through spells like that. had to break the pattern as in a vacaction or short break or even a afternoon of fishing. years later still dont know why but be sure these times will end andbe replaced by some hot streaks
sounds like classic "low-bid" syndrome..
it's amazing how many of the symptoms you described go away when you charge more money for what you are doing
That is a chep shot.
obviously you wouldn't know a cheap shot if one jumped up and smacked you..
80% of contractors problems are because they don't make enough money..
they usually think they are not efficient enough, or not smart enough, or their employees are not productive enough, or their suppliers don't give them good prices..
when the simple fact is they are scared to charge what they need to make a profit... because they think they might not get any work..
the result is so familiar..... burn out, lack of enthusiasm, blaming others..
if you can't get the price you need to make a profit, go work for someone else.. you'll be better off
you can't make up a loss by increasing your volumeMike Smith Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore
Well said my friend. All of it is completely true. DanT
How about if I lose just a little bit on each job -- can I make it up in volume? <G>
I couldn't agree more. I'm in the process of reviewiong the financial side of things and trying to decide where to go from there.
Financial troubles can really get you down, and it's not always easy to pinpoint them as the main source of being depressed. At one period for me, I was so depressed that I had trouble leaving the house for more than a few days a week. I got some help opening my eyes and realized that the truth of the matter was that being afraid to charge what I needed, afraid to raise the price on jobs that ran into troubles and paying my employees more than they were worth was not a good business model. There was a year or two there where I probably made $8 per hour if I was lucky, maybe less, while paying an o.k carpenter with just a couple years experience $35 an hour instead of the $20 he deserved. $25 for a $15 helper.I routinely ate $500-$800 of overages on $3000-$5000 jobs.
I slept 12 hours a day and was always tired. Personal bills didn't get paid, I barely got paid (if at all) things got worse and worse...One month that stands out is a July that I put in 70-100 hour weeks, had five people working for me (instead of the usual two), doubled my previous best-grossing month - and lost $400. A couple months later was when my depression started in, but I didn't connect the two.
I finally decided to let everybody go and just work by myself after a year and a half of being down. It simplified my entire life. I had to take out a loan to pay everybody off but I'm back to doing what I love to do and am best at - working with my hands. I spend less than an hour a week "in the office and on the phone" instead of more than an hour everyday. All of the work gets done exactly how I want it to be done. I don't carry a cell phone anymore. It is almost totally stress-free and since I was such a terrible business person (at least with finances), going solo amounts to a much better and more predictable cash-flow.
I'm not suggesting that you need to do anything as drastic as I did, but it doesn't hurt to think outside the box once in a while, and really look at ALL your options.
Good Luck to you.
Hey Demon - Are you related to the Blue Eyed Devil?
Don K.
EJG Homes Renovations - New Construction - Rentals
Perhaps. Could be a distant cousin I 'spose.
Thats a great post Demon.
You should be thankful that you've found a path that make you happy.
blue
I don't think that mcf's pos twas a cheap shot. He made a good point. I think we have all been around people with unreasonable expectations. I know I've had a feww bosses that way.
Mike Smith's got a real good point there. Start bidding your upcoming jobs on the cost/time table of the jobs that you have recently done that are causing you so much aggravation.
In the meantime.....
A lot of time when the world seems dark and damp, and I'm feeling closed in and suffocated, and everything around me just stinks...... I find out that it's because my head is up my azz.
I can only speak for myself, but it's important for me to remember I am my biggest problem. You can't change very much in this world. But what you can change is how you look at it and how you react to it. Whether you're religious or not, think about the Serenity Prayer. Not because I think God is gonna swoop down and pay your bills or light a fire under your help, but because it makes good logical sense.
God (or whoever) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Say's alot doesn't it? Best advice I can give you, is "change something". Anything. Leave work early and romance your wife for an evening. Get out on a vacation. Take a job doing something a little different from your normal routine and get back to your roots. Try to build something that'll help you remember why you got into this field in the first place. I believe that most anyone in the trades who takes the job seriously is in it for love first and money second. There's just too much bullsh1t and aggravation that comes along with the job to stay here for very long without really loving some part of it at some level.
Another thing that will always help is to get out of yourself for awhile. Go help someone who's got it worse than you. It doesn't have to be a week of volunteering at a children's hospital or anything that dramatic. Give a buddy who's down and out a lift. Or a job. "Adopt" an underprivlidged family for Christmas. Join the Big Brother's program. I'm not kidding with this stuff. Giving back is part of a well-rounded life and right now, your life doesn't sound so well rounded.
Keep talking about it. You keep that crap bottled up inside you, you're gonna blow a gasket or stroke out on us. Talk to someone, a buddy, your wife, you mom... anyone who gives a sh1t and will listen.
I've got a buddy who's a GC (I'm a framer) and we call each other once a day to talk about what kind of crap hit the fan on that particular day. When I hear his trials and tribulations I start to feel a whole lot better and I'm sure I do the same for him. We end up laughing about whatever had us blowing our top a few minutes ago. It's good cheap therapy.
Hang in there. This to shall pass. It all does..... the good and the bad.
been feeling the same way lately. just seems that everything is a problem, and I find myself getting angrier and angrier. not that it helps, which just makes the whole thing more frustrating.
I find myself thinking why bother.
Then I think I need a serious change, but have no clue what that would be or how to go about it. Seems like I can't catch a break on anything. Was going to take a vacation, but really don't want to. I need to get a grip on things first, but it's just not happening.
You are not alone.
SHG
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is clear, simple, and wrong.
-H.L. Mencken
keek,
congrats.---really and truly. at some point in the future you will look back on this period and realize it made all the difference for you
You have noticed something----- and really noticing that thing is going to slowly give you a HUGE freaking advantage in the years to come( may be painfull in the short term 'though.
what you noticed is that you think you are doing things just the same---and that people,companies, organizations, customers around you are dropping the ball
Maybe you ARE doing things the same---maybe you aren't, Maybe folks around you are dropping the ball---maybe they aren't----------- either way---it really doesn't matter
Because what you have noticed is that nothing really stays the same.
3 basic things I noticed
1) the first 8 or 10 years I was in business I did pretty much every thing the same---that is---- each year I did what I did the year before---expecting if I just hung on long enough things would turn around--- I would be well known enough, I would have enough of a customer base etc.---- then I realized things were NEVER gonna work out any different as long as I kept thinking they would change on their own.
20 years later I still do the same volume of business I did back at the beginning------ I just decided to change how I was able to sell it, to price it, to produce it, to market it----slowly weeding out some services---slowly adding others----- but the total volume never changes that much. the prices, the quality , the satisfaction slowly increases-----and it never would have if I hadn't had the same relevation You have just had
2) Nothing stays the same--- just when you get that key employee trained to the point where he can step in and largely fill your shoes-------- he is gonna quit to start his own company
a long time supplier---will go out of business---leaving you to scramble
A trusted sub--- his wife will leave him and his attitude will evaporate----- or HIS key employee will leave
ETC.
you always knew this---but now you REALLY KNOW.---and so now you can begin to deal with the fact that everything will always be changeing. You will still have your favorite plumbing sub---but you ALSO be looking for a plumber who maybe does 1 out of 10 of your projects---just in case. You will still have a favorite lumberyard--- but every so often you will deal with another one or 2 --just in case
and with customers--- you will realize that they can come in streaks-- you will have some periods where EVERY job you look at comes up roses---you sell everything---they all come in winners--------and you will have some periods where it's just an ongoing slog
3) It helps to have a little ,partially ironic," mantra" .-----something you silently remind yourself of--- reminding yourself of the asurdity of the present momentary situation
My favorite is " thank you for everything, I have no complaints whatsoever"--- it always makes me mentally chuckle as when life dumps a passing bucket of turds on me. LOL
I have an-other which always makes my brother in law laugh at those tedious extended family gatherings" Hey---I am all about serving others"---we just look at each other and laugh---as we are forced into one unpleasant family duty after another.
but ,again,---congrats--- because I think you have really noticed something that is going to make a big difference for you--long term
Best wishes, Stephen
Vicious spiral. Get out....even if for only a week.
Trouble is that once you start feeling the way you do, you start to project negative vibes, energy, whatever, and the people around you (subs, suppliers, family etc ) will react in a negative fashion, which in turn will upset you more.
Break the cycle.
I would sit down, (even if I did not feel like it, and did not believe a word of it), and write a "non denominational winter holiday" card to each supplier, sub, customer and contact, thanking them for their patience, and support, throughout the past year. Let them know that without them your business would not be as successful as it is. For the ones that actually pull through, throw in a gift card to a local restaurant.
Then go away for a week.
When you return, you will be rested and more patient, and they will all be glad to see the nice guy that praised them even when they were not giving 100 percent.
Ok Keek, make a list.
Put the challenges that you know about going wrong on that list.
Second list is for things from the first list that you don't know the solutions to.
Third list is from a trusted friend--mentor or trusted businessperson you know reasonably well to fill out what he sees you doing wrong. (you may have to ply him or her with alcohol to get honesty--blunt honesty is required).
Once they give you the third list... hand them the second and ask for input.
Forest for the trees syndrome. Make sure that there isn't something you can't see affecting you adversely.
I did 3 trade shows in 4 weeks this fall. Everything got done... but I had to do 3- 130 hour weeks to make it happen.
People didn't show up-- people didn't return calls... who's fault?
MINE.
That will never happen again.
When is it time to throw in the towel?
When the three sheets are more or less void of anything useful.
The day we don't know the answers and have nobody to tell us the answers.
L
GardenStructure.com~Build for the Art of it!
Keek,
I'm just coming out of, what is so far the worst year in my life. Similiar problems to yours. There's lots of good advice posted here.
For me, it was time to step back and take a good look at how I was doing things. It's easy to let this business run you. Working your butt off, maybe not making what you should. Not having a life beyond work.
What I did was downsize. No more employees. Smaller jobs. Jobs with the kind of work that I like to do. I found myself taking on almost anything just to keep the others working. No more!!! Now I enjoy going to work again, instead of dreading it.
Keep pushing forward! Things will get better. Attitude is everything.
Mine changed greatly, on finding out that a very good friend was terminal with cancer. He's got 2 young kids, and won't see either graduate from high school. Made all of my problems seem trivial, and petty!
One thing I am doing, is taking some time away from my business, to help one of his endeavors move forward. He didn't ask, but it's the least I can do. Hopefully, It can provide him with some source of pleasure.
Good luck,
Brudoggie
Last December ...
I sat in this very same chair ... looking at this very same computer screen ...
and had a deep and long talk with my wife about whether or not I should declare bankrupcy, close up shop ... and go work days for who ever would hire me and nights at HD ....
we talked for about an hour ...
and roughly 15 minutes after our talk ... I decided to make some changes myself.
First was a mental change ... no quitting ... so no more talk of quitting.
Second ... needed a positive cash flow ... and a steady cash flow ... fast ... so I was suddenly focusing way more on sub work and less on my own home owner jobs ...
Less reward ... but less risk ... and less stress ... and less thot!
Just show up ... do the work ... pass Go and collect $200 ...
pretty much a year to the day later ... I do remember this was right before XMas ... so we're close to the one year aniversery ... left the job site today.
The designer stopped along the way this afternoon and bough us both a beer ... because I'd finished up what I told her I had plans to finish ... for some reason she thot I had to kill myself to make our little deadline ... then ... she kept complimenting my work. Free beer and compliments ... plus ... and invitation to come back again tomorrow!
Not that there haven't been flaws in the plan in the previous year .... just left a cab dealer that tried to screw me and I'll still probably run him past the magistrate for the final payment ... But ... a year ago ... I woulda ended our final phone call by curling up in a corner and crying ... this time ... I had a bit of fun letting him know that Yes, he would be paying me the full amount ....
what I did ... was suck it up. Busted my a$$ and worked hard and efficiently ... focused where the steady money was ... and paid down my debts. Still have a mountain to climb ... but each peak is smaller and smaller.
and mine was caused mostly by one big job that went fairly well!
just too many "last minute decisions" ... not made on a timely basis ...
cash flow stopped flowing .... waiting ... and I never bothered to get "the next big thing" lined up and waiting for me to roll into ...
This year .... smaller chunks ... more often. Biils and debt seem to get paid quicker this way ... might make a habit out of it.
Sounds like it might be time for a cheap vacation ... somewhere ... anywhere ... away.
and some thinking about company re-organization ...
Hell ... go camping in the snow for a week if U can't afford anything else.
Fire wood is romantic AND cheap!
Jeff
Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
Jeff, Wow, when you look in the mirror, am I looking back at you?
Been riding right next to you, on that road, all year. It's good, when things start to get better though. A bit of a bad spell, can really put things into perspective. Brudoggie
If it's not you looking back at him, it must be me.Well said, Jeff. It's a priviledge to associate with you, even in cyberspace.
Right after I posted this( well the next day ) I started the ball rolling on the right path. I really appreciate everyone responding. Some really great advice. The vacation idea sounds perfect.
I will be finished with a remod tomarrow and then I am going to help a friend trim out a house that has to be completed by the 29th of this month. It will be fun to just do the work and not worry about the other stuff. I am going to have to lay my help off, but I guess that's the way it goes. No one ever had a problem laying me off when they needed to.
I should also mention that my wife and I talked things over. She has always been very understanding when I am stressed out. She keeps me from loosing perspective on things. I could'nt do it with out her.
Thanks again for the advice. I knew I was'nt the only one to ever feel this way, but it is good to here how others have dealt with it.
Keek, I have to give you a big "Thanks" for putting this thread out there and also to all those who responded with such sincere and helpful advice and empathy.
I'm glad to hear that you are making the turn.
You never know what others are going through. Reading some of the replies here just amazed me that some of those who you might look at as almost bullet proof can and do have some of the same problems that we other mere mortals experience fom time to time.
The difference is that you can either throw in the towel or keep going. I've always kept going and now I am reminded again that a lot of others have kept going through the same aggravating times.
This has just been a great reminder that everyone has struggles from time to time and that sometimes just a willingness to listen, offer a kind word, be a little easier to work with, cut a little slack, buy a round or whatever may be more appreciated that one can know.
"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." Pascal
About 4 years ago I was feeling the way you do.
I ended up leaving my business, and just going to work for a lumber yard. After just a couple of months, I realized I hated not being able to work with my hands. I also didn't like the "dead" time, when no customers came in, and I sat around trying to look busy.
So I started being a carpenter again. I pick and choose my jobs better, I don't have employees, and I balance between being a subcontractor, and jobs of my own.
I also found this place about 3 years ago, which has been great for talking to others with similar problems.
As others said, sometimes you need a little distance to get some perspective. I needed about 6 months( I'm a slow learner). You may need less.
And its very important to talk to your wife about all this. Mine was (and is) very supportive. It sounds like yours is, too.
"It will be fun to just do the work and not worry about the other stuff. "
don't know just how often U do that ... but man ... is it fun!
I have a little group of solo carps that I'm friends with ... we all get our own work ... and we all trade off helping each other out every now and then ... even have an agreed upon "discount rate" ... paid cash at the end of the day or week.
Plus ... usually the "boss" buys lunch ... 'cept with Dante ... as he always insists?
anyways ... just last week ... kept my promise to a buddy doing a big kitchen install ...
he was subing thru a cab shop that feeds him all his work ... this time ... working dircetly thru one of their long standing customers ... who was GC'ing his own house.
15 minutes into the job ... I do a quick measure ... Uh oh ... either that wall is 2" too close ... or we got 2" too much of cabinets .. either way ... they ain't gonna fit!
45 minutes later moving said wall becomes my buddy's job?
measure the other side of the L ... not too bad ... they can use 3 outta the 4 switches ... just gotta pull the fridge and reach into the cabinet to hit that 4th one!
Suddenly ... I'm an electrician moving a 4 gang box.
Center run of cab's ... the special order color ... weren't! Weren't any color ... raw ... so had to call his boss's shop and real quick-like special order a custom finish job ...
then .. let's see ... the gas line for the island came up right at the back corner of two boxes ... neither of us wanted to be the plumber ... so the owner called his guy ... which wasn't bad ... because he'da been there anyways .. as the stub outs didn't quite make it tall enough to get above the bottom of the cabs ...
luckily ... the basement was already drywalled! Guess who's buddy was the one to make sure it actually got cut open ... and cut it open himself.
This whole job was/is a cluster F .... my buddy had way less stress than he could have because I did my best to overcome most of the obstacles ... and I had a blast just watching the whole train wreck ... thanking my lucky stars I was just the dumb helper screwing boxes to the wall!
I've been in similar situations and it really helps to have an equally qualified buddy there to step in and just build sh!t while yer so close to the money being lost that U just stand in the headlights and watch the truck run ya over.
It's alot of fun to sometimes just go to work then collect a little paycheck ... with no authority and/or decision maiking responsibilities what so ever.
Have fun ...
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
Sounds like a fun group of guys. I have a couple of buddies that I work with once in a while. We usually have a good time and get a helluva lot of work done. i don't come home in a crappy mood either. Maybe I need to spend a little more time with those guys.
You know it's strange. I remember when Dad first hired me for "pay" ($2.00/day). I was 9 years old. My biggest job was to make sure the floor was swept and there were no ankle breakers laying around. I used to watch him and his partner do all the "real work", like using that big circular saw.
Now, many years later, I get to supervise subs and workers, do design, order materials, deal with the problems and f-ups, make sure there's money to pay everybody, etc. There have been a lot of days I looked at that "big" circular saw and wish all I had to do was sweep the floor and keep the place clean.
Don K.
EJG Homes Renovations - New construction - Rentals
Edited 12/15/2005 10:45 pm ET by DonK
I got ya beat by a year!
first time on a jobsite as a "paid professional" was at age 8.
sweeping up ... learning tool names then keeping track of them for my Dad ...
that "keeping track" deal never really left the job description ... when I was working with him ...
I still remember getting yelled at because I didn't know how to sweep!
Yup ... sweeping up ... and hammering over nails in boards ...
those were the days ...
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
Sorry to hear about your problems. Hope you find a good way to deal with them. Looks like you are getting some good advice.
I gotta come back and read more when I have time.
Good luck!
"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." Pascal
Hmmmm, "keek" hasn't been back. Hope he's doing ok.
Sounds like the focus is "work", I mean it sounds like it's at the top. Not being critical of your ambition but I'm telling you the truth that "work" won't serve as the "top driver" to make your "programs" click.
You're overfeeding one dog and the other is eatin' you alive.
You're overfeeding one dog and the other is eatin' you alive.
A lot of us do that. LOL"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." Pascal
My wife works at a children's hospital. One of the things she has learned there is that if nobody is dying - then it's not all that important.
I get there too.
First step: Recharge the batteries. As several folks have mentioned, a vacation can be magical. Even if its only a week...and even if you know you'll have to return to the mess. Even if you think you can't afford it, get away for a week. It recharges the batteries. Right now you're a rechargeable battery that isn't spending enough time on the charger to build up a decent charge. All that does is damage the battery.
You can't think clearly until the batteries are recharged.
Second step: make some changes. I'm not talking about anything as drastic as giving up your profession. I'm talking about identifying the real drains on your charge. It ain't a supplier missing a shipment. It isn't an employee making a mistake.
In my case step #2 involves reducing debt, reducing expenses, changing the way I look at things. Locate the items which are draining your energy and make changes.
And keep reminding yourself: Things will get better. Things will get better. Because they will. The biggest mistake I made is to keep doing things the same way and expect a different result.
jt8
"The cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." --Oscar Wilde
I have read the entire thread. One thing I feel has been neglected is expectations. Are your expectations in line with the reality of owning and operating a business? If your expectations are not realistic you may need to realign them to be more practical.
I have found that it is very difficult to gage peoples situations with out knowing explicit details. I am unsure if your situation is truely as severe as described or just an imbalanced perspective.
You should look inside and evaluate that for yourself. Maybe things are truely difficult now and you must weather the storm or jump ship...or maybe you are not fit to handle what is normal happen-stance for your industry. I don't have the answer nor does anyone else...but I wish you the best finding your path or correcting the one you are on.
I agree that a person can have unreasonable expectations. I guess I don't feel that I expect too much of my suppliers, subs, and employees. I just expect them to do the job and do the best they can to do it on time and on budget. Most of the time they do. It just seems that things haven't been going that way lately.
Keek, everything that has been said here is the truth.
Get away for a long weekend, even if all you do is buy enough diesel to drive out to the middle of nowhere, drink cheap beer, fart, and stare at the stars. You need to get away from the desk and the jobsite.
A little perspective works wonders.
Ever heard the story about the old man and the kid chopping wood?
If not, I'll tell you.
Every single one of us who has been in business for themselves has been through this, some of us more than once. It's rough.
Ever heard of a poet named Kahlil Gibran?
He said, "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
This might all be a good change. Hang in there.
Know zilch about your type of work. Relieve yourself of that bookwork by finding someone to help you. Generally accountants are good at providing referrals for someone who might be able to assist you.
Communications might could be improved with customers & subs by placing more in writing (even if it is nothing more than a yellow pad) & providing agreement signature.
As to suppliers, everyone is at their mercy but there may be another vendor more than willing to provide your needs, one who needs your biz. No doubt suppliers have the same problems you have; just cannot get competent help!
Always know there is someone out there who may be more capable than you in their area of expertise. That may be cheaper than you having to feel as you do today. Tomorrow will be a new day! Take a deep breath & start fresh while seeking new & creative ways to accomplish your task. GOOD LUCK!