aka… No good deed goes unpunished.
So, my 82 y.o aunt, the only relative I’m close to lives in NY in an efficiency (for those of you in the hinterlands, that’s a one room apartment). She tells me that her sleep sofa has died and that she’s been chasing all over town to find one she likes without luck and has been sleeping on it closed. From the sound of it, it’s got a sheered off rivet in the hinge so I pack up some tools and drive there this morning.
Take a look and sure ’nuff… sheered off the rivet that this whole thing pivots on. Guessing it’d be about a 1/4 20 thread, I brought a few different lengths and some locknuts. I’m feeling pretty smug as I reach into my tool box. Right into the package of utility knife blades that has spilled open. Well, I guess I didn’t need that last 1/4″ of my fingertip, did I? Lots of blood and an improvised bandaid later I cut the rivet out and bingo, the bolt slips right in.
We have a little lunch, chat a bit and I’m ready to get back home in time to get some things done this afternoon. Walk outside and see… nothing…no truck. OK, so I was a taddddd into the “No Parking” zone but this is the weekend in NY. Everyyyyyyyyyyone parks illegally, right? You’d THINK it would be easy to call the local precinct and determine if and where your car has been towed right? But…this is NY… the land where easy, logical and efficient went the way of the buffalo. BTW, I learned today that according to the NYPD, ALL of NYC is technically a No Parking zone. How’s them apples?
When I finally find out (an hour later)that my car has been towed, I call the number for the impound lot and find out that it closes… FOR THE WEEKEND…in 20 minutes. Pleading for understanding with Frau Blucher on the phone was like asking the IRS to have a sense of humor about that little indiscretion on your last tax return. I’m practically shrieking at the cabbie… “I’ll give you 50 bucks if you get me to the Queens impound lot before 3 o’clock”. If you want to look death in the eye…if you want to know how much sheer terror you can stand… tell a NY cabbie you’ll tip him 50 to make a 45 minute trip in 20 minutes. I’m not proud to say I think I peed my pants a bit on the way. It might have been (God forgive me) when we plowed through a flock of ducks (don’t ask me wtf they were doing crossing a Queens street). I’m sure some of Daffy’s family are stuck in the cab grille.
We made it with 2 minutes to spare.
Fixing my aunt’s couch: .25 linear inches of fingertip
NYC parking ticket: $115.00
“Standard” towing fee: $180.00
Home again with my friend The Wild Turkey (no relative to our victims I hope): Priceless
And sadly some animals were undoubtedly harmed in the making of this film.
PaulB
Replies
Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer drove the family into NYC...
Glad you made it out alive!
Steve
That was arguably post of the day.
I hate parking laws & I am very familiar with utility blades.........
On a hill by the harbour
There's a little place for you in heaven. It's days like these that you're just confirming it is all.
It is a good think that you did not try to get a scoop of ice cream while all of this was going on.
.
A-holes. Hey every group has to have one. And I have been elected to be the one. I should make that my tagline.
####!
After 16+ years of stories like yours I finally got a spot in a parking garage. Money well spent.
last week i reached in my tool box and cut my finger wide open on of all things a plastic wrapper that the new caulk box came in. In the oily 70s i went with my dad to work in Spanish Harlem installing windows in apts, I went down to get some tools from the truck and there were 6 black panthers sitting on the truck, I just about wet myself when one said hey boy we were watching your truck for you, You cant leave these tools laying around., But i was always stressed driving into the city, The Cops used to never bother trucks and workers back then much.
Same basic NYC parking story (doesn't every NYer have one?). I drove into Manhattan for the evening, arriving just before six PM, when the daytime parking limitation ended. Pulled into the only likely looking spot on the block and waited until a few minutes after six to lock up and leave.
Returned two and a half hours later to find my car gone. Couldn't remember exactly where it had been parked but the entire block was legal, so it seemed.
I saw a guy come out of a side door nearby and put a plastic bag in a garbage can. Figuring him to be more knowledgeable about the block than me, I called out to him, "He buddy, my car's missing from this block. Any reason it might've been towed?"
"Where exactly was it parked?"
"I don't remember the exact spot. Why?"
"Because if it was parked in that spot in front of the old church, it wasn't legal, no matter what time it was."
I walked a few steps to the space he indicated. There, directly behind a small tree with a lot of fresh green leaves, was a NO PARKING sign, completely hidden by the fresh folliage.
Laughing at the situation, so typical of NYC's bureaucratic nonsense, I yelled back to the guy who'd been advising me, "Sure enough, there's a sign right here, hiding behind this tree. So where do they take towed cars from this neighborhood?"
He gave me a shrug with both palms up, turned and re-entered his building.
"Hey, thanks for your help", I yelled after him.
Still mildly amused, I walked up to the corner. Just as I was about to enter a bodega I saw a cop car turn onto the street, a couple of blocks away. Checking for traffic, I stepped into the street and waved the cops down.
"Hi. I think my car was towed. Where do they go from this neighborhood?"
"There's a pier over on the Hudson, not far from here but they close that lot at 9PM."
There were zero cabs around so I jogged about a mile and a half only to find the manager locking the gate just as I arrived.
Wouldn't have mattered. I didn't have enough cash to pay the fine and towing fee anyway.
Ended up in a cheap room (~$125-$150 today) in the theater district. Got a cash advance on a credit card in a fancy 5th Ave bank the next morning, returned to the pier and retrieved my car. Total cost; about three days pay.
So, having lost the day anyway, I stayed in Manhattan and visited the Metropolitan museum. Parked in their garage and gladly paid the outrageous fee, safe in the knowledge that my car would still be there when I wanted to go home.
Edited 3/2/2008 8:07 am by Hudson Valley Carpenter
Had my car broken into, and towed twice in one day in Manhatten. At least the second time I knew where the impound lot was<G> Winterlude, Winterlude, my little daisy,
Winterlude by the telephone wire,
Winterlude, it's makin' me lazy,
Come on, sit by the logs in the fire.
The moonlight reflects from the window
Where the snowflakes, they cover the sand.
Come out tonight, ev'rything will be tight,
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're grand.
Youse guys are really making me want to drive to NY.
NOT.
you only get one chance to do it right the first time
Youse guys are really making me want to drive to NY.
NOT.
Go in on Sunday. No traffic in Manhattan. You'd think you and Donald Trump owned the whole town.
PaulBinCT.
Other than brief landings and plane transfers I have made it my lifes ambition to never go to New York City!
Doubtless many others feel as I do or they wouldn't have to spend millions on their advertizing budget.
Don't get me wrong... I love NY (gee, that sounds like a song ;) )
But, when things go wrong there, they seem to always go terribly wrong. Sometime I'll relate the story of going to a clip joint strip bar with a friend when we were about 17... now THAT was an adventure...PaulB
How about a sometime right now?
Peach full,easy feelin'.
Nah...gotta get me when I've had a snort, I'm a better storyteller then ;)PaulB
Ok,
gotta admit these cityslicker stories alarm the countrified beejeebees out of me.
Peach full,easy feelin'.
Frenchy,From one minnesotan to another, do yourself a favor and spend some time in NYC. It's one of the greatest places in the world. But I live 4 hours away in a town that's population 650...Steve
I think Frenchy would fit right in in NYC!
Russell
"Welcome to my world"
>>I think Frenchy would fit right in in NYC!<<Well, he sure wouldn't back down in a confrontation! But in NY that can get ya killed.Steve
mmoogie,
London, Paris, LA, Madrid, Frankfurt, Hong Kong, Sydney, Singapore, Tokyo, Manila, etc..
I've driven into and visited.. New York? The good lord willin' I won't ever drive there or go there anyplace other than the airport..
Frenchy,How you gonna know if you never try? I'm tellin' ya. I've been around too. Add New York to the list. You won't regret it. What's the big deal? Is this some deep-seated psychological problem?Steve
New York is (unfortunately) a much tamer place then it was even 20 years ago, never mind in the 70's. I came here exactly 20 years ago this week (boy time flies). The crime level is the lowest in 40 years. More sh$t happens in the rest of the US, but when something does happen here it gets sensationalized by the press. Also all the TV shows give an impression that it is much worse than it is. I'm surprised someone like Frenchy still believes in the myth of NY.
It's funny but weren't things in NY somehow more fun in the old days where every block was another adventure?PaulB
Ain't that the truth. It has become so sanitized as of late. I lived in the East Village for awhile and 7th St. btw. B & C was a coke block, very safe block, lot's of NJ plates getting their 8-balls. 8th St. on the other hand was the H-block, much more dangerous, with a lot of strung out freaks. I lived on 7th St.
I drove in NY city just once. 1969 Take 1 42ft long school bus, 1 slightly inebriated driver, several of those illegal smokes, a drop of this and a taste of that and mix well with traffic. I enjoyed it. I am pretty sure the transit driver I made back down a one way street after I made a wrong didn't appreciate me though.
They can't get your Goat if you don't tell them where it is hidden.
Was Ken Kesey with you ;-)
Naw, His bus was a lot prettier than mine was.
They can't get your Goat if you don't tell them where it is hidden.
20 years ago is when I left, actually 22 years now, 1986. To be in your 20's and living in NYC in the 70's...man that was the bomb! Pre-aids, the sexual revolution was in high gear, coke, grime, CBGB, experimental you name it, rooftop reefer & sunsets, dirt & downright down, all while waitering in my cumberbun to the other half uptown at the Waldorf. I remember the first time I ever walked down Christopher St with a #### friend of mine...man I was lucky to get outa there alive! I spent a wonderful week one night at the Whitehorse Tavern. Me & Dylan Thomas. Those were the nights I could have ended up anywhere, and often did. What a hoot! Then I fell in love with Brooklyn, then I fell in love and then my first son was born there and I didn't know until then what love could be like. NYC. It will always be right here, no matter where I may be.
I forgot about the wonderful censor here. My friend was gai
mmoogie,
No! Pure bigotry! <grin> I just pick out some things places that are highly popular and vow never to go there..
Minnesota has the Mall of America biggest shopping mall in the world and I've vowed to never go there.
I've also Vowed never to go to New York city, and I've decided to avoid Texas as well. And Venis Italy.
Frenchy, I learned how to ride a 750cc Norton Commando in London.
Drove in Paris. Rode on the sidewalks in Rome (so did everyone else, if you were not a car). Battled heat-induced road rage in Tel Aviv and Eilat. Did 118 mph indicated on the Autostrada outside of Milan - and got passed by a Ferarri. Rode my Honda in Los Angeles, white - lining (is that still legal?).
Drove taxis in Vancouver, 5 ton and bigger trucks in Johannesburg, played bumper-tag in Durban.
I use nail guns and saws for a living.
He** no, when I go see my daughter in NY, I drive!Quality repairs for your home.
AaronR ConstructionVancouver, Canada
Texas is probably smart. Mall of America is just another mall. I prefer Rosedale. But New York and Venice, well let's just say it's your loss, not theirs. If you want to deprive yourself of good things that's your prerogative.Steve
No different than Paris - great to visit, just don't ever think of driving! That's what public transit's for.
I actually get a little bit of a kick driving around NYC. It's a little like bumper cars. But I wouldn't want to do in a nice car. Parking, now that's another story altogether...I rented a car in paris many many lives ago. Now that was a nightmare.Steve
I love NY, and I love driving in NY, it's a contact sport<G>... saw a Mercedes in the Village literally push two cars apart to make a parking space for itself... very creative.The way the streets are laid out, coupled with the fact it's an island, you can't get too lost, besides, every wrong turn is another adventure...I've lived there, and visited... been to Paris, too... New York's the best... hadda go and marry a country girl who cooks outta the New York Times Cookbook<G> Winterlude, Winterlude, my little daisy,
Winterlude by the telephone wire,
Winterlude, it's makin' me lazy,
Come on, sit by the logs in the fire.
The moonlight reflects from the window
Where the snowflakes, they cover the sand.
Come out tonight, ev'rything will be tight,
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're grand.
I don't mind driving in NYC, either. You just have to pretend the other guy doesn't exist. LOL
Boston drivers, on the other hand, scare the you-know-what outta me. Its the only place I've ever driven where I was truly afraid. I thought I was in a Nascar race- driving 70 mph on the interstate thru Boston, with people following me so closely that I couldn't see the grill of their car in my mirrors.
I never understood why you have to 'burn your lights' in NC though.
we only burn our lights after we mash some buttons... Winterlude, Winterlude, my little daisy,
Winterlude by the telephone wire,
Winterlude, it's makin' me lazy,
Come on, sit by the logs in the fire.
The moonlight reflects from the window
Where the snowflakes, they cover the sand.
Come out tonight, ev'rything will be tight,
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're grand.
I lived a couple of years in Cambridge, going into Boston was lot like going over to Durham from here... how do all the rudest, me-first drivers coagulate in the same places at once?<G> Winterlude, Winterlude, my little daisy,
Winterlude by the telephone wire,
Winterlude, it's makin' me lazy,
Come on, sit by the logs in the fire.
The moonlight reflects from the window
Where the snowflakes, they cover the sand.
Come out tonight, ev'rything will be tight,
Winterlude, this dude thinks you're grand.
I've managed to avoid Minnesota all my life. Weird stuff like in the film Fargo happens up there or so I've heard.
>>Weird stuff like in the film Fargo happens up there or so I've heard.<<That's what we want you to believe. You just stay right where you are and you'll be fine...Steve
ya, what we get in Ohio are dead meth heads that are cut up and put into swamp ponds.
Or the occasional screwdriver stabbing of the drunk abusive husband that gets buried next to the neighbor's pool in the backyard
which they would have never found out about if a teacher at the JrHigh hadn't intercepted a note about it from the student son who was in on the deal.
Peach full,easy feelin'.
I used to ride my MC around at night in NYC that was a lotta fun and a good way to learn the streets, There were bad parts though and people threw things at you just for fun.
Frenchy:
NY is a really cool place. (coming from a country boy who grew up on a farm)
I go about every 3 years or so and it is worth it every time.
Wife grew up on longilant (rest of us know it as Long Island) so she is my tour guide which helps.
Gotta Take the Train in, have a plan and go see the sights.
A Ferry tour ride down the Hudson River out into the bay and around Lady Liberty is awesome and an unbelievable history lesson.
I would NEVER conceive of driving my truck with tools into the city though. There are people who live there who know how to deal with life there and that is why it probably costs 250 to get a toilet plunged.
Hey Frenchy, my DW pesters me all the time to go to NYC or Chicago. I just tell her I don't have a passport that's valid in those places.
(I don't go nowhere I cain't carry!)
'It's safe to go through Chicago at night -
If you're a bullet'
-Slappy Whiteyou only get one chance to do it right the first time
wdb45
I love to be prejudicioused
Logic isn't required nor reason.. and you can blythly smile at all those who attempt to convince you otherwise.
Anything New York has I can buy via the internet or wait for it to come here (Minnesota is very high on the theatre circuit, right near the top!) As for Texas I know of no real reason to go there.. I spent enough time in Corpus Christie getting flight training one summer to understand some of the ills of Texas. Since then I've completely been able to avoid it..
Could you imagine? Ted(the motor city idiot)Nugent and frenchy in Texas. Nothing like this world has ever seen.
Russell
"Welcome to my world"
Ahh, Paul.
Whenever you do stuff for free for good friends or family.
Dont stop doing it, but ouch!
Here's the thing, you will be telling that story for years to come!!!
Jeff in PA. (NOT NY)
you're bringing back fond memories for me.....
about 25 years ago, i was dating my future wife who was in school in Boston, i was Bethlehem, PA and was going up to visit her for the weekend. she asks me to stop in Manhattan on the way and meet her old boyfriend to drop off something that belonged to him.
Manhattan, while physically between the two cities, is not really on the way.
anyway, he and i meet in the city, and he asks me to give him a ride to his place in Brooklyn. geez, now we're really going the wrong way.
as we are crossing over the bridge in my 73 Impala, i drive over a piece of pipe that is rolling in the street. a loud bang from below was followed by a trail of liquid streaming behind us and a lot of people on the sidewalk screaming and pointing as we went by.
fortunately, the gash in the gas tank and the liquid streaming had not yet caught fire, but what i was beginning to learn from the ex-boyfriend was that we were now driving in Bed-Stuy, and if we stopped there, we would be choosing between the locals killing us or being burned in the car fire.
eventually, he found an acceptable spot to pull over and park, naturally it was in a marked one hour zone. which led to two cops giving me two separate parking parking tickets, one under each wiper within 45 minutes of each other. Can they do that ?
i had no idea that they even had junkyards in the city, but we found one that day. i pulled the tools out of the trunk, changed the tank in the street and made it to Boston quite late.
i wrote an angry letter to the NYPD about their city's pipe and the whole yadayada and why i shouldn't have to pay the tickets.
i'm PRETTY sure they were forgiven in one of those ticket forgiveness thingys the city did many years ago.
at least i hope so.
carpenter in transition
Paul
That story is priceless!
As the saying goes, no good deed...........
Doug
Thanks Doug... it only hurts when I look at my bank account ;)PaulB
Got to your post late, but it made my morning! Sorry about your troubles, but your karma's in good shape.
Your story reminded me of the time 25 years ago when I thought the infamous Lincoln Park Towing (Steve Goodman song Lincoln Park Pirates) had nabbed my car when I parked it under the L tracks in Chicago.
Returning after a day of work, I discovered a film was now being shot where my car was parked more or less legally. Asking a cop standing by the shoot where all the cars went, he just pointed to the LPT sign. I got a friend to take me to their lot behind the nastiest housing project in the city where the lady tells me that they don't have my car. After some checking, she tells me that the film crew had them move all the cars from that location into a grocery store parking lot across the street from the shoot. Nice crew.
Sure enough, there was my car safe and sound 50 feet from where I had parked it. I think the movie may have been Risky Business.
If Norm Abrahms and Gene Wilder got married and had a kid...
They'd be ####... what are you saying Clarisse?
PaulB
(ooops... that's a banned word? I mean they'd be of an alternative lifestyle)
Edited 3/3/2008 5:08 pm ET by PaulBinCT
I'm saying they'd have produced the James Herriot of the carpentry world...minus the animal sacrifice, that is.
View Image
But you've gained a lot of karma credits. I hope that my nephew is as good to me.
Edited 3/3/2008 6:17 pm by jyang949