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Not a business card but still good, about a year ago I was in a Manhattan hardware store. Out front an old work van pulled up with hand painted lettering that said – “Electrical Contractor – Serving all 7 states of NYC” I’m not great at geography but……… I don’t think I would let them change a light bulb. I should have asked the guy for a business card, that would have been great to have with that phrase.
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Card for Cassion Driller "Your Hole is our Business"
Card for Septic Pumper "Royal Flush Beats A Full House"
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Toilet seat manufacturer. . . dates from my youth. . .
i Tops for Bottoms
Seen on the door at a newspaper's classified ads dept
i Don't honk me, the hurrier I go the behinder I get!
*Hey, you Blue-Eyed-Devil,....your printer should've noticed that "to" should've been "too". Hope you got a little refund.
*My brother and brother-in-law were hanging rock in SF and saw a step van drive by. The name of the business was painted on the side of the truck: "Two White Guys Who Do Drugs and Paint Houses". They liked it, but the best they could come up with for themselves was, "Two punks who rock", (my brother having a Mohawk hairdo at the time).
*I worked for these two partners for a while. One of them decided to get t-shirts made for everybody. The other one suggested, tongue in cheek, that they should have company name on front and say "Hi, I'm Blodg'" on the back. When they gave them to us, sure enough, there it was in big letters on the back!Same company had a really bad looking Fir tree on their card and under the company name was their slogan "This is a serious buisness".The electrician that used to do their work and still does mine and I laugh all the time about that. And he swears that their first ever slogan was "If we can't do it, maybe somebody else can, we don't know!" - jb
*When I was in the truss business, I always wanted one that saidb "Truss Me"
*How about business cards that say something like: "SPECIALIZING IN rennovations, new construction, screen doors, gutters, masonry, roofing, light hauling, landscaping, well drilling, paving, cabinet making.... more on back of card."I new a guy who made light of that type of card by getting some made up as a joke listing his real business followed by: "marriages arranged, wars started..."
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Had a friend receive 1000 new cards. Part of his pitch was that he specialized in " large decks"....trouble is, they mis-spelled "decks"
*I was often tempted to use this one to appeal to Yuppie snobs: "We may not be the fastest, but we're the most expensive."
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"...large docks"?
About four years ago we finally put a set of quilting stamps together to introduce at a national show. Took hundres of hours of experimenting with different shapes, coordinated it with a book of quilt designs, big breakthrough for us. Sold like crazy. So I get home, we refine it a bit more, this is gonna be the one that puts us over the top.
Have a great design for the label on the box. 6"x6" four color label with a really intricate design, spend maybe a week getting prices, deciding how much to spend etc. Finally order 5,000 labels, totally excited when they come. Open them up and the wife looks at me and says "honey, our zip code is 98580 not 98590! Guess what knothead proofed the labels? - jb
*The guy up the road, who does sign painting, banners and t-shirts, told me about a t-shirt order they did once. The new girl, at the time, set up the 250 shirts for printing. On the order form, under where it specifies what goes on the front pocket, it was penciled in "nothing". (Meaning that nothing goes there for the thick headed ones) well you probably guesed by now...He had 250 shirts printed up with the word "nothing" on the pockets. That was the new girl's last day working there.A guy recently gavce me his card in hopes of picking up some siding work from me. It said that he specialized in "vynil siding". Was one of those that you print right off the computer and tear apart at the perforations. Those are the cheesiest damn things.There is a heavy equipment company here who's name is "All Erection Crane".Once saw a septic truck (the kind that sucks out the septic tanks) with the name "Honey Dipper" painted on the sides.Pete
*I think "missions statements" are just a 90's thing out of a Dilbert cartoon. Our local school district has the almost same mission and vision statements as an engineering firm I worked for. They're meaningless. Some clerk at these places thinks it's required for...uh, well, for some reason.
*On the side of vehicles for a local trucking co. in Milwaukee, WI - "Hernia Movers - The Potentate of 'Totin Freight".An automotive supply house in Madison, WI, specializing in drive trains had this on the owner's card - "Want the shaft? - - see Dick"
*Allaround's post just reminded me of the old dry cleaner's sign:"Drop your pants here for fast service !"The local trash hauler who's trucks say:"Yesterday's meals on wheels !"And last but not least, one of our local electrical contractors, Sober Electric, which has painted on the back of his truck:"The driver of this truck is Sober, Jules that is!"
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Seen on the side of a truck: " We get it up" Appolo ceilings.
Sign on the door of the evidence room at a police station: "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again"
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JT, I wasnt smart enough to ask!
blue
Ps welcome to the show!
*You guys have some funny stuff!I saw a sign on a beater van; "dang good drywall" company.blue
*On the side of a refuse truck in Denver a few years back: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back!"
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Joseph Fusco View Image
*While the truck of the local septic tank pumper (honey wagon)is adorned only with the company name, the hat of the owner/operator is somewhat more explicit. In bold lettering on the brim reads b Shit Happens.His elderly father, from whom he inherited the business, objected, so he bought a new hat that readsb Shit Still Happens.He's pretty funny for a shit disturber!!-pm
*I once saw a "sod" business who's motto was, "Can't we all just get a lawn" LOL!!Donna
*When I passed my certification by the International Society of Arboriculture to become a Certified Arborist I had new cards printed. The spacing between the letters is too large so the cards read: Tom Dunlap IS A Certified Arborist instead of "ISA". Good for chuckle.My company slogan is "Shrub shoulders with the best of 'em!"Many years ago my old partner were driving down the freeway and I looked over to see a service van for "D.C. Annis Sewer Service". Gary and I thought that was so funny we both got tears in our eyes and were swerving around.I met a guy once who was grinding stumps. He gave me a card but I had to promise not to laugh at his name, Bob Root.A friend of mine is a city forester, Linda Treeful.A plant pathologist, Cindy Ash.One of my climbers, Ron Busch.A buddy who does some very large, technical tree removals using cranes and other rigging, Glenn Riggs.Any other career related names?Tom the Tree GuyIS A Certified Arborist
*An auto radiator repair shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."An auto muffler shop: "Hang one on at Holt's."Rich Beckman
*We've got a plumbing contractor around here called 'Flush Gordon'.I've heard of a combination veterinary/taxidermy business with the moto "Either way you get your dog back!"Cheers,Scott.
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Had a friend who's card said "Slayer of Dragons, Rescuer of Damsels, Evil Wizards My Specialty" - he is a computer programmer.
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As seen on Church Bros. Construction business card(s):
"We take our time and your money."
"We'll get it right if it takes every last dime you've got."
As seen on the CB Electric Van:
"Let us remove your shorts"
*A local drain service has trucks featuring a picture of several playing cards with the caption "a straight flush beats a full house"p.s. very funny ,timely topic here cause I just picked up a new truck 3 days ago and am in the process of having a logo/sign designed for the doors and tailgate.
*A Septic truck ( painted brown ) " The Super Dooper Pooper Scooper "
*Saw a yellow page add that showed a hillbilly looking guy, corn cob pipe, tattered ponited hat, ragged bib overalls held up by one suspender. He was sitting on the limb of a tree, smiling like a half-wit and cutting the limb off...on the tree side. What kind of statement were they trying to make? Confidence...
*There's snobbish decorative driveway company here that props up a sign in front of the current projects, that says, "MADE THE WRONG CHOICE IN DRIVEWAY? WE'LL GLADLY COVER YOUR ASSphalt!"
*I've two favorites. A card, with the fellow's name, and "Wars Fought, Brothels Managed" as his raison de etre. (David T. you out there?)A Septic truck, Company Name with a quote: "There is a Tide in Every Man's Life, Which When Taken at it's Fullest, Leads on To Fortune." -Bacon The idea was purloined from a Bosquet cartoon in Yankee Magazine I believe.
*R-A-I-S-O-N D-'-Ê-T-R-EOK, OK, I'll stop. You picked a fight with a former proofreader!Oh yeah, "its," no apostrophe.
*Go join Mr. Port in the pedantic tent. . . or would that be i pedants tentAnd the "i d'" is always b LOWER CASE-pm
*A used car dealer his adress was on Shaft street
*C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N P-A-I-N I-N T-H-E A-*-*Well, you topped me on pendantry. :)
*Tsk, tsk Typical Yank. . . you can dish it out, but. . . i Pendantry?? Nice proofread!!!-pm
*Nah!!!!"large ducks"
*A business in the upstate NY town where I grew up:C.R. Boring HardwareA barbeque place in Providence RI was on Dyke Street and made fun of it in their radio advertising. Can't remember the name of the restaurant but...
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Not a business card but ont the side of a water well drilling rig & on the 60' boom in big white letters "Your hole is our goal"
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Joseph Fusco
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*OK, not that funny but I do still remember it years later -- Los Angeles topsoil service for "A Clean Deal In Dirt"Note in billing dept of psych hospital "Don't go home mad."
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Here are two I've run across.
A plumber called "Dee-Day" Plumbing
A septic service who claimed to be "#1 in the #2 business"
Dan
*On a take-out store, "no 40 ounce quarts."
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Advertisement flyer at a 7-11, "Learn to READ!"
*A local painter named his business "Budget Quality". I asked him what that meant, was it budget or quality? He just looked at me, didn't see the irony. I told him I thought he was covering both bases.A concrete transit company used to have "Find a hole and fill it" painted on all their trucks.S & M AutoBody has a caricature of a sexy broad wearing leather whipping a dented car with a cat o' nine tails--on a 15' marquee sign.
*I was on the job today, and a guy gives me card. Everything on it is crossed out. EVERYTHING, but handwritten is his name, number, and "Tile Expert"...I'll get back to ya on that...BB
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Hey Jim,
You sure it wasn't Blodgett Quality?
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When 6 months of snow melts up here, a lot of stuff gets uncovered. Several companies specialize in yard cleanup. One has the logo, "We pick up where your dog leaves off".
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How about this one from a funeral director. We'll be the last to let you down.
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In Buffalo N.Y., some relatives had/have(?) a funeral home. . . their family name is Bury (pronounced burr-ee) they made it into Ripley's believe-it-or-not . .
i Bury's bury people.
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Andrew reminded me of my first business card. I was quite proud of it, until I realized that it contained a typo!
It read: "When it comes to quality, we're to stubborn to compromise!"
I'll let the critics find the error!
One of my drunken ex employess started his own business, presumbaly to put me in my place. He called his company: "Johnas and Sons". The problem was; he was young, and didn't have any sons!
Another budding genius!
An ex partner, who had learned his craft in Texas thought he could beat the cold here in MI. His new business card promised a tent over each house he framed!
No, he didn't have a tent! And it would have cost more to erect the tent, than it would have to build the house!
Anyone else got any doosies?
blue
*I sure do know of some winners... but how to post without embarassing anyone?
*I love mottos and think every business should have a mission statement. My favorite motto on a business card came from an Alaskan micro-brew pub. "We screw the other guy and pass the savings on to you". My wife wouldnt let me put it on our cards.JonC
*Blue,Don't know if this qualifies as a doozie or not, but I've always liked one of the local dock builders business card motto. (Names been changed to protect the not so innocent).Kadiddlehopper Marine...erections of all kinds.
*Hi Fellows,Had a local guy that printed a hand out the size of a dollar bill, printed 1/2 to look like a 100 dollar bill and in the same colour put his company name and address on the other half. On the backside he listed all of his products.Folded in four, it looked like 100 dollar bill.He would drop them in restaurants, supply stores etc. People would spot them, carefully pick them up and slip them into their pockets, without saying a word.Later they would check it out in privacy and realise what they had. After the initial letdown, they would remember the guy's information and call to comment on his novel idea ot to use his services.Gabe
*Just double checked, in the Albany,Or phone book, there is a listing for an "STD Construction". What the hell where they thinking. Name recognition maybe?JonC
*Not a business card but still good, about a year ago I was in a Manhattan hardware store. Out front an old work van pulled up with hand painted lettering that said - "Electrical Contractor - Serving all 7 states of NYC" I'm not great at geography but......... I don't think I would let them change a light bulb. I should have asked the guy for a business card, that would have been great to have with that phrase.
*Just remembered seeing an old beater last month with the words "All Tipes of Masonary" stenciled on the side.
*Not seen on a business card (not sure they had any) but the funniest I've seen was these two guys I used to see driving around town years ago in an old battered Chevy van.Hand lettered (by their hand, apparently) on both sides of the van was the "company" name:"Windows 'B' Us"
*Truth in Advertising?