first thing this morning… raise’n a metal overhead door… top panel wheels come off the upper track… panel slams into my head… knocks me to my knees… was about 30 min before the blood made it through my hair and past my ball cap… knew it was too cold for me to be sweat’n when i was wipe’n my forehead off… even then it was another 10 min before i saw my hands and was wonder’n… did i touch some wet red primer? ( we have been prime’n alot of metal with red oxide primer) wasn’t till tonite i got my dad to look at it… told me i’d prob have a pretty good scar if i ever lose my hair… I did cal my wife around lunch told her i’d split my head open… she said “must not be too bad if you can still use the phone”… went on to say… “I know you won’t do anything like go to a doctor… so i don’t know why u bother to tell me…” “last time you put your eye out you came home and laid on the couch for 6 hrs before you told anyone….”
god that woman loves me 🙂
pony
Replies
Country woman slap you silly for being stupid and getting hurt. Then she gabs a pair of scissors and a razor and takes the hair off for a good two inches around the gash.
Then she scrubs it out with a vegetable brush and lye soap while holding your head in a leg lock. You scream and wiggle and she threatens to rip your head off.
And then the fun begins. While your still being held in a leg lock around your head she dumps on the turpentine and stitches you up with carpet thread and finishes the job by slapping on some pine or coal tar. After the scrubbing with the brush you hardly feel the stitching.
You spend a month looking like Larry with a bad haircut after being stitched together by a mortician. Of course it doesn't get infected but it leaves a nice scar.
Same way they stitch up livestock. Which pretty much sums up how country women feel about men.
I came home one day with an inch long ding on my face.
My wife asked how I did it. Told her a wrecking bar pulled off a nail an clobbered me.
Even now she still laughs hard enough to have to sit down.
Everything, 100% of it, depends on how you look at it.
DW
Been there a couple of times. Goose neck bar prying a rusted nail that gives up all at once. Damn near beat myself to death with my own bar. Creased the side of my head, this might explain a lot, and it bleed copiously. I, according to reports, staggered around for some time speaking incoherently. Boss was nice driving me to the ER and home after the six hour ordeal of waiting and X-rays. The doc at the ER pieced it together with a bunch of butterfly strips and a requirement I not go to sleep for 24 hours. I dutifully complied by staying drunk and partying for 36 hours. Younger times. Back when I was bulletproof, wore a lot of shirts with a big 'S' on the chest and was otherwise immortal.Second major time I was on a ladder stripping a form and the wood gave up. I fell back, luckily on a pile of soft dirt, the heavy 4' pry bar, Bert bar by name, bounced once on the top of the ladder and came down chisel point first about 2" short of converting me to a gelding. Spread eagle and stunned all I could do is watch and, as the saying goes, 'embrace the horror'.At the point of maximum relief the tube steel handle, a hefty 1by 2" section, fell forward and whacked me on the forehead. I always thought if it bleed you wouldn't get a 'goose egg'. Apparently not so as I got both. Should have been stitched up but I made do with duct tape and field expedient bandages, an old ripped up tee shirt.Always good to have loved ones who can share a laugh in a time of pain. Very comforting.
Was using a hammer drill one time. Pulled the bit outa a hole, repositioned the machine for another go and heard a "sizzle". The hot drill bit had seared a lovely char-grill mark on my arm.
Wife came home one day to find me painstakingly re-dressing my finger. Radial arm saw tried its best to smoosh it off. I spent 20 minutes in the workshop stomping my foot and swearing plenty before I trusted myself to walk to the house. Once there I applied a great wadge of towel and had a snooze on the lounge floor for an hour.
Met my wife at the airport one time with a leg that wouldnt bend and a bandage. Had driven a stanley knife into my knee while cutting a roll of carpet.
At least it stops a fella from getting bored, right? :-)
Everything, 100% of it, depends on how you look at it.
DW
Apparently it keeps the wife from getting bored too.; )
The person you offend today, may have been your best friend tomorrow
I've lost count of th enumber of times my wife has told the tale of the time i called her and asked, "How would you like to drive me and my finger to the hospital?"
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
I think most us carps do the same thing.
I know I do...the second I get hurt I blow it off and keep going only to feel the pain the next day and forget what happened.
DW hits her elbow walking down our deep steep stairs yesterday and is in shock for five whole minutes crying that she hurt her elbow.....hard to be sympathetic to stuff like that from people with gashes, lashes and bruises and don't even remember how we landed em'.
Be WELL!
a...
The secret of Zen in two words is, "Not always so"!
When we meet, we say, Namaste'..it means..
Yesterday I met my wife and daughter for lunch. I parked my truck and got into my wife's truck with them to go to a restaurant.
After eating I went out to start the truck. Not even thinking about it, I stuck the key to my truck in the ignition and turned. Snapped the key right off.
Called every locksmith in the book none of them could come. Tried everything I could to get the broken key out. While my wife called everyone she knew, Telling them how I broke the key off in the ignition (She really does love me, I think).
Finely after trying every tool in the truck, My daughter dug into her gunnysack sized makeup bag and pulled out a hairpin. I bent about an 1/8th inch of the end back and stuck it in. When I pulled it out the broken key popped out with it.
By this time it was about 5:00 and not enough time to get to the Ford dealer to get a new key for my truck. So I ended up driving a 50 mile round trip home to get my spare key.
Maybe in a few years she will let me live it down (not).
Kipherr
tell her shes lucky too have such a strong husband who is able to open all the glass jars for her. Oh and that you don't know your own strength
Don't let your wife hear you say that or you'll get the "women are tougher than men because we go through child labor" lecture...
After reading all the above, I'm thinking maybe I'm not as dumb as I thought I was this week when I didn't take a pen out of my shirt while putting the shirt on. Somehow the pen went straight up my nose and sorta stuck there for a moment. Hurt like crazy and bled for awhile too. But it really seemed like the dumbest thing I've done in a long time.
D&L
Oh man, too funny.
What a visual.
SanchoRon the caballero bowed low as he waved his sombrero and said goodbye.
FREE SANCHO!!!
Ahh HAa...finally...finally...I DIDN'T do anything dumb today...whew.Ohh wait..I got outta bed..oh well.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
Restoring, Remodeling, Reclaiming The Quality..
Today I was cleaning under my gas fired stove. The blower was on and was cleaning with a damp cloth. Got zapped pretty good. Unplugged the blower kept cleaning realized the blower wasn't what zapped me. Dang. 2 for the price of one.
A long time ago I was nailing the last joist in a floor the joist was twisted put the bottom nail in no problem. Twisting the top into position shot myself in the wrist nail went in through the flat artery and vein filled underside. Thats not the stupidest part.
You know how "they" say not remove such things. Let a doctor do it. That is advice I chose not to follow. Blood everywhere. It only bled for 5 minutes but you would have thought somebody was sacrificed.
I was changing the hydraulic oil in my tractor today, and to make a long story short, I wound up getting a drop of hydrauic oil in my mouth. It's amazing how such a small amount of oil can create such a big taste.
I wisely contemplated calling poison control to see if I was going to die, but wondered if they charged for their consulting. I figure it's a good way to have a legal racket ("Yeah, WE'LL tell ya if yer gonna die... fer $xxx.00!!!"), but I'll be danged if I'M going to die and waste $500.00 or whatever they charge as well! So I decided to take my chances and I'm still alive and $500 richer.
Heck, it was NEW hydraulic oil. It can't get any safer, right?
You aren't going to die.
The person you offend today, may have been your best friend tomorrow
What? He ain't? OJ an 10w 40 is fine..breakfast of champions. Hyd. is really bad w/o tokillya...oops.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
Restoring, Remodeling, Reclaiming The Quality..
You forgot to ask for your $500
Yes he is, just not today
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Yesterday......drove 92.8 miles with a 12ft 2x12 on my ladder racks ....not tied down. You bet I are thankful.....visions keep going through my mind.
Silly boy. Ladder racks are rated for 100 miles ... you had miles to spare.
I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it done the right way.
Ed .....I shall place the said 2/12 in a place of honor and with my Sharpie write your comment and any others on the board as a reminder and shall toast those thoughts with a long neck bottle of real Budwieser.
A cwelebration of that magnitude deserves a long neck of fine bourbon
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
It has been a bad week for extensiion cords at my site!One good looking fifty footer with no visible damage, just quit carrying current. Oh well.Then we had a breaker keep popping, and we were looking for the source othe problem. One of my slightly questionable looking cords that I got out to replace the first was the culprit. I identified this fact by grabbing it to see if it was plugged in right, and did a dance to entertain the crew. My fingers ended uop with a pins and needles feeling that persisted until the next morning. That cord got hung with the first, for replacement of ends, and I called to order four new cords.Then there was the mason's cord.
He called to say he was setting up on siiter and which chimney first? I mentioned to him that if he was going to run his cord across the driveway to heat water and sand, that he should elevate it or mark/protect it in case I had to plow snow.
That night, we had three inches of snow so I plowed first thing in AM, parked and was walking to the front door, when i noticed a bright green cord stretched out and wrinkled in one spot...I took a closer look to see whether I had damaged it or not and saw plenty of bright wound copper...fortunately, the same act that did the damage was pulling it out at the other end, and we keep all circuits on the jobs GFCI protected.
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
You win for dumb & funny.
That would be worth a picture.
My dumb for today was flipping the switch on my insulation machine with no hose attached. Bad place to be standing.
Meant to hit the agitator test switch, but I had the remote in my hand. Instant mess, no blood though.
Joe H
<<<Don't let your wife hear you say that or you'll get the "women are tougher than men because we go through child labor" lecture...>>>You mean cause she lives with me? : )
well....ya have sumpin' there....
Be wahhhhhhhh
a...The secret of Zen in two words is, "Not always so"!
When we meet, we say, Namaste'..it means..
I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides,
I honor the place in you of love, of light, of truth, of peace.
I honor the place within you where if you are in that place in you
and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.
Makes ya feel kinda stupid when she says "What's that, what happened?" and you have no clue.
Just another puncture wound, who knows what happened if it was more than half an hour ago.
Joe H
I was snaking a wire for an outside floodlight, Standing at the top of a 6' stepladder,drilling through a rake board with one of those 5' long flexible dill bits.
I got through the first rafter and was drilling into the second one,had the drill in my right hand and guiding the bent shaft with my left. My helper walks in just as my hair becomes wrapped around the spinning drill shaft. He couldn't see what had just happened or understand why I had stopped the drill and let out a YIPE. I was able to reverse the drill to get myself unwound, when my helper saw the hair on the shaft of the bit whith a chunk of scalp still attached ,I thought he was going to get sick.
I had a bald spot about the size of a baseball for a while, and ever since then we call that drill bit the "hair bit".
thats funny.... really is since when i was about 19 i left a bud to screw off some drywall in a ceiling... some of it had a bit of a bow and if you used your head to hold it up you could screw it tight... (was the second 5/8 layer on a 2 hr ceiling so long screws) anyway he made that long reach off the corner of the scaffle with his legs wrapped arond the corner and reach'n out... somehow the drill wrapped up his hair but not before warp'n it arond the screw and drive'n the screw in... he told me he stayed screwed to the ceiling for over an hour hope'n i'd get back or someone would come help... swears he's bald now because of that deal... after the shock of see'n the blood everywhere when i walked in... and i heard the story... hell i still laugh... if u can't be an A-hole to your friends who can ya be one too...
pony
It is one of the prices I pay for looking like Randy Moss's white cousin.
One time I was framing big timbers holding a timber up from above my left hand holding the weight . Had the nails already started . It was a real hard reach . Swinging the hammer hitting the nail , weights now gettin to me . Started rushing , hit the top of my left pinky , pop like a grape blood everywhere . Grab a rag ask my partner to wrap it and tape it . He looks at it and passes out . True story .
Mike - Foxboro
about a month ago during a repair call, I bragged to the phone service tech from the cable company about my astounding cable modem speed from their company.
And I mean, it was spectacular !
She said "Really ?"
Naturally, the key word here is "was".
About a week later..........
Damn. Dumb as a stump.
carpenter in transition
I did the same thing on dialup.I had great speed. Sometimes downloading at 13.0 to 17.0 and above.(56k modem, normaly "fast" download speeds have always been 2.7 to 3.5.)Guy came out to fix the call waiting-caller id.Said I had the strongest line he had ever seen. (I ran the line out here myself.)I bragged about the download speeds.Couple weeks later... lucky to get even 1.7.....
The person you offend today, may have been your best friend tomorrow
Naah,.. you guys (TIM_KLINE and Luka) are kiddin around aren't ya. You don't really think that a service technician who was handling a service problem you were havingfixed that service problemand then went back to the company they worked for and told the people therethat the service you were getting was too good in another areait needs to be tuned down to mediocre.Doesn't it make a lot more sense that it just a coincidence? I can't believe you guys think that anyone meaning the service technician (unless of course he or she was a sociopath) would go and "turn you in" for something like that. Then if that isn't pretty far out there does it make sense that a utility corporation has a policy in place which is to only give mediocre sub par service? If something is really working well they'll adjust it so it operates poorly? That defys logic.
View Image
ParadigmProjects.com | Paradigm-360.com | Mac4Construction.com
Jerrald,
It was just the way she said "Really ?" with the silence that followed that I knew something was up. I said "you aren't going to tell anybody, right ?"
"Oh, no" she said, followed by more silence and clicking keys.
All of these calls are recorded or monitored. I'm sure she felt obligated to put a note in my file. Heck, they can tell you about a service call you made from 3 years ago.
Anyway, I just happened to be under the radar. I had the service before they really started regulating it. Lately (the last year), my speed tests all ran 9-11 Mb/sec. Within a week or two after the conversation I noticed a change in page loading speed. So I ran the test again, and again, and again. Every time it comes up between 4.7 and 5.3 Mb/Sec. Guess what speed I am paying for ?
5 Mb/Sec
It's just too wierd to be a coincidence. I'm not complaining. It still has to be some of the fastest broadband in the US.
carpenter in transition
It was just co-inky-dink, Tim.
What are you ? Nuts ?
Am I going to have to get the pope on the line ?
Don't MAKE me call the men in the white jackets !!!
Next thing you know, dogs will be lying down with cats, and lions will be shooting pool with giraffes.
View Image
The person you offend today, may have been your best friend tomorrow
I don't think it was a coincidence that the download speeds got turned down.In the case of cable modems it happens from time-to-time. Your speed it determined largely by the boot file in the modem (which is provided by the company). If you have the wrong file your speed could potentially be MUCH higher. Of course, people who work for these companies are supposed to look out for these things and correct them. Best to keep quiet.Don't know what happened with the dial-up though.Last year I didn't know what any of this stuff meant.
DSL is much the same.There is the sync speed controls the max data speed between your modem and the modem at the CO.Then there is the routers that takes the data from the CO modem to the internet. That router has a throtle on it.Often when people change rate plans they only change one and not the other.
Jerrald,Rushing to assume that we are nuts, is kinda nuts when you don't have all the facts.I never said the guy fixed the problem then went back and told the people there.I never said anyone "turned me in", or they have some kind of company wide policy of intentional bad service, or any of the other things you say here to insinuate paranoia. You've built a strawman.The guy who came out here to fix the problem was THE "go-to" guy for this region. He has a "region" that includes the upper west quarter of washington, and part of british columbia.He was called for this one because no one else had been able to fix it.He put a resistor on the line.How do I know all this ?The guy told me himself.He apologized for the resistor but said that he had to put it in the line. They DO regulate service. How else are they going to make a profit ?Next time you want to act as if someone is crazy, get all your facts first... You are good enough at communication that you could have worded that post in a way that was simply asking for the facts, instead of making an insinuation.BTW: This guy was really good. He actually asked me if I had a computer, was online, and what my download speeds were. That's when he told me they would go down, and that he had to put a resistor in the line.
The person you offend today, may have been your best friend tomorrow
Luka, read what I wrote. I didn't categorically assume you guys were nuts. I thought you might be just kidding around and joking with that kind of pseudo-paranoid talk. I did a bathroom remodel project for a client years ago. We were performing just the carpentry sheetrock and tilework. The client owner had the plumber and electrician on their own. Their plumber came in and removed all the existing fixtures and capped the lines. A few days later or perhaps a week later I had one of my guys come in and do the demo. Maybe a day or two after I had that guy there doing the demo the heat went off in their home and a pipe froze and burst over the weekend. It turns out what had happened was the thermostat wire had worked its way loose on it connection where it turned their furnace on and off in a mechanical room next to their garage all the way on the other side of the house. While it looked as though the wire was never really properly wrapped around the terminal I think it just worked it way loose due to vibration from the furnace or was just never tightened down when it was first installed years before.Well the client accused us of sabotaging the furnace so that it would give the plumber more work to do since he wasn't making much money on this job. That made sense to them. What else could it have been. We were there, then the next day their heating failed. It had to be my guy rigging it so that the heat would go off. And it wasn't even our plumber doing the work! It was a plumber they hired and I met for the very first time on their job. But they were probably sure there was a conspiracy among contractors to rig jobs like that to generate work for other contractors.That's just one of the reason I have a had time listening to stuff like you guys were talking about and taking it seriously. It defys rational logic. The other day I had the UPS guy stop by with print cartridges I had ordered. Went I got back to my desk and back to work on what I was doing I couldn't get the program I was working on to print in landscape. Do you think it might have been the UPS guy or was it Epson who screwed up my programming? Or maybe it was the black helicoper that flew overhead?
View Image
ParadigmProjects.com | Paradigm-360.com | Mac4Construction.com
might be a good place for my hospital story ...
coupla years ago .... had to find an opn plug in a customers basement ..
summer time .. I'm wearing shorts ...
move the old fridge ... see an opening ... kick the dirt away with my boot ... Kneel down ... abd find an old broken glass bottle with my knee.
bloods dripping down my leg ... get paper towels and duct tape ... get back to work.
This was at lunch time.
Get home at 5 or so ... still bleeding ... pretty deep .. but still .. just in my "knee skin" ... ain't that all like a big callous?
clean it out ... tape it up good ... it'll stop soon.
around 10 that night ... still gushing blood pretty good ... said ... one more hour ...
then maybe we'll see about stitches.
2 hrs later ... stil bleeding .. so we go to the hospital. Made a point of driving farther into the nice subburbs ... away from the city ... figured a weeknite gunshot victim would get in faster ...
so we check in .. I ask How long .. nurse says .. we're slow ... 30 min or so. OK.
as we take a seat ... about 15 min later ... the emergency doors fly open ... there's paramedics ... and a bunch of old people. Old men and woman ... all dripping wet and wrapped in blankets ... looking like the just hiked thru a snow storm.
Remember ... this is summer ... it's about 90 deg outside.
and they keep coming in .. had to be about 30 old people ... I'm thinking ... what's a bus load of old people doing out ... and did they drive into a frozen lake in the middle of summer?
anyways ... I wait till the excitment dies down ... then walk back to the check in ..
the nurse looks pissed ... I say ... Uh, I'm guessing I'm not next in line ...
... No Sir .. Those Elderly People Need Serious Medical Attention!
Uh .. OK ... I just wanted to know what the wait's gonna be?
...EXCUSE me?
The wait ... before it was 30 min ... I'm thinking more like 3 or 4 hours ...?
...Well, probably ...
OK ... cross me off the list.
...What! U can't Do That!
Uh .. sure I can. I gotta work tomorrow ... I can't be here till 6 am.
she looks at the wife .. the wife just looks back shaking her head ... we all know I'm not waiting ... I told her maybe my wife will be driving me back tomorrow morning after all the blood loss? Anyways ... I'm outta here ...
got home ... taped it as tight as I could ... used extra gauze ... then wrapped that in a big towel so I didn't bleed on the bed.
By morning ... I clotted.
Thatw as a turning point in our young marriage ... she doesn't even question me anymore. I hate waiting in line ... for pretty much anything.
hard to even find the scar now ...
Jeff
Buck Construction
Artistry in Carpentry
Pgh, PA
Under a house tightening up a 3/4" machine bolt and nut thru a big Simpson anchor. Pulling the handle of the ratchet straight toward my face, only position I could really get in to get any leverage in a very confined space. Of course the ratched popped off the bolt head as I reefed on it and I gave myself a perfect knurled ding right in the forehead. I think it's still there.
Working up on the Dempster Hiway, 69, survey crew, road construction, mechanic reefing on a bolt on D8, ratchet came loose dinged him right in the middle of the forehead, deep cut, perfect 1" ratchet scar, Dawson City too far, no stitches, I'll recognize that guy anytime.