Replies

1. 
   Piffin | Jan 21, 2007 08:38pm | #1

   almost everybody on this island is a relative of one kind or another in the trades.

   Good principle is to do businesslike things in businesslike ways. You set the rules. If you would not take on a customer like this, don't bend the rule because he is a nephew.

   if he gets upset, it's only because he's a user. If he agrees, it is for his own good.

   What's he gonna do - quit being your nephew???

    

    

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2. 
   woody1777 | Jan 21, 2007 08:47pm | #2

   Anyone had a similair dilima or can offer any advice of how to elimanate as many potential problems in advance?

   Yes, run for your life! Grow a beard, buy dark sunglasses,change your phone number, dont use your credit cards, etc. Seriously though,  Write it up like any other job. Be SPECIFIC about your obligations. You will provide liscencing, expertise, subs(?) tools etc. for X amount of dollars. He will provide materials, labor, tools etc. Then stick to it. Every question should be settled by reffering to the contract. If he is using your contractors liscence to get a construction loan, does that obligate you personally if the work is not getting done in a timely manner?    My old boss did this same thing for his cousin, without documentation. That was 5 years ago and he is still paying for it.

3. 
   catfish | Jan 21, 2007 08:58pm | #3

   bail now and don't give him anything with your signature.

4. 
   IdahoDon | Jan 21, 2007 10:34pm | #4

   I give some breaks to friends and family, but it isn't giving away the farm.  Decide upfront what you'll give in on and what you won't, then stick to it.  Let them know your boundaries and stick to it.

   Did I mention sticking to it?

   If you are losing a large percentage of the normal profit by allowing purchases outside your normal channels, make sure and determine those loses up front so as to make better decisions about it all.

   Usually, a wheeler-dealer family member is no different from a budget-oriented client when the newness of the project wears off and they think it's appropriate to do things that even most clients won't.

   In the worst cases I won't work T&M, but rather, state in very plain language exactly what is going to happen for what $, and break the project down into smaller independant segments.

   The problem with friends and family is that you either shouldn't (friends) or can't (family) get rid of them if friction developes.  Better off playing it safe and sticking to basics and leave the complicated arangements for other clients.

   Good building.

    

   Beer was created so carpenters wouldn't rule the world.

5. 
   Schelling | Jan 21, 2007 10:52pm | #5

   Good advice by everyone here.

   I have done a couple of projects like the one for your nephew. In one case the owner was doing or subbing all the work and merely needed me to help him get the bank loan. In the other case we were doing the bulk of the work with the homeowner acting as the actual gc for the mechanicals, the timberframe and the painting. In both cases the homeowners had realistic budgets and a track record for reliability.

   How you structure the deal is a lot less important than your ability to assess the individual you are working with.  This is probably no different than any business arrangement but the stakes are a lot higher. I would not do this with anyone that I had any doubts about except on the smallest scale where I wouldn't care if I gave the whole thing away.

6. 
   blue_eyed_devil | Jan 22, 2007 07:41am | #6

   You should be able to do something like this with your nephew. I'd do anything like that for my nephews. They're my nephews for gosh sake!!!!

   I'd want everything written and allocate a very specific timetable such as 10 days to rough it, 10 days to paint, 10 days for interior finish, etc. I built my first house with terms like that and managed.

   blue

   "...if you just do what you think is best testing those limits... it's pretty easy to find exactly where the line is...."

   From the best of TauntonU.

1. 
   bobbys | Jan 22, 2007 08:32am | #7

   I guess itdepends on your nephew, I put my lic and my house up for my son to build his own house, 3 years ago land and house 140 now worth 270, He got a nice jump in life for being 26 now, But he is hard driving and just let me help, Now he can do it on his own, I would have given anything for someone to help me when i started

1. 
   blue_eyed_devil | Jan 23, 2007 05:07pm | #8

   I was thinking along those same lines Bobbys.

   I also have relatives that I wouldn't do anything for. It all depends upon the relative.

   blue"...if you just do what you think is best testing those limits... it's pretty easy to find exactly where the line is...."

   From the best of TauntonU.

1. 
   CAGIV | Jan 23, 2007 06:01pm | #9

    also have relatives that I wouldn't do anything for. 

   Don't we all, and a few in-laws to boot...

   Anyway, I have a cousin similiar to this guys nephew, so I'd set the ground rules out and make sure they were crystal clear... and procede with caution. 

   Worst case senerio I smack the kid up-side the head a few times and we move forward.