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I believe that Kris is the same individual reported below.
Happy @#%#@ Holidays!
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was
getting ready for his annual trip….But there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Clause told Santa that her mother was coming to
visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the Reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy
bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the
liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, ” Merry Christmas Santa!” Isn’t it just
a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn’t it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?
And thus began the tradition of sticking the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Respectfully Submitted,
SteveK
Replies
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I believe that Kris is the same individual reported below.
Happy @#%#@ Holidays!
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was
getting ready for his annual trip....But there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Clause told Santa that her mother was coming to
visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the Reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy
bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the
liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, " Merry Christmas Santa!" Isn't it just
a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?
And thus began the tradition of sticking the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Respectfully Submitted,
SteveK
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Hey Andrew, is this in the Christmas issue of FH? My subscription is a little slow. If
b you
got scrooge, what about, well, I better not say. Gawd, I probably got nominated crackhead elf....
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Well, I finally made it into the magazine clips from Breaktime -- establishing myself as a Scrooge. But who was Kris Kringle, I don't think we ever knew? Well written stuff, very funny. Nah, I guess he couldn't have been any of the contractors here.... ?