What do other builders do to help with stress related to how much work they have and when they need to get it done by?
Discussion Forum
Discussion Forum
Up Next
Video Shorts
Featured Story
Fine Homebuilding is excited to be the official media partner of the 2024 Building Science Symposium series! This event offers builders, tradesmen, architects, designers and suppliers to discuss topics ranging…
Featured Video
Video: Build a Fireplace, Brick by BrickHighlights
"I have learned so much thanks to the searchable articles on the FHB website. I can confidently say that I expect to be a life-long subscriber." - M.K.
Replies
drink
I don't Know what I am doing
But
I am VERY good at it!!
I'll see your one drink and raise you a couple hours at Breaktime
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
I thought the drinking was just because we enjoyed it.And from the peer pressure.That's what happens once you step into the Tavern.
I pity the man who don't drink, 'cause when he gets up in the morning, that's as good as he's going to feel all day.credited to Satchel Paige
grpphoto,
Yea, But when the non drinker gets up in the morning at least he has a chance to be feeling good at the moment he climbs out of bed. ;-)
"Poor is not the person who has too little, but the person who craves more."...Seneca
To cope with stress, I don't sleep. I toss and turn all night long with multiple projects running through my head, over and over again. I rarely ever solve any problems, just come up with more. After about 2 weeks of that,,,,,,,,,, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Wa, wha, what happened???
For good new rock music, click on: http://www.wolfmother.com
golfing.
You can eliminate a lot of stress by beating the snot out of a little white ball.
I wouldn't consider my first few rounds this year as something that helped me cope with stress.
But I agree, now that it's golfing season I leave work most days around 1:00-2:00 and hit the links. I look forward to it, until I start playing. LOL
GOLF!Now you wanna ADD one more thing to the list of all I gotta get done?!?!?!?Where izzat dang ball? I'm gonna KILL IT!
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Just make sure to swing as hard as you can when you try to hit the ball
<G>
"...TRY to hit the ball"Do those little things move trying to dodge the big old club?
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Theoretically, they're not supposed to.
But sometimes I swear that they do.
They also don't listen when being yelled at ( stay out of the water. STAY OUT OF THE WATER!! )
go fishing....Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
Hockey!!
you get to bang around some other folks and it's all "just part of the game" ..as a matter of fact I'm on my way out the door to a game right now! I can feel the stress easing already...
Geoff
That's great! You're just going to re-open the racial debate again.Hockey. The only thing black on the ice is the puck, and there's a bunch of white guys beating the hell out of it with sticks.Kind of makes Tiger Woods ironic.
that what get me. you have to be done in eight months, oh did I tell you the schedule got change its now six months, oh by the way, its five months, with no overtime or extra help.
It was your decision to take on all the work so it should also be your decision to manage your time right so you don't stress out. Do I really need to tell you that stress is the number one killer of human beings?
Set your priorities so you live a happy and healthy life not so you unnecessarily wear your self down.
Hire more help.
or
Take on less work
or stress out.
Your choice....so don't complain.
Or
Complain : )
Be well
Namaste'
andy...
http://WWW.CLIFFORDRENOVATIONS.COM
retire and go fishing...Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
Shouldn't you be fishing??I don't Know what I am doing
But
I am VERY good at it!!
when winter gets out of the way...Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
Raining here._______________________________________________________________
"Man," said Terl, "is an endangered species."
sleet...Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
sleet quit...
snowing now...
gotta hide all that new ice some how...might as well throw another log on the fire and take a nap.....BTW... how's Matt....Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
Rain quit...for now.Matt's OK, going to doc next tues, hopefully will let him start putting weight on that foot.
I'm gonna ask doc why the screws stick out from the bone?_______________________________________________________________
"Man," said Terl, "is an endangered species."
they do???
mine did and they had to be redone....glad he's doing better...lotsa snow now...Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
get home knowing you have done as much as you could do on that day... it's very rare that we can change to any degree anything that has already happened... that was yesterday and... yesterday is gone...
with 100 tenants and one of me... i do the best i can do... today... it might not have been a very productive day but... it was the day i had...
never saw much future in worry'n about business type things.... my kids, wife, parents, friends... yeah... but money stuff... nope...
p
Maybe check out mindfulness, changed my life after I almost cracked under pressure.
http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx
Stress Reduction Program
be changing your perception
Mike
Trust in God, but row away from the rocks.
Kids.
See a smile or hear something funny from them and just let it melt you man.
We're all in the ratrace, but while we're on pit road, we gotta obey the speed limit and all those other rules that keep it clean
Get a hobby. Doesn't matter what it is. I like astronomy and telescopes. It just provides something else to focus on. On days when you can't actually participate in your hobby, you can read about it or study on it or practice it.... depending on what your hobby is.
Exercise is another great thing and probably the very best at relieving stress in a healthy and effective way. My problem with this is that stress makes me physically tired so it's often a struggle.
Try to leave your problems at work. I'm horrible at this, but I know the guys that pull it off are much happier in the long run.
Get a dog. My dog always makes me laugh and he always has 'a good day'. I learn a lot from watching him.
Personally, I don't see heavy drinking as being much of a solution to anything. Using chemicals for dealing with reality is pretty weak. Like the ostrich who sticks his head in the sand thinking that just because he can't see "it", then "it" must no longer be there. Don't get me wrong... I've got no problem with 'recreational use'.... but as a coping mechanism booze/drugs will only compound the problem, IMO.
A good hobby is something that does help.
I started getting into aquariums since about January. Pretty relaxing to hear water running and watch them swim around.
Dogs rule!!
get two!!!After about 5 seconds with my dogs I have forgotten whatever is bothering me..I don't Know what I am doing
But
I am VERY good at it!!
Diesel, you give some good advice.
A word of caustion, however. As others have alluded to, regarding golf, sometimes hobbies and excercise can end up adding other sources of stress. Often, stress-prone personalities have a difficult time simply enjoying recreational activities.
A few years ago, a bit overweight and stressed out from a high-pressure job, I got back into running/jogging. But my nature was to not be content with simply increasing my fitness and losing weight.
Soon I was obsessed with racing and reaching time goals. But no matter how much I was improving, it wasn't good enough. As I reached them, the old goals seemed ridiculously slow. And there were always other, faster people ahead of me.
I got caught up in local rankings. I spent too much time on running and racing Websites and message boards. Scheduling time for track workouts and hill repeats and 20-mile runs became all-consuming ... at the expense of family and career.
And still I remained frustrated by how much slower I was at age 42, compared to age 22.
My main hobby of architectural restoration had a similar effect. The standards I set were too high for me to attain. So nearly every effort was a "failure" in my mind.
So, it's important to keep in mind that stress is more a person's reaction to life situations, rather than the situations themselves. Also, certain personality traits, like tendencies toward procrastination and perfectionism, tend to snowball into overwhelming levels of stress.
Allen
>>>Also, certain personality traits, like tendencies toward procrastination and perfectionism, tend to snowball into overwhelming levels of stress.
Is this a personal observation, or is this something that someone has studied? I ask this as I am afflicted with the symptoms, however I would not describe the stress as overwhelming._______________________________________________________________
"Man," said Terl, "is an endangered species."
Both a personal observation, and something that has been studied. The most common cause of procastination is perfectionism. People often put things off because they fear not doing it "good enough."
When there's a deadline, particularly, the combination of ever-decreasing time and too-high standards (and fear of failure) results in an ever-increasing level of stress.
By having to "rush-through" a job right at the brink of deadline, there is also a sort of "built-in" excuse for not meeting a pre-conceived standard. "Geez, you know I did that in only one day. Most people would spend a week."
Allen
'Both a personal observation, and something that has been studied. The most common cause of procastination is perfectionism. People often put things off because they fear not doing it "good enough."Perfect.That describes every step I take. Even driving to the store sometimes.Everyone tells me I am a pefectionist. I don't do perfect work, but I agonize over it. And when it isn't perfect, I hate for anyone to see it, for fear that they will pick it apart.I always thought much of my procrastination was due to this, especially on my own house, where things will go undone for years. I want to do it once. Right. No mistakes. I get incredibly embarressed when someone notices my mistakes. Think I should hang up the tools. Hopefully I can get over that.
"I get incredibly embarressed when someone notices my mistakes. Think I should hang up the tools. Hopefully I can get over that."
Like most things in life, I believe it's a matter of a striking a balance. Perfectionism can lead to great craftsmanship and wonderful results. But when it becomes an obstacle, then it needs to be addressed and overcome.
It's something I'm still working on.
One symtom I've noticed in myself is a tendency to point out all the flaws and shortcomings in my work. That way people will know that I'm not so stupid and blind to think that it is perfect -- or even acceptable -- work.
In reality, it's usually just minor things that no one would ever notice.
When trying to sell ones work, this trait is definitely not a good thing.
Allen
Edited 4/24/2007 9:59 am ET by WNYguy
I have the same problem. I used to point everything out that I saw, not thinking that I was incredibly more inclined to notice than they were.My wife used to get so pissed at me when I would do that, like I was apologizing to them. She was usually right when she said no one even noticed until I pointed it out.I am not any kind of mechanic, less as I get older. It took me 2 weeks to change the battery in my truck, because I also had to change the connectors. Kept the battery too long, corroded everything.Then, it took another week or two to fix the hoods locking mechanism. It was stuck, so it wouldn't lock the hood down.A simple fix, really, but I had never done it and didn't want to screw it up. Finally, I went out and bought a spine and a couple of testicles and did it.Someone on BT has a tagline from, i believe, Teddy Roosevelt about if someone asks if you can do something, tell them yes and start figuring how to do it.If I don't have all the answers I will usually turn stuff down, which I really can't afford to do, because I am afraid of failing.I have heard people say that you should say yes, and if you can't figure it out, be honest and tell them. To my thinking they would then be pissed that you wasted their time.I do some work for a restoration company, insurance work. it involves a bunch of sheetrock, spackling, and painting among other things. Several of the customers have asked if I do side jobd. They aren't 'side' anymore. This is my business. But they want painting done. MORE painting.That is hardly my specialty, and I have and usually would try to pass on it. And one of them is in a kitchen with tight corners near the cabinets and tiles. I would normally say no. Two WEEKS ago I would have said no. But I need to just go in and do the best that I can. Got to put food on the table. Get tired of the wife supporting me. Like this is a hobbysorry to take so much time and space. Maybe this is like therapy. Just cheaper.Glenn
Tashler,
FWIW I suffer and have suffered from that same exagerated sense of need for perfection. Struggle daily with the "Am I good enough, is my work good enough" Pointing out the flaws in everything I touch and procrastinating over a task that I actually can handle at least as well as others and quite often much better.The good news for you is I have 20 yrs. more in the work force and no one has ever fired me for a bad job, I managed to put food on the table and paid all my own bills all my life. If other search you out to have you do work for them then you are good enough !! leave it at that .
"Poor is not the person who has too little, but the person who craves more."...Seneca
No know exactly what you mean. It's just putting it into practice that is difficult.Ah, someday.Glenn
When I was younger I worked on survey crews, doing property and boundary surveys, a summer with BLM doing section corners, and did highly accurate work all the time.
I went to work for a highway department doing construction stake out for highways. Drove the engineer I worked for nuts, he kept telling em we weren't building pianos, and showing me how accurate the operators and equipment weren't. I was getting every thing perfect, but burning a lot of crew time. First two projects it didn't matter. The contractor would usually take a month or two to get mobilized once the job was bid. So, we got there well ahead of the dirt crew and had time to get every thing right.
Third project, bid on a Thursday, the contractor was already doing a project so the paper work went through fast, Notice to Proceed was issued the next Tuesday, and the Contractor said he wanted to start clearing and grubbing on Monday.
Worked the crew dawn to dusk, through the weekend, did calculations till about midnight, and slept on the floor of the office. We got the staking in so the Contractor could start Monday, but it wasn't nearly as accurate as I always tried to get it.
Monday morning the Engineer asked me if I had it ready for the contractor. I looked him in the eye and said, "It just a road, the cars will be able to drive down it, and not bump into each other, or fall off the side, so it's close enough." And, sure enough it was. I've been a lot more relaxed about things ever since.
What a thread! I see a lot of myself and/or my business partner in these posts. He has a tendency, one that I had at first, but caught on quicker, to 'confess' to the customer everything we saw as a problem. "I don't like the way that joint met on the corner." The customer could care less, but now they'll notice it forever.I soon picked up that this wasn't helping business. My partner's personal perfectionism in the field still slogs him as he's older than me and its a more ingrained habit, but not as much as it used to.Bosshog's statements about jumping to please the customer really hit home. I am a people pleaser, I think women are trained to be that way very early in life and its a hard habit to break. Want it done today, this hour, right now? Stand on my head? Cut my rate? Sure! You're not happy, well of course its my job to fix you! That said, I just backed out of complicated project a month ago where the people started getting very demanding and unrealistic and instead of bowing to them to get the project, I held my ground and told them to find someone else. And it wasn't easy either, I think I paced the floor for days on that decision. A kind of decision many people I am sure make easily. Needing to meet one's basic needs has a way of pushing one to resolve their personal barriers to achieving that end.
Just did a restoration job on a 100 year old building, and was constantly hounded by the community association for taking so long.(100 year celebration coming up)
Architects report came in yesterday, said work was done on time, and work was exemplary. Ha!
Remember this. In 5, 10, 50, 100 years nobody's going to see that it took you an extra 5 minutes to finish something. They're only going to see that you did a good job.
...because I am afraid of failing.
Thing that works best for me is to simply start whatever it is--quit thinking about it and just do it. Once I get started it's easier to keep going. Kind of a sink-or-swim approach.
We have a couple of kids at the gym who tend to think too much--psych themselves out. "You get 4 bounces and then throw the trick. Otherwise it's 50 situps,"
Recognize that you can fix most mistakes--very few things in life that can't be fixed. Even serious mistakes--drugs, sex--are generally recoverable--just harder than the garden-variety cutting-something-too-short type thing. We tell our own two kids this regularly.
Get tired of the wife supporting me.
Why?
Kathleen
Why?Probably that cursed male ego.I was being kind of humourous as I am really not able to take any money yet.But really I guess it's just the way I view my role in this partnership.
I'm the protector, the hard worker. So when I'm home more often for whatever reason, or she makes the large majority of money, I feel like I'm not holding up my end.But I'll keep trying.As long as I keep being tall, dark (well, gray), handsome, suave, and debonair, I've got her with me.
"Maybe this is like therapy. Just cheaper."
Glenn, I've posted examples of quite a lot of my work here, and I have to fight the urge to point out my flaws and mistakes. I still do if I think it might help someone else, or lead to feedback that will help me do better next time. But generally, by trying to be positive about my own work, I'm using the "Breaktime Therapy" concept, too.
But frequenting Breaktime also illuminates another potentially stress-increasing trait. I have to fight the tendency to feel completely unskilled and inadequate when seeing all the stellar work that's shared here. It's easy to compare oneself only to the "McDesigns" or "theslatemen" or "StanFosters" of the world, and discount ones own skills.
The key is to keep learning, and stay positive and productive.
Allen
It's a bit of a relief for me to read your posts. I have and do the same thing. "yes, the jobs perfect, now if I could just draw your attention to this ackward detail I had problems designing and now that I have it done, I can see what I should have done to overcome BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Could we be any stupider?
Another symptom of being a little too wrapped up in what your doing. I'm still trying to learn to leave well enough alone.
A kind of related problem is turing a job over to someone else and letting them do it their way, even if you'd do it differently. Your natural tendency is to hover over them, instructing them on every move.It's taken me years to SORT OF learn how to define a job (talking computer stuff here mostly, but occasionally a job in volunteer construction work) in a way that gives the other guy reasonable flexibility do do it his way while still assuring the result will be what I want.(Of course, then I discover I gave the other guy TOO MUCH flexibility and he doesn't know where to start. Ah, well!)
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for everything one has a mind to do. --Benjamin Franklin
Actually, an awful lot of procrastination is due to ADHD. Many ADHDers find they can ONLY function efficiently under stress, when the pressure provides focus.
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for everything one has a mind to do. --Benjamin Franklin
When my eigth grade teacher signed my yearbook, she named me "The Worlds Greatest Procrastinator." For the last 45 years, I've been thinking of proving her right.SamT
Praise the Corporation, for the Corporations' highest concern is the well being of the public.
That's a good point.
Allen
I read a book years ago to reduce stress, to help me deal with an almost crippleing problem. I'd hit a bad patch in my life, as happens sometimes, and I found some of the advice helpful.
I not a fan of self-help books, usually have to sift through alot of nonsense to get 1 or 2 ideas. But in this situation, I needed it and found some good ideas. One that I still follow is, if you have a undesirable chore, do it first, it tends to make you more productive for the rest of the day.
I can't remember the title of the book, but I'm sure there's lots out there. Stress is a mental thing you create yourself, get on top of it and stay there!
If all else fails
drink
golf
B.T.
I didn't mention it before cuz I think too many folks here think its hokey but I meditate...and it works.
Here's a guy you can look into...I spent a week with him last year up at The Omega institute. The reason I'm giving you his name is because he doesn't really attach any spirituality to it...you can do that on your own if you want.
I first learned meditation from Ram Dass decades ago..he's the ol' boy that got me so involved in it but this guy actually teaches medical practicioners and I was lucky to find a workshop that allowed someone other than a professional health care worker in cuz thats usually all he allows.
A real great book to introduce you to meditation is called "Where Ever You Go, There You Are" and "Full Catastrophe living". I'd recommend WEYGTYA first cuz Full Catastrophe Living is a really heavy one to start out with!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Kabat-Zinn
Be well
Namaste'
andy...
http://WWW.CLIFFORDRENOVATIONS.COM
Edited 4/24/2007 8:52 am ET by andybuildz
Andy,
I read that book (WYGTYA) several years ago and was able to implement some of the techniques to reduce my stress when flying.
Recently, I heard that the author (JKZ) had been working with medical patients to manage their pain and he was having good results helping people learn the technique of "mindfulness". I thought a Univ. had given him a research grant or clinic or something.
I'm sure it is still the minority opinion, but I think the technique is gaining wider acceptance.
Recently, I heard that the author (JKZ) had been working with medical patients to manage their pain and he was having good results helping people learn the technique of "mindfulness". I thought a Univ. had given him a research grant or clinic or something.<<<<That's always been mainly what he does. He works from a hospital in Boston and has been given lots of grants. He's also worked with teams during the Olympics that come to him for mindfulness workshops/stress reduction.
I think he calls it stress reduction because people don't buy into "meditation" very well and that's really 100% of what he teaches in a more palatable way for the more conventional folk. I highly recommend him to anyone looking to cut stress in their lives and don't really know the practice of meditation. When I took his workshop last year it really wasn't anything new to me at all but it was interesting to watch all the newbies becoming dazzled with the results they were getting. The cool thing too was...most of them were doctors, psychiatrists and RN's that were at his sold out workshop of over 500 people that spent a week there. I sorta felt out of place...lol. Everyone was so conventional...LOL.
If you really like this kind of thing after reading his books or attending his workshops I'd suggest finding other books by people ytou relate to that use meditation. When you can make it more a part of your lifestyle it becomes a lot easier to do the practice every day.
Most people think it's easy and thats the furthest thing from the truth.
I dare anyone to try and sit for even ten minutes and shut their minds down from "everything" other than listening to their breath.
I usually do 45-60 minutes every night but I've been in the habit for quite a while now so....
http://WWW.CLIFFORDRENOVATIONS.COM
2 years ago I took a Mindfulness course based on Cabot's model through Kaiser when I was experiencing insomnia resulting from stress. The class included a mix of people with serious medical situations and a few just looking for growth. Our textbook was Full Catastraphe Living.
I never hesitate to advise this class to anyone, it changed my life.
There is a link to their home in the 17th post of this thread. Mike
Trust in God, but row away from the rocks.
Laugh!!!!! works every time!!!
Stress is definitely part of my job. About 2/3 of the jobs are done without too much of it. But the other 1/3, people act like it's some life or death crisis if they don't get what they want.There are a couple of things that work for me. First is that I've learned to say "NO". (politely) I can't drop everything I'm doing and work on every last thing that everyone drags in here at the last possible moment. Seems to me that to do so only invites more of the same. If you accomodate every customer that waits until the last minute to being in something they need done, they're gonna learn that as the way to get things done. So you're just gonna get more and more of the saem treatment in the future.Customers who wait until the last minute and hear: "Sorry - I just can't get it done that quickly" will EVENTUALLY learn to get you stuff sooner. Like it or not - You're training your customers one way or the other.One small thing that I've done is to start writing things down. If someone askes me to get something done but I can't start on it right then, I write it down and try to forget about it for the moment. That way I'm not trying to keep too many things in my head.I also have to tell myself: "Nobody's gonna die if they don't get their trusses or bid when they want". I can't live every day under constant "crisis management"..At home, I have to put a lot of effort into blocking work out. I've learned that I can't make just one decision to block work out - I have to do it over and over, every time I find work stuff creeping back into my head. DW used to push me to talk about work when I got home. But I found that I was only re-living everything that happened that day, and it made it harder to get it out of my mind. I think we've finally reached an agreement on that - She doesn't ask for specifics anymore.Wich I cuold say that I handle stress well. I don't, but I'm learning and getting better about it.
Ambiguous headline: Teenage Girls Often Have Babies Fathered by Men
>>>>>>>>>>>I also have to tell myself: "Nobody's gonna die if they don't get their trusses or bid when they want".Best advice given so far. Only I don't tell myself that. I tell the ahole that's yelling at me that.http://grantlogan.net/
Kick the dog, beat the wife, gamble, drink, do drugs -- whatever works.
pet the dog kick the kids..............................Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
you know what relaxes me, welding, get under the hood and dont think about nothing but the weld. Crank up the machine and burn some rods.
For me it's cycling. I don't know what it is, but after ten minutes you totally stop thinking about other stuff. You think when you start out on a trip you'll mull some things over, but somehow the mind focuses on the here and now (and how far is it to the top of the next hill), and everything else is wiped away.
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for everything one has a mind to do. --Benjamin Franklin
cycling works for me too.
usually, everything fades away within the first 15-20 min. Even when I am really stressed about work or life in general, 30-40 minutes into a 2 hour ride and I forget what I was stressed about.
Problem is, after one hour I forget I have a job, after two hours I forget I have kids, after three hours I forget I have a wife.
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable Creature, since it enables one to find or make a Reason for everything one has a mind to do. --Benjamin Franklin
I'm lucky. Married a girl who likes to ride, and we got no kids.
Who wants to remember that you have a job anyway? ;.)
"Problem is, after one hour I forget I have a job, after two hours I forget I have kids, after three hours I forget I have a wife."
Ahh, yes. I know what you mean. Cycling is for me, also, perhaps the most stress-relieving activity. It's always been just a healthy hobby, as I never got competitive about it (well, after a couple time trials, I knew I wasn't competitive at it!).
Pushing a good pace with my brother or my son is fun, and a leisurely ride with my wife is wonderful, too. But a few hours out on my own, enjoying the countryside, is probably the most pleasurable and stress-relieving.
I figured this thread would be bumped into the Tavern by the time I got back home today.
Allen
Another vote for cycling. I've gotten into recumbents the last five years. http://www.bentrideronline.com They're so comfortable that, after a good warm-up, it's just like sitting in a recliner and watching the scenery go by.
Of course the stress related benefit comes from the aerobic work out. Although tradesmen do a lot of physical work, we don't often get our heart rate and breathing up very high. Cycling is a very pleasant means to get in regular aerobic work outs.
I'm also a long time believer in taking one day off each week, every week. A day with no work related anything. Just knowing that day is mine makes the rest of the week much more bearable. And actually getting out for a long ride can be like several day's vacation.
Volunteer work can help by putting things in perspective. If you work with people with big problems, yours don't seem too bad.
It helps to "clock out". Have a certain time of day you are done. No worrying about work when your attention should be elsewhere. I have a bad habit of working in my dreams or waking up worrying about something. I tell myself that I have clocked out for the day.
Several times a day, people will ask you how you are doing. Make a conscious effort to always answer that question with "FANTASTIC!" and say it like you mean it. Just that small thing can change your whole outlook on life.
Never beat yourself up over things that you can't change.
We have no control over the weather. Make hay when the sun shines, and fertilize when it rains.
Nobody is perfect. The first fault you should get rid of is criticizing yourself. Set out to be honest in word and deed and let any other faults fall where they may.
And last but not least, if nobody is dying, it isn't important.
I don't build full time, but on many days I go straight from the office to do a job. Weekends are pretty much jam-packed as well. If, by chance, I'm not working on other houses, I work on my own place.
I haven't managed to figure out how to sit down and relax yet, but I do find that some days, no matter how excited I am to put on the toolbelt, I need to quit early because I get mentally/physically tired, or just plain frustrated.
Yet, no matter how sick of the project I get by day's end, I am always ready to go again the next day. I can't quite figure out why that is, but I guess it must mean I like building...
Justin Fink - FHB Editorial
Your Friendly Neighborhood Remodelerator
Listen to the news on the way home to hear how much worse other peoples days were........walk the dog.......drink a beer.......drink another beer.........take lots of deep breaths.....
I'm with DeiselPig. (hope I spelled that right)
Exercise, (canoeing)
Hobby, (play music, proselytize about green building)
Kids (two girls)
Pets (Horse, sheep, chickens)
Don't use Booze or Drugs as a coping mechanism.
But in the end you just have to make lists of the things that are keeping you up at night and do what it's going to take to get them all crossed off by the time the deadline rolls around.
"Best way to deal with your problem is to solve it"
------------------
"You cannot work hard enough to make up for a sloppy estimate."