So do any (many) of you guys discuss your business with your wife, girlfriend or whomever your SO may be? Or do you keep that out of your relationship?
And I just know someone is going to respond “I don’t talk about it with my wife but I do with my girlfriend!” 🙂
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Replies
Yes ,we go through the how was your day and we both discuss our work. My job tends to be more "colorful" at times so I would say I do most of the yapping.
She tends to be suprised about all the goings on in my trade.
I go so far as to run bids by my wife. She catches math mistakes. Being that my business can have such a big impact on family life, I have to include her on a lot of it.
Mike,
I'm just starting out on my own and screwing up everything, but I hate talking about it with my wife. She keeps talking down to me and I've never taken to that.
Then she gets pissed that I talk to my friends about business. It escapes her that they are also in this business themselves.
Has she ever done any type of home improvements? Has she ever run a business? Nooooooooo!
Oh and by the way, while I do love her, my wife has made me never want to have a girlfriend.
Even if I were single
I don't feel it's worth the hassle half the time.
Case in point: I have pneumonia. What did I hear for several days?
'What do you have planned to do for work tomorrow?'
You mean after I spend an hour coughing up a lung?
My buddies said I was angry before when I was single. I guess relationships just give you a better reason.
But I wouldn't trade her for anyone else. She has too much dirt. And she makes more money.
when I mention anything about work to my wife she gets the distant stare and reply's with the "oh yeah?". She is not interested as far as I can tell. She does keep track of all the household finances and I am greatful for that. I just cut a check to the houshold acount and that's where my involvement stops."it aint the work I mind,
It's the feeling of falling further behind."Bozini Latini
I had the same problem with my wife. I do not discuss all of the down sides of the business anymore. She tries to talk me into a "real" job all of the time.
DW and I both work "in" the business all the time and "on" the business when we make time. We have to make an effort to stop talking business.
My wife is really the wheels on the wagon.
1.She pays out what needs to be paid.
2.She meets with the accountant, insurance agent.
3. Reminds me that guy owes this much. I forget about some smaller amounts. She doesn't forget a penny.
4. Cashes checks, makes deposits.
She is the only reason I am on the jobsite 10-12 hrs a day everyday. If she didn't do what she does I could see only being on the site 5 days a week including Saturday and Sunday.
I hope she doesn't read this, she'll want a raise.
Thoughts determine what you want,
Action determines what you get
I think we married the same woman! ; )
However, we do not usually talk about day to day operations and stuff. We do have the talk when we get home about how was your day. I too, have the more "colorful" job so I tend to do more talking.
Big ditto on the " is ___________ going to give you a check soon?" or "we need to pay ________ on the 15th, who are you going to go and collect from?"
Hey.......... what was her phone number?
Hey.......... what was her phone number?
867-5309
As far as talking about biusiness with my wife it is not often. Month to month just give her a general idea. Once a year sit down and go into a bit more detail. Our strategy, problems, issues, how we are handling it, etc.
One thing she really opened my eyes on is relationships. 11-12 years ago she ran a division of our business. We would share contractors. Call me for the debris haul off, call her for the Final Clean. Pretty soon she was asking me, do you know Bob is doing this and this? I'd just have to say no, he never talks to me.
She is a phone person. Really great at it. Me? no. LOL but I'm working on it. Really have tried in the last 10 years to work on relationships with the contractors. I ask her advice all the time about how to approach one, or deal with problems or concerns.
Took me a couple minutes but I knew that phone no. looked(sounded) familiar! <G>
Doug
<<I hope she doesn't read this, she'll want a raise. >>I just did give my wife a raise, and she's started working a lot more hours... And it made my accountant happy...And it's good for the family income.I married, and hired, (not in that order) my favorite architect. I have to be careful how I ask her to do things, and she is a pretty stubborn girl, but she has the most amazing "people radar." And she gives me some great designs to build.Most of our travel is construction education or architecture related, and we're both pretty okay with that but sometimes it feels like we never take a real vacation. And if I'm stressing out about work she feels it worse than I do. It's a good thing I served on a non-profit board for ten years before I married her. Working with a spouse is in many ways like working with an enthusiastic volunteer, she knows I'm not going to fire her if she doesn't put in enough hours and I pretty much have to assign her to do the stuff she likes to do. (I did fire my teenage daughter a few years ago. And she went right out and got another job at higher pay.)As far as understanding that her kids come before her job I am probably as sympathetic a boss as she could have.------------------
"You cannot work hard enough to make up for a sloppy estimate."
My wife is my best salesperson. Everything I do is through word of mouth and about half of my customers come from someone she knows.
“The richest genius, like the most fertile soil, when uncultivated, shoots up into the rankest weeds..†– Hume
I've only been married about 4 months, but we started dating in 1984. She left her job about a year ago and hasn't worked since. I did make her President of one of the two building corporations for whatever that was worth.
We've been talking about business stuff more and more lately because we both have a vested interest in where the money comes from. Right now funds are tight. It's difficult for me to talk about it. I've done this essentially on my own for 7 years and worked somewhat with my Dad as a partner for a while before that. I have a hard time explaining what I am doing and why - I do not like to have to justify my conduct. But, we are married and that means we are a team - at least in theory. :-)
I don't think it is possible to keep it out of your relationship unless there are lots of other things to talk about and the business is running super smooth.
Don K.
EJG Homes Renovations - New Construction - Rentals
Sort of. She's so far removed from what we do that it's her understanding that we leave in the morning only to sit around sipping margaritas, playing poker, watching football, and whatnot before tossing a little sawdust on ourselves before coming home at night. The idea that it's possible to work enough to actually be tired on a day off is foreign as well.
Once that hurdle is crossed I'd consider talking about other things, but that's not something I'd bet on.
:-)
Beer was created so carpenters wouldn't rule the world.
So do any (many) of you guys discuss your business with your wife
NO cause then I'd have to listen to her talk about her business and I dont want/care about it.
Doug
My wife IS my girlfriend
She participates actively in our business.
She is TERRIBLE at managing money so I keep her right out of that part of it. She used to be so proud of the fact that she gave me ALL her income. Signed those checks right over to me! Yep, gave me a $250 paycheck and a total of $800 of bills and credit card stememnts..
but she is amazing at reading people. If she even hints at staying away from a certain potential customer, I have learned to listen.
And I consult her on design work - especially kitchens and general layouts. She does colours better than I also.
I she could learn money and wean me off Breaktime, we would be millionmaires..
;)
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"Yep, gave me a $250 paycheck and a total of $800 of bills and credit card stememnts.."i think your wife and mine are using the same accountant . . . .
My wife has a black belt in shopping you should see what she does with a credit card I dont talk to her about the financial side of business because she cant handle it when she hears that someone owes us money but other than that its good to have someone to exchange ideas with Im married 28 years and have been self employed most of that time We have 3 kids grown up now and as well as raising them she is always ready to lend a hand. So I would say keep the conversation going ..... anyone know what to do about the shopping?
O thought after I sined off this morning that gee, if I could turn 250 into 800 every month, I'be as rich as Mooney!;)_So maybe she knows more than she lets on...There is a tremendous lot of truth to what Mooney says here. My fi4rst marriage was the biggest financial disater I can imagine, My wife had the same problem in her first..
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87185.28 in reply to 87185.20
O thought after I sined off this morning that gee, if I could turn 250 into 800 every month, I'be as rich as Mooney!
;)_
So maybe she knows more than she lets on...
Im gonna bite on that good natured joke as a tribute to my wife .
I dont make a lot of money but I do make some easy money and I dont spend much which produces bottom line. It was never my idea. It was hers and bless her for it at my age and health for thinking about it when she did and talking me into it .
One of her personal keys to management is "hands free success" .
The farmer said it when he proudly told me about his cows. He said you need somthing making you a living while you are sleeping .
The crop grower told me he rejoiced when it was raining with him sitting inside the house watching it .
You successful contractors can do it with skilled crew leaders and super subs that can take a job right on while you manage 5 different jobs with out worry. They show up and perform making a contractors life easiar . Then with business and people skills it can be one fine oiled machine for the contractor . Pleasing home owners can be as regular as eating light bread . Ive witnessed it but Ive never been able to pull it off . There was a day I was a super sub, but never surpassed it . Looking back I know now why and DW saw it crystal clear when she got me and turned it around. With her I switched carreers completely but never left the trades. What I did best was run work not deal with people . She saw it immediately. I went commercial work where I never saw a home owner and tripled my out put in a year increasing my income 5 times with a much bigger crew. If I had stayed residential I would have failed plain and simple with home owners. Thats what I meant by playing the best hands and discarding the weak ones . Residential contractors would not pay commercial scale and they didnt have the volume of work so we decided to discard them , no offense. I was more a man that gave orders not one that took them so I wasnt a salesman. Being truthful about strenghs and weakneses is the first step to changing to a winning plan and getting off losing hands . You dont have to play them if you know better.
I reminded her more of a cop that gave out the rules which helped being a BI. Fair but stern . I made a comment about cleaning out a house . I would do it but I would bill it . I meant it . While that comment wasnt so popular with builders it was a fit to being a landlord. It was a fit negotiating properties where I wasnt selling anything . I would pay this much and thats it . No apologies . If my offer is insulting then its them that has a problem not being able to handle it . I can make another one . It doesnt bother me making what they might think is an insulting offer . That type of person is not a fit for too many jobs ! I dont qualify for them having my personality. I deal with numbers because dealing with people is a very weak hand for me if Im trying to sell them somthing . My properties sell themselves . Thank goodness they dont need me .
That was a wife directed plan. Shes a COO of a plant. Shes a professional at business plans. Sometimes I wish she was a realator but she is not . Shes 100 percent management . She did her best with me . She just didnt have much to work with to begin the job. Weve all been there . I hope that helps someone realize their own weakneses and stengths to winning hands.
Tim
Wow!
Makes me want to sit and write all my wifes good quality's.
Maybe we all should.
JeremyThe bad news is you've done exactly the right things to be exactly where you are today.
"IdahoDon 1/31/07"
do it .
Re- remind you of her qualities writing them down.
Tim
Too Dam Bad she can't be cloned is all I can say ...
'-)
Well I did give her a tribute and hold her up.
I didnt say she was easy to please and live with. Having high standards certainly has its drawbacks . She came in and sat down just prior to me writing this post . She outlined in depth what else I could be doing right now . Now shes making work plans for tomorrow when most people are off . Im gonna have to retire to the basement to watch the Arkansas / Cal ball game . Theres nothing for her to do down there . Shes doing taxes at 8 pm right now . She started at 6 am and wont wind down till 10, so be careful what you ask for .
Tim
Tim
She did her best with me . She just didnt have much to work with to begin the job.
I never tire of reading your posts! I think you might be selling yourself a little short her but God bless ya for it.
I dont know if you've ever mentioned it but when did you start buying rental property? I read that you have been married for 14 or 17(dont remember the exact #) years, did you have rental property before the mariage or was that something the both of you decided on?
Doug
Id have to guess to be accurate.
Ive had her going on 16 yrs not 15.
I changed from residential to commercial right after the wedding bells .
Just by getting married we doubled our income as we had both been the bread winners before in another life as she calls it . We sold her house as soon as we were married and that money got us started buying and selling . 10,000 dollars was the equity we started with like 15 years ago. We both had small amounts in the bank so Im not counting it as you have to have some to pay bills . I had an old paid for truck and some tools . Nothing really. I had no property at the time after a divorce. She lost two pieces to her exhusband as well. A house and a trailer . They had both of those as their start up rentals. So she already had game on rentals before she met me . She had studied rental property as a sister business to one that would be bread winner to it at the start . So nope , I take no credit there . She knew all those numbers. Taxes , appreciation, depreciation, odds on the money, returns. etc. She had two rentals and saw problems with the physical side of making that part run. Shes a numbers pusher but it stopped there .
I was raised by a building contractor which was also a single parent . I got to do it all in a small town in rural state Arkansas . We brought houses out of the ground to finish with the same crew. That doesnt mean anything except to remodeling now becase its not feasible to build that way now . Subs are so efficient and fast now its a different industry that the do it all tradesmen are getting lost . Interest rates are so high that we cant fool around building now so subs dominate the building trades. However the knowledge has been a great asset to flipping and rentals even if its old school education. I built some specs and some rentals the old way and it didnt turn good numbers. I built some custom houses too . I tried every thing I knew to try and nothing produced good numbers except the rentals and the flips . I nearly lost my butt on a custom house . The old "I hope they pay me " wasnt for me .
All the time up until I got sick though I was a sub. The other stuff was sidelines compared to doing sub work. I had a heart attack two days after I had finished the drywall in a mall. I was scheduled to do the drywall and painting on a detention center 150 miles away and I had plans on my desk bidding a school remodel doing the painting . If it wasnt for her I woud not have been doing those jobs as she did the paper work and requested my state lisense . She did that , not me . She sent in a bunch of stuff like financials , bond , insurances, WC, etc. I was running work. All I did was get the jobs done which is basically what we all do , so its nothing extra on my part . She got me playing better hands .
After I had two heart attacks and a stroke I was pretty well disabled in a six month stretch . The city hired me to be BI that same year . Somehow that year the rentals held together with out very much physical work. Thank goodness .
The rentals paid te hospital bills and some income during that time for the first time ever as they had always been a piggy bank. Now they are my part of our income . When we need some extra money we buy and flip one .
We invested some great income into some flips to end up in the house we have now . Thats when we were doing all the moving . Got hit hard on income tax so Im gonna guess the first rental came around 13 yrs ago somewhere but we were flipping right through it . We were still selling properties we should have kept in the beggining . This pargraph some how got below my typing and should have been above .
Shes been beside me through it all doing her part and more. We flagged corners Sat on a mountain side getting ready for a dozer tomorrow to open up a view . She saw a cave in the bluff below her and went down there to check it out . She found bear sign and climbed back up. I couldnt make the climb down there . She scaled the mountain pretty well. Today we marked trees on the upper portion and marked out the the new road to be built to the lots on top. I was real disapointed she didnt cook supper tonight . <G>
Tim
U forgot to add in there somewhere that yer Goofy too!
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
I think somethings are a givin!
Doug
My wife is pretty much my business consultant. She's got a masters which makes her real good with numbers (she can do numbers in her head that I need 2 calculators for) and strategy, but she hasn't a clue of which side of the hammer to use. So yes, I talk to her about certain aspects of the business but it's a waste of time talking about processes. and since the money I make is part of the collective 'our' money I include her in money all of the money aspects, as 'fun' as that may be.
We talk about our days, and sometimes I'm having a tough one and I need to vent.. and, she doesn't really get all of it, since she's not a heating nerd like I am, but she listens and on the less technical aspects she has some feedback. she's a good "active listener", even if she doesn't care at all ;)
But, this is my business, with my partner. I didn't start it with her, or my partner's wife, or vice versa. So they can speak their mind, and that's fine, and sometimes it's helpful... but he and I are making the decisions, period. And I can't apologize for that. Sometimes she'll get mad at something... like the size of the christmas bonuses we give our employees or something... and that's just too bad (my partner's wife does the same thing too).
We work together on our house finances, entirely together (monthly budget, have to agree to break it, etc.. thank you Dave Ramsey, best book I ever read for my relationship), and we do what we need to do there, but there is a very definite line regarding the level of control I'm willing to give anyone over this company outside of the people who are actually in the company, and that line is at zero. I love her dearly, but when you're outside of the daily operations it's just numbers and dollar signs. I have people working here to think about, clients to think about, my partner to think about, and the way I want to do business to think about too. And I will not go to bed feeling guilty over a decision someone else pushed me into, ever.
Lucky for me, she understands. It's tricky sometimes though.
Picking a wife is the biggest financial decision a man will ever make .
Picking a husband is the same for a woman.
Theres so many things to say about my quote above of what I have found to be true . Ive gained an overwhelming respect for women through the process.
Women often laugh about picking a man is like a box of choclates as not knowing what they will get .
Well , no doubt its a gamble , but it can still be a percentage decision.
Picking a female mate is the biggest poker like gamble you will ever make. Maybe the same for a woman.
Someone once said about running a race compared to a divorce . Its not much of a race if you lose your leg before the finish line .
I believe that marriage should be united into one from two people . That, in my mind should form a team from strengths of the two people . Those are the cards that need to be replayed over and over to create winning hands for success .
Another quote that I live by is that a dollar saved is the same as a dollar earned in the bank. Once the dollar is resting in the account there is no difference in its being .
So the same as gaining strengh in a relationship. As long as a realtionship gains success , individuality is lost. It should be a team effort with what ever the partners have to offer .
On some subjects one of the partners may have little to offer while they may stand strong at other things. One partner may need to take up all the slack in that area while resting in another area knowing fully well it will get handled by the other . . I believe if both partners are weak in the same area , those are smartly discarded hands to be played. Only play the strongest hands and that comes from experience. Once you are failing in an area its time for an alternate game plan. IN this thread the answer to your question is all of the above for you to decide for your business including your mate.
To share a small personal view of my self , I credit my wife most of the time and tell her . I hold her up although I see her faults as I know my own. Im sure she has a better view of me than I do myself. Still I feel we picked a plan where we are suited pairs. Suited pairs win 50 percent of the time . She does her part always and I work to handle mine . If she had a better partner she could really go. <G> At what we picked we both realize we would not have arrived there with out the other one and that statement has stood truth for 15 years. We picked the business from our strenghs. I got somthing right when I smoothed talked her into taking up with me. I dont have a clue what she was thinking .
Tim
Nicely said Mooney.
We all need to think about whether unwillingness to talk to DW is a reflection of not knowing ourself how the business is going.
Except for technical stuff, if thats the reason maybe we need to spend more time looking at the P & L & Balance Statement aspects of our business.
Course then there is the story of one of my ex bosses.
His bookkeeper embezzled 100 k plus from him , so after that all died down he brought in his DW to handle the books...
She nailed him for 150 k in embezzled money then divorced him on top of it so she could run off with her boy friend!!
Gotta know who to trust .
I know a plumber whose bookeeper embezled about 110K
Was his own sister
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Oak River Mike,
your business relationship with your wife can have a major impact on your life.. One of my customers got himself into trouble with all the spec houses he built and hadn't sold. Last year in the seven county Metro area 108,000 new listings were made. 14,700 were sold..
None of his 17 spec houses..
His wife divorced him and wound up with everything worth anything and he wound up with the debt..
Then he went thru bankruptcy. I don't know if you know about it but the new bankruptcy laws aren't as nice as the old ones were. It's a good thing his wife lets him sleep at home and use one of the car she got... At least untill he gets back on his feet <G>
My wife keeps the books, manages the Office and is very effective in casual customer relations.
My girlfriend knows that I make enough money to keep her and the wife / office manager happy. Of course, the wife and the girlfriend are one in the same. The wife gets enough money to take care of business, and the girlfriend has enough to keep her happy with fun stuff. She is out shopping today, one of her favorite things to do.
As others have said, I would not want to be without my wife / girlfriend. The only real problem I have is when it is 11:00 PM, I am dozing off and she reminds me that we owe $16,750.00 to the concrete company...... due tommorrow. Like what am I going to do about it at 11 PM, except PRAY, but then prayer is effective. Sometimes I pray and then go get a large glass of wine and watch American Hot rod until it kicks in. Usually, she hopes the wine makes me sleepy and unplayful.
I have heard that most married couples operate "doggy style". the wife rolls over and plays dead , while the husband sits up and begs with toungue drouling and flappn.
No complaints her though, we are honestly like teenagers in love. We were recently asked, by the pastor, to lead a married couples class at our Church because he recognizes a great marriage.
Edited 3/16/2007 1:50 pm ET by txlandlord
Edited 3/16/2007 1:56 pm ET by txlandlord
I am very surprised to see how many of your wives are invloved in your business. Which I think is very good!
Mine has her own career, makes more money than I do and about the only interest she has is when she tells me I might have to consider closing up shop and getting a "real" job if I complain about anything.
I'm envious of you guys...
Absolutely,
It's part of the winding down process. My wife is nursing, so I get to hear about old people with dementia and I get to tell here about all the spiders I got to spend my day with under some house. It's a healthy part of any relationship ......in moderation of course.
Dave
I only tell my wife about the funny things. Like when I asked the new guy to go get the sawzall and he brought back all the saws.
That was good! True or not...still damn funny!
Good thing you didn't ask for the Snap-on
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
We don't talk about much of anything work related. She keeps her work to herself, and I keep my work to myself.
The most we ever talk about it is when we are making travel arrangements. Trying to arrange the same time off is our biggest problem.
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season