I was thinking today of all the creative ways some people I know have come up with to torment the less than experienced members of the crew. ( boardstretcher searches anyone?) I gotta believe that ya’ll have some ineresting ones to tell.
Mine is from the guy that taught me to frame. He hired this kid for the summer and by the middle of july, was totally sick of the kids stupid mistakes and having to spend twice as long cleaning up after him. ( why not fire him? his daddy was the G.C….)
So as they were getting ready to set ceiling joists one morning my old boss looks in his bags and goes “aw gee i am all out of toenails, run up the street to the other houses they are building and see if they have any they can spot us.” (this was after two months on the job!) The kid trots off and reappears two hours later after walking the whole housing developement , he was empty handed but says the first guy he talked to said he only had ten and he was going to be using them all. Otherwise no one even had any. Totally clueless.
Replies
A bucket of steam, a sky hook, left handed hammer, right handed nails, a bottle of snodsgrazzen, a board stretcher, cake glue (my old man taught vo-tech cooking)...
The list goes on. Old as the hills but still funny as hell.
What no bubble oil for the level? How did your pop do all that vo-tech cooking with no bubble oil
and don't forget the henweigh (hen way ?) solar powered flashlight, and a metric adjustable wrench...
We always used to send the new guy to the store for break. Had a guy named Rick, who would take his toolbelt off every day and lay it over a sawhorse while he went to the store. When he got back it would be nailed to the horse. After about two weeks, he asked me "What does it mean when your toolbelt gets nailed to a sawhorse every day?" I told him it means you should stop leaving your toolbelt laying on a sawhorse.
Andrew Douglas: What have you been up to?
Jim White: Killin' time... It just won't die.
http://grantlogan.net/
One of my favorites is to put several nice size rocks in a guys bags while he is on break, remove his nails and cover the rocks back up with nails, and see how long he works before he notices the extra weight. I've had guys work all day like that! (Oh, that's mean, harhar)
Many years ago I had a guy on cleanup detail so he hung his bags over a limb on a tree since he didn't need them. A couple of Wrens built full bird's nests in each bag in less than an hour. I still laugh about that one.
Richard,
The framer who taught me used to put rocks in everyone's bags. One day he got I don't know how many into the electricians bags while he was wearing them! Stan couldn't figure out why his bags were so heavy when he climbed the stairs :-)
"That's okay....we'll just use the structural drywall."Cabinetmaker/college woodworking instructor. Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.
"That's okay....we'll just use the structural drywall."
You might have to let that one go, it's outdated. ; ^ )
http://www.sureboard.com
This stuff was used on some 4 story buildings we did last year. Glad I didn't have to hang it. Mike
Trust in God, but row away from the rocks.
Crap. Dang technology.Cabinetmaker/college woodworking instructor. Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.
newbies on a ship are sent to find relative bearing grease and a bucket of prop wash. when i worked in a wholesale music supply, we sent them for cello chin rests.
My first boss used to require the new guy to wear a hard hat around on the first week on the job (this was a residential remodeling contractor BTW). The sole purpose of the lid was so we could screw with it. If the guy took the hat off and set it down it would promptly be affixed to that surface or another. The worst was when he set it on a concrete floor and we would then shoot it with the Remington concrete power nailer, then the boss would come in screaming "Why the (heck) are you not wearing your hard hat?!!". New guy would hurriedly try to pick up his hat and it wouldn't budge while the boss continued to yell and tried not to laugh. Another one was to stick a snake or lizard under the hat and wait for the cursing to begin. We even once stuck an anti theft tag to the inside, then when the new guy walked into the local big box thinking he was being smart by not leaving his hat in the truck he trips the alarm and was asked to step into the office so they could search him. They find nothing but as he is walking out the alarm sounds yet again. heheOne new hire was a muscle builder who tried to show off the first day by trying to turn the demo work into a race. That evening I went and epoxyed a sledge to the floor. Next day when time came to bust up a block wall, I grabbed a sledge and he could not seem to be able to lift his, to which we taunted "what's the matter is that little thing too heavy for you?"-Day
One of the more popular ones here at the plant is to send a newbie into the office to ask for the keys to the basement. (The plant is slab on grade)
"There's no basement at the Alamo!"......that's not a mistake, it's rustic
Back-hoe and trackhoe operators always need a can of E-Z-Dig from the back of the truck. "And don't bring the aerosol one, get the kind ya pour!" Good way to get a young laborer to clean out the back of a pickup.
Old telephone company splicers would send their newbie helpers to the central office for more dial-tone with, "get at least a bucketful."
l
And don't forget to ask the new guy to go to the truck and get an adjustable metric wrench. Or a horizontal plumb-bob. or the new set of left handed screwdrivers. And since this a 'special house' we are working on, go to the store and get some left-handed wire nuts since they hold better.
in the restaurant biz wen used to send them next door for ice mix. they would be sent back with a ice cream type bucket full to the rim ,no lid, with ice mix and tell them no to spill it cause it was highly corrosive. watching them walk slowly through a crowded sidewalk was a blast.
as for carps i just nail their tool belt to the wall... but get them in a sticky spot first and do it while their still wearing it. or nail it to the ceiling.Tmaxxx
Urban Workshop Ltd
Vancouver B.C.
cheers. Ill buy.
Be careful with the metric adjustable wrench, had a smart alec ask me for a metric crescent wrench and I handed him a 150mm wrench. Of course, if he had turned it over, it said 6 in. on the other side :-)
Brand name is Diamond.
the metric adjustable wrench, 6 in. on the other sideWell, hey, that would have worked just fine.
As long as you reminded him to put the right sized spacer of the fixed jaw.Doc - The Ol' Cynic
I worked at a theatrical scene shop for a year after a few years on the job at another company. I guess they all assumed I had no idea what I was doing because one of the guys told me to go "put that mis-cut board into The Boardstreacher out back." I asked him if he needed me to bring him back the aluminum magnet.
that won't be funny after i invent a boardstretcher and live happily ever after in tahiti on the royalties
They are not all stupid, how about the ones that look for your non-existing item and spent the day on the clock trying to find it knowing that it does not exist.
Jet wash, prop wash, and flight line. Three old Air Force favorites for the new guy to find.
If you had worked around piston engines, you're rookies would have been sent for 'Mag Drops'.
There was one guy who actually did bring back a 5 gallon bucket of prop wash. He used a bucket with a lid, filled it with water. Took it out behind a C-47 with the engines running. Dump out the water, put the lid on, and that's a bucket of prop wash. ;-)
-- J.S.
In the service back in the day many moons ago... At Ft. Carson there is an area that most if not all the ranges fire into called the "Impact Area" sort of a no-mans land. Send the FNG's to the First Sargent looking for the keys to the Impact Area before going down range. Luckily Top played along and sent them on a wild goose chase of his own. Good fun!
Only two things money can't buy, True Love and Home Grown Tomatoes...Misty River Band
Last few frames of mine had illegal mexican sheetrockers, I had to go do some change orders today and when thy were on break I filled all their screw gun motors with red chalk.
When they went back to work fired up the screw guns and all their faces were covered in chalk. One even put his gun down and grabbed his buddies and nailed himself again.
I am still laughing, I think I heard every mexican cuss word today. Even though I don't speak no spanish. :)Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
I think you might have meant to say "Even though I don't speak ANY spanish." Or maybe you don't really know any English too :) And how'd ya know they were illegals? It might have been a smarter joke too if you had used blue instead of red. Red will come bleeding right through most paints and make the painters job a bitch.
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Oh I know english quite well, and I know what I typed.
I know they are illegals, not one spoke english. I asked their boss who was supposed to be the one hanging the board.
He told me he made more money by subbing it to the illegals than doing it himself. He could be doing other jobs making money while they are making him money as well.
I know the the possible side effects from red chalk on the walls, they were hanging blue board for plaster, scratch coat covers it no problem. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
>>I know they are illegals, not one spoke english.So you're saying that all people who are in the US legally speak english? Or are you saying that people in the US who don't speak english are here illegally?>>He told me he made more money by subbing it to the illegals than doing it himself.Does that mean the group of people you harassed are illegal just because the boss sometimes skirts the law to save money?
Not speaking a word of english is a pretty good indication of being illegal in my mind.
You call that harrassing? What world do you live in? I did it as a joke. I didn't do it because they were mexican.
Guess what, I would have done it to any one hanging board today. White, black, brown or purple. I am good friends with their boss. He laughed his butt off when he seen it.Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Ooo.OOO.. Can I play too?
You are certain they were Mexican? Not say, Guadaloupean or Dominican? Cuz after all, if it aint english, yer a mexican?
Soon as I read your intial post I saw it coming at ya...LOL
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
There is no cure for stupid. R. White.
Yeah I figured it was coming.
I get worse crap from my wife on a good day.
Their boss said they were mexicans, I couldn't tell you what country they came from. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
gotta go with jerald on this one,funs fun but thats not even funny
ruin peoples tools for your laughs Due to recent budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
Tools were far from ruined man.
I took them outside after their boss and I quit laughing locked the triggers and left them to hang running for 10 minutes or so.
All the chalk blew out of the guns and work resumed. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Ohh soooooooooooooo Now your saying you held the crew up for ten whole minutes while you had to get the chalk out of their drills. Who's gonna reimburse for the down time? I'm taking it out of your last check. LOL
That's a good joke. I'm gonna have to get some baby powder though. I don't need to here the ranting when I re tell the story. LOL And I'll track down some white guys too.
FWIW Most rookies haze themselves enough. I don't need to throw in the tired old skyhook joke. It's all lame. But the drill joke that's good on anybody anytime. Thanks.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North.
I think some of these guys want me to be ashamed. Maybe I can borrow some tissues and their Yanni, John Tesh, Crying Game cd's. :)
That'll learn me somethin for tryin to have fun a work, I know I've got one coming from the board hangers, all in good fun.
Yep it cost them a whopping ten minutes, then the salsa music and screw guns went on a rampage for the rest of the day. Baby powder is a good idea. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
The baby powder might also help with that "Stinky hand tool" thread over at JLC.
Jon Blakemore RappahannockINC.com Fredericksburg, VA
AHHHHHH CMONNN WILLYA!!! I was enjoying the friggin' posts about hazings! Get back to it.
Could I have a bucket of your correctness pleeeeease? I seem to be running low and I don't know no better....
Hey Gunner, When I started reading through this thread today I thought how long would it be before somebody started pissing on a good time. It didn't take long did it? I agree with you. That chalk in the drill is pretty darn funny.
It happens eventualy in nearly every thread. I will get somebody with the drill thing.
Ohhh tipi tipi tipi. Tipi tipi fest, Yes we're gonna party with the very best. Come over to the tipi. Give Andy all your dough. Cause you gotta to pay. If you want to go. Sing along Y'all.
Tipi fest 06. Get hip.
It works best with drywall screw guns, the operator locks the trigger on and the chalk goes flying man. It lasts awhile before the operator figures out the unlock the trigger. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Gotcha. We have a guy that's really slow. He'll keep getting it all over him all day.
Ohhh tipi tipi tipi. Tipi tipi fest, Yes we're gonna party with the very best. Come over to the tipi. Give Andy all your dough. Cause you gotta to pay. If you want to go. Sing along Y'all.
Tipi fest 06. Get hip.
This is not a jobsite prank, but its pretty funny. I had a coupla friends used to try to top each other on gross-outs. So one day one of them is over visiting, and the other guy picks up his kid (baby) and says, Hey time for a diaper change. Only he had put some fresh split pea soup in a clean diaper. So he comes out of the back room, and shows his buddy, and says Man, maybe the kid is sick or something, whaddya think? Then he says Hey, I wonder how this stuff tastes - and starts eating it out of the diaper. The buddy just totally freaks - What the h#ll are you doing??!! I still laugh when I tell that story."he...never charged nothing for his preaching, and it was worth it, too" - Mark Twain
That's pretty bad. A guy told me he did something like that once with some peanut butter in a freshly cleaned toilet. i just can't bring myself to consider it. Even if it's new.
Ohhh tipi tipi tipi. Tipi tipi fest, Yes we're gonna party with the very best. Come over to the tipi. Give Andy all your dough. Cause you gotta to pay. If you want to go. Sing along Y'all.
Tipi fest 06. Get hip.
My grand-dad used to eat sandwhichs made with olive loaf meat.
One day, he has taken a couple bites and his co-worker notices something black near the edge of the bite mark ( black olice protruding enough to be visible. He asks, "What is that black thing on your sandwhich?"grand-Dad says, "Just a fly" and gulps it down...The guy almost retched
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Maybe he retched because he found out it was olive loaf.:)
A follow up on that is to bring a can of Dinty Moore onto a plane with a fellow actor. One of you gets "sick and grabs the old barf bag which is actually filled with the stew. Ask the stewardess for spoons and watch the real fun begin.
I had a friend that did that....I dunno, I think those years are past for me now but I can still laugh about it.
mrmojo - you have an interesting sense of humor.
In the joke thread you thought pairing Jews and pedophiles was funny. When I said something about it you told me "get over yourself its a joke".
But some chalk in a screwgun sets you off.
Go figure.
Well Buic, a chalk line is where he draws the line.;-)
You know I was joking with you earlier when I chided you for writing "Even though I don't speak no spanish." thinking that maybe you did write that intentionally but when I read something where you clobber the English language again I begin to wonder.
"He laughed his butt off when he seen it."
Try "He laughed his butt off when he saw it."
I often intentionally write "Ya" in place of using "You" and "Gonna" in place of "Going To" because that's how I sound when I talk. But I would never say (or write) "...when he seen it." because it just sounds illiterate, like something that would come from someone who never made it to high school.
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Great Jerrald, thanks for the grammar lesson.
I know you were joking, I saw the :) you put after it.
I am computer illiterate, in other words can't type what my mind is thinking.
Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Jerrald, actually the use of "I seen it" could mean the speaker is from Toledo.
Just thought I'd interject that before you had to axe me.
thanks.A great place for Information, Comraderie, and a sucker punch.
Remodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.
Quittin' Time
When we need extra labor of the semi-skilled or un-skilled variety I borrow them from a friend of mine who runs a nursery and landscaping company. With the exception of a few middle europeans most of his guys are from Guatemala and while they are all here legally some of them don't speak any English at all. So on a job we did last month I finally set out to learn to speak Spanish and we made a real fun time of it. I would work with the guys who already spoke English on improving there English by giving them quotes from Shakespeare that they would stumble through and they would give me phrases in Spanish to say that I would absolutely butcher but we all had a really good time and a lot of laughs doing it. Today I was on a job that is actually one of their lawn maintenance contracts and a few of the guys I worked with were there. Funniest thing was when one of the guys said something to me in fractured English and one of his buddies who spoke no English at all a few weeks ago corrected him imitating me and how I correct him!There boss and my friend is from Sicily and you should hear him talk. He's been here since the 60's but boy what an accent. Since he speaks Spanish all the time to his guys I asked them "Does Sal speak Spanish with a Sicilian accent?" and they all laughed saying yes. Ya gotta hear Sal talk. It always makes me smile. When he calls me on the phone I get these messages "Hello-a Jerry, this is-a Sal..." and he really does say "Fugedaboutit" all the time.
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The different ways people speak is an education in itself.A great place for Information, Comraderie, and a sucker punch.
Remodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.
Quittin' Time
In fact now that I think about it one of my roommates in college used to always say "axe" and "I'd seen it done" all the time and while he was from Binghamton, NY I think he originally came from Ohio or western PA. Is that really part of the vernacular? It yoused to drive me crazi.
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Well, when you watch the man on the street interviews on the news, you'd swear that's what was taught in school.
A great place for Information, Comraderie, and a sucker punch.
Remodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.
Quittin' Time
" He laughed his butt off when he seen it."Yerald was partly right. You must be partly illegal because you have a problem with parts of the yinglich language...;)
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Crap how did you know I was partly illegal?
You won't tell anyone will you? :)Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
On Friday night after your guys leave glue a bunch of quarters to the subfloor with construction adhesive. By monday they are usually very solid, funny to watch guys trying to scrape quarters up.Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
My dad used to have a nickle glued to one of the steps on his back deck. He used to get a real kick out of people trying to pick it up.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
And then there's the old "doody dollar" trick.
Andrew Douglas: What have you been up to? Jim White: Killin' time... It just won't die.
http://grantlogan.net/
I haven't heard about that one yet. Enlighten me if you would.Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Find a pile of excrement and lay a dollar bill on top of it. Sit back and watch. I've never personally done this, but have been witness to it.
Andrew Douglas: What have you been up to? Jim White: Killin' time... It just won't die.
http://grantlogan.net/
Last week at lunch. Wendys. Dale sees a 20 blowing across the parking lot. He runs out and damn near got hit by a truck diving for it...comes back and it was torn in half, he had half a 20...LOL
First words outta his mouth.."This'll make a GREAT POO DOLLAR"
Hence, my recent understanding of the term.
Which, sounds a lot more entertaining than Mikey's plan of goin to the bank and getting a ten....I'm still shaking my head.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
There is no cure for stupid. R. White.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Which, sounds a lot more entertaining than Mikey's plan of goin to the bank and getting a tenMikey could probably get a ten for it. He'd wear them down with his Spinal Tap "but this one goes to 11" type logic.
Andrew Douglas: What have you been up to? Jim White: Killin' time... It just won't die.
http://grantlogan.net/
LOL. He is special.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
There is no cure for stupid. R. White.
My parents always taught me not ever to put money in my mouth.
"you never know where that dollar has been"
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
What grade did you say you were in? Seventh?
-Jazzdogg-
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Gil Bailie
I worked for one company 98 the boss like to pull stunts all the time and he kind of expected a few in return.
You mention a lot of them but two deer sent in the vent in the truck. One guy glued the trigger of a belt sander in the on position.
You can image what happed to that when the sander hit the floor.
The person went and found a new job. Quit on a Monday after payday on Friday he had his wife there when he quit and asked for his pay for Monday. The boss was not happy. the boss told him he get in two weeks when every one else got theirs.
The person went to the wage and hour division of the state three weeks latter and complained. The guy got paid for Monday and the 9 days he did not work.
No one is sure but we think what happened next was the guy that quit getting even.
Then the PJ was a quart of antifreeze in the crank case of cat telloader trashed the engine.
The next PJ was the boss got 4 flat tires on his truck a block from his home.
The next PJ paint co. the finish failed on the trim, the sheet rock. They think some one use a silicone spray on the surfaces.
Latter after the home owner took position of the home the boss gets a call. It seem the toilet is backing up and is leaking. It turned out some one glued a plug of wood in the dl. filled the line about 3/4s and drilled a few small holes in the top of the drain line so it would leak.
Are you mad because you couldn't get the quarters off the floor?Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
No. Of course he isn't.
And No, of course it doesn't.
It might mean that you are just too sensitive. Or maybe you are trying to act sensitive to the plight of illegals. If you were really concerned about them you would be concerned that they were, probably,working without insurance, proper pay and maybe without proper safety equipment just so their scumbag employer could make a few extra bucks at their expense.
But, you have a right to your opinion just as much as I do.
If having a low wage work force was good for a country's economy then why hasn't Mexico built a fence?
Perhaps because I am "boss" I'm not really a fan of hazing at all. I love practical jokes and we all play them on each other from time to time but we all have been working together for years now. Most of the stuff I see here is pretty innocuous and good fun and I would look the other way but if some dummy put red chalk in electric tool on one of my jobs if I didn't fire the guy I would certainly make him clean up the mess and buy the guy a new drill.
The problem is with hazing is that it can get out of hand real easy. Yeah your saying now that is was blue board for a plaster job but just the same some other dummy sees you doing that and he ends up doing the same stupid stunt when it's a straight drywall job and now it's a real problem.
A short while back over on the JLC site a guy started a discussion about hazing rituals called Stinky Hand Tools. While the guy doing the hazing got exactly what he had coming to him it was an unfortunate and ugly scenario and illustrates just how this kind of sh!t gets out of hand.
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Dummy huh? Go ahead fire me. That make you feel good?
You want me to buy new screw guns? I would gladly, it was worth it.
Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
That's the funniest Goddamn thing I've ever heard of. My hats off to you. Screw that other punk giving you #### for it.
The AF we used to do some mean mean stuff.
We sent one guy in for a "mobility pap smear". Got the PA in on it, who smeared glue on his feet, told him he could put his boots on and go home now.
Another we told him the medics needed to size him for a kevlar cup since the sandbox you got more kevlar. But there was no time to get him back to the doc, he'd have to fax it in. So my flight sergeant comes walking into the office later kind of ashen, says "you know Airman Jones is in the bathroom tracing his stuff on a piece of paper?"
Or when the new kid on the flight line gets relieved from guard duty and the relief says "wheres the keys?"
At Ellsworth, a couple of Sergeants wanted to get back at one of the snowplow drivers who was a pinhead. So they filled a couple of milk jugs with used transmission fluid and wrapped them in a bunch of rags, buried them in the snow in his path and just waited. Guy about died when tattered rags and a red mist shot out of the plow.
Ahh, memories.
"Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think -- there are no little things" - Bruce Barton
OK, here's a couple:
Factory I used to work at, they got the new guy when he came back from getting his physical and told him that the doctor had forgotten to get his urine sample. Give him a bottle, tell him to fill it, and take it up to the girl in Personnel (who doesn't have any idea what's going on).
Same guy, (not the swiftest), is walking through his area, and the supervisor, holding a hose in his hand, points to the shutoff valve on the wall and asks him to open it. The shutoff valve feeds the emergency shower right over his head.
Don
or they ask for things like prop wash...
find it at the boat yards... very expensive...
take all day to find it... do yur looking at the coffee shop for a couple of hours 1st...
now that sky hook... it's the nick name for the dragon fly lookin' helicopter...
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming<!----><!----><!---->
WOW!!! What a Ride!<!----><!---->
Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
Send the newbie to BT and ask for a Tavern request.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
There is no cure for stupid. R. White.
Hey, I did that ! oh, wait a minute......
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specializtion is for insects. - robert heinlen
ya gotta wonder sometimes.....
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specializtion is for insects. - robert heinlen
"They are not all stupid, how about the ones that look for your non-existing item and spent the day on the clock trying to find it knowing that it does not exist." When I was just out of high school,I had a job at a place that handled bulk advertisements,flyers,coupons,etc.Basically took the ads and labeled them with individual addresses which were seperated by zip codes,and then sent off.Lots of bundles and lots of rubber bands.One day the guy(who was the resident smartass) running the machine I was assigned to tells me,"See if you can find a rubber band stretcher".I knew right away it was BS and spent the next 2 hours wandering around shooting the breeze with everyone.When I finally came back,he was real pissed.I just played dumb.(thanks for the 2 hour break)He said "You're even dumber than you look.Most people are back in 20 minutes telling me they can't find one,and you're gone for half the morning."
Put the female coupling end on a framing gun and you can get then charge the gun with enough air to get the gun to shoot one nail. Put the gun to you mouth and pretend to blow air in to the end of the coupling and pull the trigger.
then give the gun to the newbie and they will turn blue in the face trying to keep up with the "other guys"
Another is to give a guy a styrofoam cup and tell them to get you some lacquer thinner...quick...and be real carefull...
Send them looking for some Fallopian Tubes.Only two things money can't buy, True Love and Home Grown Tomatoes...Misty River Band
Boss' young son came to work stoned most every day, and then he fell asleep on the unit of plywood after lunch, where he often slept through most or all of the afternoon. When he didn't come home one evening, his dad found him still on the job site, stapled to the plywood - through his jeans and shirt sleaves. He was wide awake by then, embarassed and POed, but not moving much. Dad had a talk with the guys, and the young kid quit.
Gary W
gwwoodworking.com
My kid sister worked at a summer youth camp for a couple years. They guys were working on the camp truck one day and sent her out for a quart of 30-weight blinker fluid - for a Ford, none of that Japanese crap.
I still like the reply I read here last time this subject came up ...
whoever it was ... new guy on site.
someone asked for the board stretcher or whatever ...
guy knew the drill ...
so instead of running thru the subdivision making himself look stupid ...
he drove down to the local bar and had a few beers.
came back at quitting time and said he couldn't find any.
Jeff
Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
I missed that one. Makes me want to get a new job just to try it out.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North.
I had my cousin help me out a couple of months ago, hauling lumber and cleaning up.
I seen him try to hammer 16's in one day and asked to see his hammer. I told him it was way out of balance. If he took it to Sears they balance hammers for free.
I even gave him one of my framing hammers at the end of the day and said get this one balanced while you are there. The job they do is amazing, nails just fly into the boards.
He came back the next day with both hammers, unbalanced and laughing. He tried for almost an hour to get the manager to balance our hammers.Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
See now that's real good harmless fun,... and witty too. I like that.The problem with the chalk too while you may have cleaned the drills out afterward the damage is already in there. Chalk is real fine dust and abrasive and it works its way into the bearing and helps to wear out the tool prematurely. That's why drywall guns since they already are subject to a lot of exposure to gypsum dust wear out so fast compared to other drills.
Edited 7/13/2006 8:07 pm ET by JerraldHayes
It's funny to see first hand Jerrald. I agree on the points of red chalk and the damage it could do to drywall. I wouldn't have done it on a sheetrock job.
If a drill would have went down I would have gladly paid for it. I caused the damage I'll pay for it. The board hangers laughed about it after awhile. Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
Well.... I own all the tools so I can't get in any trouble........ someone's getting a faceful of chalk pretty soon! ROAR!!!! That one is freakin' hilarious dude. (Knowing me, I'll probably forget 5 min after I do it and I'll be the one wearing it)
I once made a new guy crown a whole bunk of 3/4" plywood. View Image
I once made a new guy crown a whole bunk of 3/4" plywood.
You are a Dick. Over.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North.
Forgot to add. :)
Man your a dick
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
LOL.... I can't argue with you there. The " :) " is unnecessary.
I also told him that the top edge of the roll of Tyvek works just like a stamp. Lick and stick.
Another fun one is a nice blob of subfloor adhesive in the nail pouch. Or parking the forklift in front of the porta-john door. Or not telling them that there's a seal to break in the tube of subfloor adhesive..... so they pump and pump and pump until it blows out the back end of the gun. Or cutting one inch off the end of their tape and pop riveting the hook back on.
HAR, HAR, HAR.... man I love jobsite humor. :)View Image
ROAR. You just went down a notch on my dream jobs list. I'd have to pour red chalk in the fan blades of your truck motor just to make up for half of that.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
C'mon man...... that stuff shoulda pushed me UP a notch on the dream jobs list..... it's a damm good time bro.View Image
Fun for you. There I am at the end of the day covered in sub floor adhesive. Been trapped in the wretched porta john all afternoon. And I'm going crazy cause I can swear my tape used to start at zero.
Come to think of it. Just another day at the office.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
I'd cut you some slack. I'd never make you look around for the pull cord to start up the forklift in the morning. Or install bridging after the subfloor is down. Or call down from the roof for a sheet of plywood at 96 3/4". Or........ well..... maybe I might. :)
Hey man.... it's a rough job, right? Gotta keep it light hearted.... all in good fun.View Image
I aint crowning the fricking plywood!..........................again
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
New guy is on the job. I introduce myself and start making small talk. I ask him "Has Joe invited you to his house yet?" New guy says no. I say "Watch out, because he and his wife are swingers. He likes to invite the new guys and their wives over to try and do a little swapping." New guy says "I'm not into that at all." Not two minutes later, here comes Joe randomly inviting him over and the new guy is running away from him.
I am sure I have posted this before..but for you buddy, I'll type it out again. Not really a NEW guy prank, but ABSOLUTION to a recurring pproblem.
The names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.
"Rutger" was an older gent who liked his liquid lunch, about 3 32oz Millers PER DAY. I was foreman for a medium sized homebuilder /remod contactor and I got Rutger on my crew for a new subdivision of cookie cutter 4 br 2 story colonials in Pa.
Rutger wouldn't use the job jhonnie...nope, he'd slink into the basement ( before slab) and back up to the wall and let a horrid brown avalanche in the freaking basement.
I new about this, and said "dude, like WHAT THE HELL?" he just kinda moped and made circles in the dirt with his toes..the sumbitch was about 55, I was maybe 26? Fresh outta Navy.
One fine summer day we was glueing and nailin subfloor..hot. Lunch rolls around, most either bring sammiches or buy from the rolling roach coach..'cept Rutger...BAR RUN!
Well he was in the glueing mode just before lunch, so , while he was away a certain individual got an empty QT of subfloor adhesive and with a shim sliced like a pencil, got the plunger out..and wit the remaing shim, deftly took Rutgers last load and got it in the tube..ya with me so far?
Put the plunger cup back in, and load his (Rutgers) qt gun with the #### as we called it.
After lunch, the old feller, happy with his beer, went back to "glueing"..hahahah...well, he saw the Glue didn't quite look right..so with a swipe of 2 fingers, he globbed up some as he was saying " Hey, WTF? IS This?" and held it up to his nose...
About then the beer geyser erupted outta every hole in his head, I mean his EYES shot out beer...
We about died laughing, he quit crapping for the next two days, and then quit.
I still lmao just thinking about it.
Edit, got nabbed for the Sh!ttube name of the glue tube, my bad.
Spheramid Enterprises Architectural Woodworks
There is no cure for stupid. R. White.
Edited 7/14/2006 6:40 pm ET by Sphere
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Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
I'm thinking baby powder in the defrost fan
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
I like that better.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
-I also told him that the top edge of the roll of Tyvek works just like a stamp. Lick and stick. -
Oooh, that is unbelievably cruel.... I must try this prank tomorrow. =)
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specializtion is for insects. - robert heinlen
Crown the plywood. Im gonna use that one myself. Could become a classic.
Crowning a bunk of plywood? That's a good one, I should have made the one who cut my cord to my wormdrive yesterday do it. :)Can't you hear the violin playing your song.
You want to know where you screwed up bud? You didn't take the advice of Mike Smith internet argueing champion. Your waisting all this time and cyberspace argueing with a guy who's only gonna argue back until you kill yourself. It's what he loves. He's an agueing machine.
Anyway next time take a look at the manual Mike wrote and adapt the standard response. "Bite me." It has saved Mike countless hours of frustration and anguish. Trust me kid. It's the only way to argue with these drones.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North.
"drones"
Well, drone this #### hole.A great place for Information, Comraderie, and a sucker punch.
Remodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.
Quittin' Time
Your not a drone.
Frickin clone. :)
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
Gunner didn't you really mean to say that I am a "arguing machine" not an "agueing machine"? Argue is a verb while Ague is a noun meaning malaria or some other illness involving fever and shivering.
(And don't fool yourself into thinking it something I like to do too. In real life (rememeber this is just Breaktime, Forget it Jake, It's Breaktime*) I love working to find agreement and consensus and it's real interesting how the science of that kind of dialog works. Let me know if you ever want to study that stuff. I can comeup with some real good book recomendations for you.)
And are you calling me a "drone"?
-----
* Lawrence Walsh to Jake Gittes (Jack Nickoson) "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."
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BITE ME.
Tipi fest 06. A nice place to get away with the family and enjoy the lush estates of Cliffordland. And hang out with the amazing shirtless camper dude from the great white North. Eh
Consider it done,... you're bit.
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Had a boss that liked to try this one.
Boss would tell the new guy he had to measure the new guy's intelligence.
While new guy was standing there, boss would carefully put the tip of the tape measure against the guys forehead. Then pull out 32" or so and lock the blade. then while still holding the tip, boss would let go of the tape body so it would swing down and catch the new guy in the family jewels.
"Ha Ha ha you failed"
Bowz
That's a good one. <!----><!----><!---->
<!----><!---->
I have a little pool trick that that was fun, and mean to pull. While having a beer and shooting some pool after work I’d ask my worthy opponent If he’d ever seen this trick. Then I pick up the wooden ball rack and put it over my hands, dangling on my wrists in front of me, then carefully twist my hands around so the rack rotates the pointed end up and around, just missing my face, and back to it’s original position. It looks pretty easy. So 90% of the guys I’ve shown this to try to make it look even easier, and crack themselves right across the bridge of the nose with the rack. <!----><!---->
<!----><!---->
Warning, not a good trick to lay on people you like. 8) May require bandaids.
Edited 7/14/2006 11:14 am ET by MrJalapeno
there weill never be anything funnier than seeing someone get smacked in the family jewels.
i feel real sorry for anyone who works for me.
last year on an out of town job i let the crew go nuts at the bar one night. next day one guy was unable to work so i said he could sleep for an hour. 3 hours later he was still out cold. so 5 gallons of ice water woke him up. we video taped it. can we post video on here?Tmaxxx
Urban Workshop Ltd
Vancouver B.C.
cheers. Ill buy.
One of the plant tests was the nickel test. The testee is challenged to drop a nickel into a funnel. The nickel is balanced on the nose and a funnel is tucked down the pants. While he is looking up balancing the nickel, a cup of cold water is easily poured down the funnel.
While on the subject of hard hats, you learn early that you never leave the hat sitting upside down. The hats are watertight and you don't notice the cup of water poured in it until its on your head.
Same old lurker, new profile.
can we post video on here?
Yes, please do
heres the dont come to work hungover video. it might be one of those ya had to be there videos. first bucket didnt wake him so i moved in with another and he woke up.
and dont bug me cause im uglyTmaxxx
Urban Workshop Ltd
Vancouver B.C.
cheers. Ill buy.
"There boss". Maybe you should study up on your pronouns before you get too out of hand. Maybe you are spending a little too much time on the spanish.
A variation on a posted story:
New guy asks co-worker, "hey, the boss is kinda grumpy, how do I get on his good side?"
"Ask him about his daughter, she's a figure skater, might go to the Olympics. He loves to talk about her".
New guy sez to boss (who is in on the gag) "Hey, I hear your daughter really skates up a storm"?
Boss sez, "What kind of cruel *hole are you? Everybody knows my daughter lost her legs in a car accident!"
The let the new guy in two days later, nasty boys.
I just heard of a good one that happened here at the plant. And it's one I don't remember hearing before. New guy on his first day working here. The table leader tells him a bottom chord is 1/4" too short. He sets the board up with each end propped up on something, and has the new guy jump up and down on it for a couple of minutes. Then they told him to flip it over and jump on the other side for a while. Unfortunately, the jumping up and down on the board only made it 1/16" longer. So they eventually sent him after a new board.
I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right.
My favorite one is when I send the new guy out to the trailer to get me a matter. They'll come back with that dumb look on there face and go "what's a matter ?" I look at 'em funny and say "nothings the matter with me what's the matter with you !"
Had a kid who couldn"t hit a nail if his life depended on it. Asked him where he purchased his hammer. Then asked him if they balanced it for him and if not to take it back and get it balanced. He did!!!!!!
My favorite story is this guy that was sick of his Boss always playing tricks on him. This was up in oregon in the winter so it was cold. The kid stuffed hot dogs and lots of ketchup in the first two fingers of his gloves. He then took a knife and cut them most of thhe way through so they were kinda hangin loose. SO he simply went over to the chop saw near where his boss was and ran the saw for a second then started screaming. He should have been an actor. No body else was in on it. With all the screaming it looked REAL and GROSS. The Boss completey freaked out (actually we all did) He actually grabbed the guys hand and tried to wrap it up!!!!. Finally the kid just started busting up laughing and pulled off the glove. The Boss Man left him alone after that.
My buddy Bill used to work as an airline mechanic. Each mechanic had his own bench. When a new mechanic was hired, he would be assigned a bench first thing. While working on his first engine or other large project, someone would come over and chat the new guy up for a few moments while one of the other guys would come up behind the new guy and quietly set a single needle bearing on his bench. Apparently, an extra bearing can really drive a person wild once the engine (or whatever) is put back together!
Mind you, I would NEVER do ANYTHING like that!
I hear you can do that hiding a sponge after an abdominal operation - they count them afterward!
Forrest
hey there "NEWBIE" hows 'bout you go and find a 4x9 sheet of plywood to finish the roof
Once we told a delivery kid to ask the store manager if those new prenailed shingles were in yet.....
When doing hurricane or other strapping, send the rookie for "ID ten T" straps. Say it and write it for his reference....ID10T.
when framing, I usually send the rookie to look for layout marks they look like a 100' tape, red ones are set ahead, blue ones set back, and the green ones are center to center!
Maybe not all construction related, but could be, I guess.
My Grandpa was good at slipping a piece of cardboard, paper bag, sandpaper, or whatever was handy into an unattended sandwich. Turn your back for 10 seconds and you got got. I learned pretty fast, though.
I heard of another relative that would go ahead and eat it cardboard and all, just so he wouldn't be the butt of a joke. (Don't think it worked, though)
Another one is to poke a small hole in someone's pop or beer can when they aren't looking. Just under te rim by the mouth hole. Then they take a drink and dribble all down their front.
I used to fill my brother's beer with water when he left it unattended. I know, that's really mean. Expecting a nice cold drink of beer, and getting a gulp of water instead. He made really funny faces.
When he started to get wise, and inspect his beers closely, I filled a beer bottle with water, put it in the fridge to get cold. Next time I fetched him a beer, I poured a little beer into the water. Gave it to him, tried to keep a straight face as he inspected it, felt the temperature, smelled it, and even took a SMALL taste. All ok, he thought, then he took a big drink. SURPRISE!
I know it sounds mean, but it makes up for all the times he beat up on his little brother (me).
Grandpa also put Saran Wrap over the toilet, under the seat, then unscrewed the lightbulb in the bathroom. Got him kicked out of the seminary.
Grandpa had a bunch of them. I just got back from vacation with relatives swapping stories. Had a great time and learned a lot.Pete Duffy, Handyman
in electron microscopy "know it alls" get asked to align the beam with a small magnet attached to the column which makes it impossible
I just remembered an old one from the early days of the Volkswagen. One guy had one and was boasting so much about the great gas mileage that the rest of the crew played a trick on him. At some point during the day, every day, somebody would sneak down to his car and *add* a quart of gas to the tank. ;-)
-- J.S.