Dumbest, funniest accident
At the suggestion of Bosshog in his current thread on crazy HO ideas:
Carpenter self Crucifixion, 20th Century Style
This happened one morning when I was trimming a cookie cutter house in a development called Turtle Bay, Hollywood Florida, 1980.
While installing the kitchen I was chatting with a guy outside the open window who was standing on a horse scaffold, nailing 1/4″-2’X8′ plywood to the soffit with a trim gun.
He was complaining about something typical, the boss or the wife, when he shot a nail through the end of his thumb into plywood and the 2X4 frame. I hadn’t really been paying attention until his tone changed to a loud, “Ah, ah, ah, ow, ow, OW!
I looked out to see him dancing on his toes, his left hand imprisoned against the soffit, wailing plaintively, “What do I do now?”
It took a few seconds for me to stop laughing, him moaning, “You ph–k! You’re laughing at me”.
Then I said, “OK, you got a hammer on your belt. Pull the freekin’ nail”.
“I can’t. It hurts too much”.
“OK, I’ll come out and do it for you”.
“No, I don’t trust you.”
“OK, let me know if you change your mind,” smiling and laughing to myself, “I gotta get back to work.”
“No wait……OK I’m gonna do it.”
He did, me enjoying the whole scene to the max.
Edited 11/21/2008 12:17 pm by Hudson Valley Carpenter
Replies
I'm somewhat ashamed to say that made me laugh... a lot.
My own dumbest, funniest accident happened to me while working alone many years ago. For some insane reason I decided to save a cast iron tub I was pulling out of a 100 year old house rather than hitting it with a sledge. The bathroom was tiny at about 5x6. When I pulled the tub by it's far side to slide it out on a blanket, it naturally kept going and pinned me against a stucco-over-masonry wall. My feet had slid on the blanket, so my leverage was somewhat compromised with the 300lb tub now leaning at 45 degrees against my chest.
After a few seconds of shock at how dumb this situation was, I managed to bench press the tub back up. It wasn't that big a deal in retrospect, but had I slipped a little farther under the tub, my throat would have been the target rather than my chest.
I still dragged the tub (now a trophy to my stupidity) out of the house and later gave it to a scrap metal garbage picker.
Car Attacks Owner
Maybe dumber than the soffitt accident...I had an old Chevy Nova that I used as a utility vehicle one season. Six cyclinder, three speed stick. Parked it on a slight slope at the job site one time, in gear...no brake. Got out, closed the door, threw the blue prints on the hood and leaned over to read a dimension. The car's engine was under a compression load, being parked with the brake off. One piston passed TDC and the car rolled over my foot before chugging to a stop. Limped around for the rest of the day, laughing at myself and saying, "Thank God for radial tires."
Edited 3/25/2007 10:48 pm ET by Hudson Valley Carpenter
Okay, your car story reminded me of a another one of my own in two parts.
So I am using a friends little Toyota PU to carry some supplies for a community picnic. All's well until I lift the cap window to get to the supplies. Unlike my well-maintained PU and cap of the same vintage, this caps window drops down just as I lean forward and catches me right across the forehead. As I am swearing the obligatory blue streak, I remember that I am in the north Georgia mountains and the bluegrass band is just striking up a rather religious song. The looks were not kind.
Beating a hasty retreat from the situation, I jump into the truck for a return trip with another friend. As we pull out of the grass near the picnic, and completely unknown to us, a tree limb hits the CB antenna and knocks it off the roof. The antenna falls in between the bed and cab of the truck and wraps itself around the drive shaft.
Without warning, the CB spontaneously launches itself out of the dash and hits the seat back with a pronounced thud! My passenger and I stared at each other in disbelief. After assuming this was some kind of divine payback for the swearing, a group of us performed a post mortem on the truck and discovered the CB antenna was missing... A good laugh was had by all.
Edited 3/22/2007 4:00 pm ET by Thaumaturge
Edited 3/22/2007 4:06 pm ET by Thaumaturge
When I was a teenager, I was carrying hod for my old man. Were up on the roof of this job called "the rock" - a three story house on top of this mound that stuck up twenty feet out of the ground.
We were tearing down, and as usual, I was throwing the plank off the roof. From that height, if you don't hit the end, you can easily split them. I threw one kind of sideways (it lived) and my dad starts yelling at me (BTW: pretty normal for bricklayers to yell).
He grabbed the plank I had out of my hands and told me he was going to show me how to do it right (big mistake right there). It sailed off the roof and hit the end perfectly - then bounced in beautiful arc past the trailer through the back window of his flatbed.
I didn't want to get pitched off next, so I just went back to tearing down the next set of frames, extremely happy with myself.
I was walking through the job site one morning when a worker fell five floors to his death.
He landed at my feet and to this day I will never forget it, nothen funny about an accident.
busta
"It ain't da seafood dat makes ya fat anyway -- it's da batta!"
Humor is where we find it, as are all life lessons. I find it curious that you can't chuckle at the human condition, when it's something we all share.
"Humor is where we find it" Sorry I find no humor in accidents that kill peoplebusta"It ain't da seafood dat makes ya fat anyway -- it's da batta!"
Busta,The thread title is Dumbest, funniest acciden, then you posted your experience.????
Yea so it was the dumbest thing this guy did but was it the funniest???All accidents are stupid and the caust livesbuste"It ain't da seafood dat makes ya fat anyway -- it's da batta!"
Sorry about your experience, but there are plenty of funny accidents and that is the subject of this thread - dumb, funy ones - so you are totally out of ontext. I've handle the hard ones too even so far as seeing heads decapitated. That doesn't stop life from going on for the rest of us and life with no humour just ain't livingNo enjoy the rest of the thread and learn to laugh a little - it's healthy and will help you get over it.
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
Years ago 3 of us were putting plywood down for an attic floor, going to turn it into a bonus room.Steve, (the boss), Eric & I. Plywood is coming thru a dormer window and we're walking it over the joists . Steve no sooner says to be careful when Eric slips on a joist.Plywood goes flying thru the air and Eric's feet go either side of the joist, thru the ceiling sheetrock of the baby's room below, (recently finished, the woman was pregnant), and he lands on his nuts.He's screaming in pain, swearing a blue streak, apolgizing to Steve, and holding his nuts going "Oh s**t!, Oh f**k!, Oh God damnit!, I'm sorry Steve! , Oh S**t!, Oh Jesus Christ!, Oh mother f***er this hurts! You bastards!, What the f**k are you laughing at! Oh S**t! this hurts! Oh, mother of god!I was laughing so hard I was crying. I couldn't
help it. Eric is a mild mannered, soft spoken guy. Never ever heard him like that. Steve ran over to help him up. (I had a sheet of plywood in the air, I was walking behind Eric).We looked down thru the holes and saw sheetrock debris all over the bassinet, and newly laid carpet. Eric was still rubbing his nuts and telling Steve he was sorry and he'd fix it.For the rest of the day..............every now and then.........we'd hear Eric mutter.........oh s**t.Sometimes I ask him if he's up for another attic floor job, and he gives me that "f**k you" look. Rod
I watched a Semi-Wrecker tip over on the operator while he was trying to right a fully loaded Concrete Truck that had tipped over.
He survived, but you are right , accidents are not funny when someone gets seriously hurt or killed.
I stepped off the wrong side of a 2ft step ladder, into a 5 gallon bucket of wallpaper stripper freshly mixed with hot water. Ended up on the floor with an empty bucket on my lap.
Think 3 stooges.
The worst part was the electrician there to witness it.
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
"Think 3 stooges."The stooges were the first thing that came to mind when I read that. LOL!When I was first starting out some years back I was helping to install an alter this friend of mine had restored in his wood shop. It was for a Black Pentecostal church in Brooklyn The minister and his wife were there along with a bunch of church elders just 'ooooing' and 'ahhing' at the beautiful work my buddy and my mentor Bill had done. We had just finished installing it on the big red running carpet that some churches seem to always have and Bill decided to rub some lemon oil into it and could I hand it to him.
I picked up the full glass quart jar of oil and gave it to him and somewhere it got lost in transition and found its way hurtling to the floor. I, being the ever so quick athletic type managed to catch it and then let it slip and tried to catch it once again this time causing it to vault into a graceful arc over everyone's heads and come smashing down onto the freshly shampooed (did I mention that?) carpet. Lemon oil was absolutely everywhere including on the minister's leather shoes and wool pants, a few drops even made it onto the alter.Bill decide right then to turn the air blue with profanity."Oh SH!T!!"...he spat. "Get the FU**ING rags willya?!!""G@D Dammit to Hell, I knew it was going too good..."I glanced up to see looks of astonishment from all those beautiful, heaven bound saints of God, and I knew I was headed over the falls. I lost it completely and awaaaay I went without even a life jacket on.The rest was blur and I don't remember much 'till we got out to the truck, Bill still red as the carpet and I still wiping away the tears, both of us dripping and smelling like Granny's freshly polished hall table.That was over 25 years ago and who knows, maybe this got Bill into heaven and he's polishing fine things in the many rooms I've heard about.I bought him a beer that day. I may have even bought him two.
Roar! Sounds like a nomination for Great Moments in Building History:o)
every court needs a jester
LMAO...
Ok, I'll fess up one that didn't bite me.
Up there in PA is a house outside of Allentown, owned by a Cappo-Bianco..just a shack mind you, like a 6 million dollar shack. He owns the company that makes the Jerseys for NHL players.
I built and installed his Birds eye Maple kitchen...Imean it was the size of my currant house...65 boxes comes to mind.
There I was fitting a 1/4" plywood back panel behing the sub-zero ( B.E.MAple too), with my Stanley block plane, next to the granite island top that was 5' X 16'...and the floor was Imported Eye-talian marble , 3'x3' squares, you know..the cheap stuff.
As I was shooting the edge of the ply, my plane left my hand..like it had wings...as thye whole scene played out in my mind, of what it was gonna cost me if it landed anywhere near me...I instinctivly put my foot under it's chosen path and hacky sacked it back up in the air, now it is floating above that air craft carrier sized island...one nick, and I am toast.
My arm was still on the stroke, so to speak..so I grabbed the plane and carried on keeping on, one swell foop.
My boss was right there, and about passed out. Gaddammit Duane, don't ever do that again..I didn't realize what had happened until it was over, I was thinking, sheet, I just had the iron set where it was sweet cutting, and if I drop it, I gotta re-set the throat...LOLInmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
Well at the risk of evoking the approbation of some of those who don't find such things humorous, I'll add my favorite.
We were working next to a guy who was so cheap he would never hire proper trades. When the roofers showed up, it was obvious they were just a bunch of Joes. They all had big eastwings and were very nervous about climbing up onto the roof deck. Throughout the morning we enjoyed looking over and commenting on their progress. At lunch they all descended, except for one who didn't seem to like the ladder, and thought up a better way. The lot sloped up steeply from just behind the house, so that from the fascia to the ground was only about 8'-0". Not content with dropping down from the edge, he instead headed up to the peak, turned, and ran down like a dervish before launching himself off the roof. He managed to take one giant cartoon-like step before faceplanting himself in the yard. His head was literally embedded in the fill. His buddies pulled him out, loaded him in the pick up and disappeared. Another crew showed up a couple of days later to finish up.
i know i posted this when i did it... but i still think it's pretty funny.... i was loading cast concrete parts onto a pallet that was already on the froks of my bobcat... i was work'n alone just clean'n up an area... i had the pallet at a height that made it easy to move them from the stack to the pallet... next thing i know i'm trapped under the pallet of cast concrete... i'd stacked so much that the whole bobcat tipped over... duuuuhhh... thats why i was stack'n cause it would lift the pile i was pull'n from...
i had my cell phone that i could get to if needed...but the idea of waiting for help and needing it didn't appeal to me... i was trapped in a way that i couldn't push up and tilt it back... BUT i could reach to unload some until it tilted back on it's own...
if someone saw it start to finish it'd have sure been funny...
p
In the 70s I worked for awhile building some gawd-awful FHA homes in a small town in Iowa. The ground was frozen and the "contractor" was adamant that we finish the house, which had a full basement with a fully open no-backfill trench around it. To get to the soffit we leaned scaffold against the house with two legs on the frozen ground and two in space over the trench.
I went to get a tool and turned around just in time to see my helper walk right off the end of the scaffold, fell straight down with the 2x12 he'd been standing on falling beside him. Incredibly, the plank lander on its end still leaning against the scaffold and the helper landed on his feet, stumbled against the now firmly leaning plank, and didn't even fall to his knees. The bottom of the trench was a good 13' below the top of the scaffold he'd been standing on.
We put the plank back and went back to work.
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
~ Voltaire
Years ago we were adding a second level to a house. We had set up pump jacks and an aluminum plank on one side, but because of the shape of the house, we had to let one end of the plank hang out quite a ways past the pump.
My brother's up there, and for some reason even he doesn't know, walks out past the fulcrum point of the plank, and eveything starts to teeter.
He makes a flying leap, arms and legs churning like in a cartoon, the plank comes crashing back to the pump, and he lands and rolls to a safe stop.
We then lashed the plank the the pumps. We do learn from our mistakes <G>
me and the guy I was working with were stripping a cedar shake roof on a stone house one summer. we were tossing it into a dump truck backed up to the house. at one point we opened up a hornet nest. my coworker ran for the edge of the roof, jumped into the dump truck. I slowly moved awaya nd down the ladder. I got stung couple times but I would imagine he had a few nail holes in him from the broken up shakes in the dump body. I think I'll take the honet stings over that.
"it aint the work I mind,
It's the feeling of falling further behind."
Bozini Latini
Ah...a hornet story...yes. Back when my carpentry skills were pretty green I got hired by a friend to work on a barn restoration/TF home in Carmel, NY. Freddy was from Boston and a pusher rather than a thinker. Push until that doesn't work, then stop and consider your options. You know the type. Well, I'm the opposite; the take a minute to look at the problem and figure out the sanest, easiest way to do it, type.
We started the first day by nailing together some long pump jack poles. We were going to remove the siding from one of the barn's end walls which stood about thirty feet high in the middle. We had an aluminum extension ladder which was just long enough to reach up under the eves near the center, one of the spots where we needed to nail on a bracket for a pump jack pole. As I was climbing and pushing the ladder up the wall, I noticed a paper cone hornet's nest, about the size of a football, hanging under the peak of the roof.
"Freddy, we got a problem here."
"Wud iz it, Pe-duh?", replied the big man in his heavy Bostonian accent, already impatient with me.
"There's a big hornet's nest just above where we have to nail this bracket."
"Ah...don worry about it. Those things never bother ya."
"Freddy listen. This isn't a bunch of mud wasps. These are white faced hornets. We gotta spray this nest or else we'll be in serious trouble."
I wasn't even certain that spraying would work but I sure wasn't going to go banging no 16 duplex nails anywhere on that side of the barn, not until those hornets were gone. I'd had my lesson with hornets when I was about seven years old and I well remembered the swelling and pain. On the other hand, Freddy was a city guy who'd only seen docile mud wasps, the slow flying dobbers which almost never sting anyone.
"Pe-duh, just climb up there and nail the damned bracket will ya. I sweah ta Gawd, those things won't bother yuh."
His tone indicated that I was a worthless wimp, but that didn't concern me, not even a little.
"Tell you what Freddy," I said, climbing down the ladder, "If you nail up this one, I'll get all the rest of 'em."
"OK. Fine. Just get off the ladduh and gimme dhat freekin' bracket."
"No problem. Here ya go, maestro."
He made his way up to about three rungs from the top, a good twenty-five feet in the air.
I called up to him, "Before you start nailing, have a look at that football shaped thing under the eves there."
"Yeah...what is dhat thing?" Freddy's eyesight wasn't real sharp and he wasn't wearing his glasses either.
"That's the hornet's nest I've been telling you about."
"Well I don't see any hornets. It's prob-bly an old one. This barn's been he-ah for nearly eighty ye-ahs."
"OK Freddy, just don't say I didn't warn you."
"Pe-duh, how long you been a carpenter now? About six months? I've been doing this for ovah ten ye-ahs."
"Whatever you say, Freddy. But if you don't get stung I'll be very surprised."
"Nah", he said derisively, propping the bracket against the barn and taking out some nails.
It was only an instant after the first swing of the hammer that a line of hornets, the ones that guard the entrance of the nest, came boiling out of that cone and attacked the hand that was holding the hammer. Very focused and very effective, they rapidly and repeatedly stung the back of Fred's hand while the bracket and hammer fell to earth and Freddy began his rapid descent, cursing all the way down. I ran for it and only stopped when I was a good fifty feet away. Within a minute, the back of Fred's hand had grown to the size of a softball. The only remedy I knew, cold mud, wasn't available so we ended up at the Pharmacy.
To his credit, Fred got a can of spray and a sheet of clear plastic which he used to cover himself up before climbing the ladder again and attempting to spray the nest. Wearing a leather glove, he sprayed a stream at it from about ten feet away. Amazingly, the guard hornets tried to follow the spray back to the can but didn't make it before succumbing.
After that, Fred's attitude toward me changed markedly. That was the beginning of a good friendship, one which would see us getting together on jobs numerous times, in various locations around the country. I learned to push a bit harder and Fred learned to look before he lept. Fred Goodall, a memorable character with a good heart and a generous nature. Glad to have worked with you, my friend.
Edited 3/24/2007 12:27 am ET by Hudson Valley Carpenter
OK, many have seen this before, and surely it's urban legend. However, it always gives me a chuckle in consideration of my own silly accidents, and perhaps it will for others as well.
"Dear Sir:I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient.I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs.Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.<!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!---->Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.<!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!---->In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.<!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!---->At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.<!----><!----><!----><!----><!----><!---->Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope."
The Mythbusters TV show on cable examined that brick story on an episode a couple years ago. Apparently the story has been going around for something like a hundred years, with no real proof that it ever actually happened. However, they were able to set up an experiment with a crash test dummy, and they actually made it work (well, at least for the most part.) It was pretty hilarious to watch.
By now, someone's probably posted a copy of the video online somewhere.
Snopes has a thing about the story:http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.aspAccording to them, the story dates back to the 1940s. And there's even a song about it.
The Constitution of most of our states (and of the United States) asserts that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed. [Thomas Jefferson]
If you read the snopes page again, it says a version of the story appeared in a joke book in 1918.
It is one of those great urban legends, plausible enough so it seems like it really could have happened even though there isn't any concrete evidence.
The barrel of bricks/ rope and pulley story is true...I did it myself...only it was done in a Black Locust tree (think Ironwood) with rock climbing gear and a chain saw. I was on an extension ladder that was leaning on the tree cutting off a branch that my buddy Pete was going to lower to the ground with the climbing rope. The rope ran from the branch up through a couple of carabiners near the top of the tree and back down to Pete's climbing harness.Now we knew the branch was heavier than Pete, so we anchored Pete to the hitch of my Chevy Blazer. We also knew that the tree would move when releaved of the weight of the branch, so I was tied into the tree with a sling of webbing.I cut the branch...branch fell down...Pete flew up screaming, his hand jammed into the belay device (a metal figure 8). He was suspended in the air and the harness was squeezing his guts out as he was effectively part of the rope held taunt between the branch that was now on the ground and the Chevy. Both of Pete's hands are rope burned and one is still stuck in the figure 8 and he is hanging about 10' in the air.Meanwhile the unloaded tree bounds up and my ladder falls down with me riding it down...until I ran out of slack on the sling, at which time the ladder left me and I swung like a pendulum back over to the tree with a running chain saw in hand.I smacked into the tree and hung there about 20' off the ground.Pete and I looked at each other as we both hung in the air...badly banged up but alive...and only one limb lost (the tree's).Pete pulled his hand out of the fig. 8 and repelled back to the ground, unhooked himself from the Blazer and stood the ladder back up for me. I unclipped from the tree and climbed down.We later figured that the branch had to weigh several hundred pounds. It had run out of slack as it launched Pete and just reached the ground. If it had not hit the ground when it did Pete really would have had his guts smooshed.
Ouch!
Reminds me of something I did once, although it wasn't carpentry or tree trimming or anything like that...I was water skiing, and decided to take off while sitting on the edge of the dock. I yelled to the guy driving the boat to go, and just as the slack in the rope pulled up I noticed it was looped around my ankle.
The boat yanked me off the dock foot first, and I flew about 15 feet in a big arc before I went into the water. The guy in the boat then dragged me for a few more seconds before he looked around and saw what was going on. That nylon tow rope burned a big groove all the way around my ankle, and cauterized the wound at the same time. I ended up untangling myself and went skiing anyway (I was younger and tougher then) but it hurt like the blazes the next day.
"I was water skiing, and decided to take off while sitting on the edge of the dock"
At my cottage one time we had a bunch of friends up. Some people that work for me, some of my teenage kids friends, cottage was packed. Anyway my sons friends were water skiing and me getting cocky I went to "show them how it was done". I went down put on one ski and started off sitting on the dock. I yelled at the boat hit it, as slid off the dock a nail caught my bathing suit and ripped it clean off. Everyone saw it and of course nearly died laughing.
I and an old friend bought an existing Pest Control Bizness back in the 80's. It was B&L Pest control ( Bernie and Louise, I think)..
any way..we got a call from an Atty. who stated he had a wasp nest in his barn, but he wasn't home, just go and do it.
We arrived, and for the life of us, could not see any wasp nest...then..I spied a spot that looked for all the world to be insulation between the 4' on center rafters. Gray, papery, about 4'x 6' of insulation, up by the ridge....
Sweet mother of jeesus, THAT was the nest. Yup, Bald faced hornets.
We went out again and donned our Bee Suits, you know, with hood and all..and fired up the 3.5 hp termite sprayer pump that is fed by a 55 gallon drum of ( at the Time, Chlordane, Sevin, and Dursban)..well..sevin the best, so I spiked the punch, with as much I thought we could breathe..and we went in.
Now picture a 2000 psi pressure washer with a 50:1 ratio of sevin shooting up at a nest the size of a small Buick..and two guys in white suits.
They came in droves...I mean biblical proportions, they spotted the white suits like kamakazzies to a battle group.
30 second burst of the spray, just got them mad..sevin has zero , ( yeah, like a zero) knock down potential, like a wasp and hornet spray has..we were hammered and hosed.
Some how we got out and back into the truck as the chems took effect. They did all die eventually.
We bid the work over the phone..charged the guy 35.00....duh..I coulda died in there.
Not one sting between us..but god almighty musta been on our side, man it was horrid.Inmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
Back in '86 I was hired to re- roof the dining hall of a remote YMCA camp.The only access to the place was by boat & it was agreed I could use the camp pontoon to haul the 3' x 24' steel sheets to the site
Now the hall was about 100' feet long so we had 60 some sheets to get across the lake. I figured it would take 2 maybe 3 trips to get all the steel over, but as my helper & I started loading the steel it seemed like we could get it all on in one, The pontoon boat hardly settled at all as we loaded sheet after sheet across the railing of the 20' boat. I was amazed my helper & I had gotten all the steel on & we were going to get it all delivered in 1 run.
I fired up the outboard & yelled for Donny to throw off the bow line which he did just as I pulled the slipknot on the stern line.We immediately went "decks awash" as the boat sank right to the bottom sitting at the dock! The lines had been holding the boat up as we grossly overloaded the thing & when we pulled them, down she went. It was a beautiful fall day with no witnesses around so we unloaded her till she was floating again & spent the rest of the day hauling steel a little at a time!
Not during any sort of work:
Getting into one of my original CRX years ago, talking to a friend as we were both getting into the car. Somehow, my timing got off just a little bit. So instead of closing the car door after I was in the seat, I started closing it as I was sitting down. Think for a moment how hard you normally close the door... now put you head in there. The door window caught me just above the ear, and bounced my head into the metal roofline, which then bounced it back into the still closing door, and bounced me back again. And again.
I'm not sure how many times my head bounced back and forth between the two before the door finally pinned my head to roof, then bounced away... leaving me to drop stunned into the Chicago city street slush of winter.
My friend, who didn't see this happen, couldn't understand why I was laughing and crying in pain at the same time,
Rebuilding my home in Cypress, CA
Also a CRX fanatic!
Like Ponytl, I've told this story on BT before. But what the heck - It's been a while?
Ever see the episode of "Home Improvement" where Tim (Allen) Taylor falls through a roof? I've done that.
We had framed a couple of false dormers on a steep roof. After we framed them the boss asked me to cut the plywood out inside them so they would get some airflow. He was pushing us to go faster and faster.
The first dormer was centered on 2 trusses. Reaching through the window opening I cut the ply across the sides and the bottom. But I couldn't quite reach the top. So I put my foot through the window opening and put my weight on the plywood right over the truss. Then I leaned inside to cut out the balance of the plywood.
Then I went to the 2nd dormer, and cut the bottom and sides of the ply as I had before. Again, I couldn't quite reach the top. So I stuck my foot inside the dormer and squeezed through the window opening again.
Trouble was, this particular dormer was CENTERED on 2 trusses. So when I put my weight on the ply it broke off and I fell through the roof.
Fortunately there was a CLB running through the webs a few feet down, and I caught that with my left armpit. I ended up hanging upside down with my left leg still stickout partway out the window and holding onto the brace. I never did let go of the saw.
That was a hard lesson - I could have fallen and gotten killed. But it taught me to NOT let some tight-a$$ed SOB rush me.
Experts say 86% of people who watch pro wrestling on TV think it's real.
This explains why Wile E. Coyote gets so many 'Get Well' cards.
"Getting into one of my original CRX years ago . . . The door window caught me just above the ear, and bounced my head into the metal roofline, which then bounced it back into the still closing door, and bounced me back again. And again."Now that wouldn't have happened in a domestic vehicle. :^)I did once slam a thumb into a Jeep Cherokee door when closing it. Unfortunately, I'd locked the door too, and in the days before keyless entry. Took me a few moments before I could unlock the door and release my thumb. :^):^)soj
Since we are talking hornets, I will add mine:
Had a great HO wanted to build a custom home in the woods outside of town, and me being the farmboy at one time I was all about it. We cleared the area for the house and the HO decided to thin out some trees and brush around the house so that they could have some grass for their goats. So myself on the skid steer and my grader on the 953 Dozer got back to work while the HO went to go get us lunch.
At some point I look up and see my grader running through the woods towards the trucks, so I instinctively go over to see what was the problem. As I arrive I begin to feel his pain. You see we have yellow jackets here in the backwoods of NC and they nest in the ground, so when a steel track of a 953 rattles their nest the hornets tend to get a little upset. Now the grader and myself are both sprinting towards the trucks and flailing all the appendages we could. But the bees being smart decide to get inside our pants legs and shirt sleeves and continue stinging the heck out of us.
So what do you do? Why take off the vast majority of your clothes to get rid of the bees of course. After a few minutes we decide it is safe to exit the vehicles and go retrieve our pants and shirts that we left behind during the 1/4 mile sprint to the truck. Picture this, 2 grown men walking away from a truck while wearing only their skivvys, and you know who pulls down the driveway.
All you can tell the homeowner is, "You ARE moving to deliverance country, so you have to act like the natives." A good laugh by all in the end, along with quite a few welts, and to this day the HO still tells every one of my clients that story when I use them as a reference.
I had just bought my first home ..ever. My wife and her Girl friend were out back in swim suits getting sun on a nice June day.
My dog found a chipmunk and had it in her mouth and came up to the girls with it. I had been digging and had a shovel when they squealed for me to come over and "save" the chipster.
I told the dog to "out" and she faithfully spit the critter at my feet..when I took a stab w/ the shovel to behead the little beast and save it from more drool and slobber..it darted up my pants leg.
I felt it's itty bitty toenails, scampering up towards the jewels, so I grabbed my leg, both above and below its location. And began hopping and shaking, trying to dislodge it.
About that time the girls started yelling " TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS" at full crescendo. Well, I didn't wear BVD's or tighty whities back then, so I dropped trousers..and got the critter out.
Then I looked over my shoulder, and saw my neighbor, for the first time...she never looked at me the same after that day.Inmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
"Then I looked over my shoulder, and saw my neighbor, for the first time...she never looked at me the same after that day."So how DOES she look at you now? ;-)
I realized after I posted that that I got tongue tied...LOL
I, uh, made her pregnant, about 3 months later. My wife was OK with it for awhile, but her husband wasn't so nice about it.Inmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
And I return in kind LMAO...Funny as hell. I had a snake start up my pant leg once but pulled him out in time. Never a chippie though.Ok I thought of another..(give me enough time and I'll start to remember enough for all night).Princeton NJ. Taking a kitchen out to put a new one in my buddy and I were removing all the old cabs and most were dumpster bound. I asked if she wanted the old microwave and she said no, the thing was ancient and about as big as a conventional oven. It was also built in. We pryed and tugged and eventually smashed it to bits in place, some installer was over zealous with the screws. I grabbed the major part of its remains and headed outside to the dumpster where I threw it in. I didn't know it at the time but while hoisting it down and toting it out, the capacitor from the thing had been knocked loose and somehow found its way into the major nail bag of my leather tool pouch.
A few minutes later we were standing in the now mostly gutted kitchen and I asked my bud, "You smell smoke?"
"No", he said. So we threw ourselves into the initial sweep up. "You don't smell that?", I asked, "something's burning.""Jesus, you're on fire!", he yelled. "Yer butt's on fire!!" He fell outside and started rolling and shrieking in laughter.I keep my bags pulled around the back of me, and sure enough, there was the shorted out capacitor sparking and coughing and an actual flame had lept up from some receipts that I had stuffed there and had forgotten.
My azz was ok, and the nailbag got a little color, but mostly my laughing bone was plum wore out. It lasted the rest of the day with one or the other of us starting and then the both of us rolling into peals of laugher.
That must have been quite a sight, me dancing around, in a posh neighborhood lawn struggling to get out of my tool belt with smoke billowing out my azz. Three stooges again.Laughter had to be medicinal, otherwise I wouldn't do it so much
Snort...hahaha
Hey when the wife askes you to cut that wire shelving stuff...don't do that wearing a flannel shirt and an angle grinder, while wearing yellow safty glasses...cuz you can't see the sparks, and flannel has a real propensity to ignite, and it too has a yellow flame. I was walking into the house, flagrantly, on fire.
Edit for sloppy diction
Inmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
Edited 3/23/2007 8:14 pm ET by Sphere
A couple of years ago, a co-worker and I were sent out to put vinyl siding on an older two story home. There was a patio behind the house with a huge built-in pool only about 10 feet away from the house. The homeowner provided us with a tarp to cover the pool with to keep any debris out. Unfortunately, the tarp was the same color gray as the concrete patio. As we were installing the tarp, I told Gary, "One of us will end up falling in this pool before the day is over because the tarp looks so much like the concrete." I am not known for my ESP capabilities but this time I was right on target.
Later in the day, Gary was helping me move a 40 foot ladder into position and, sure enough, into the pool I went. I fell into the deep end and went straight to the bottom with the weight of a 40 foot fiberglass ladder holding me under. Gary saw this happen and was initially laughing too hard to help. After he saw that I was trapped, he pulled the ladder off and I surfaced. I was only under for a few seconds but it seemed a lot longer. I was not injured but the day was unseasonably cold for Tennessee in September and I thought that I would end up hypothermic before quiting time rolled around.
My old boss liked to send carpenters out to do all kinds of things like trim trees and other miscellaneous work in the name of saving money but somehow it always ended up costing more. So these two guys are cutting limbs off of a big Silver Maple to make room for this addition. They're up in the tree with a sawzall. One of them got a little carried away and dropped a large limb right on the overhead power lines.KABOOM! It pulls the mast right off the house, contacting one of the poles in the meter box so the mast is hot and arcing. The lines fall right at the base of the tree and they really don't want to get down. They had a cell phone and called the fire department and power company and then just sat there waiting. It took about an hour for NSP to show up and rescue them.
Back inmy taveling days I had a Buddy who thought it was cool to keep a fistfull of big old strike anywhere matches in his jeans pocket. He could light up from friction on the thigh of his jeans, or use his thumbnail, or the sole of his boot - whatever. Basically he thought he was impressive but was only imprssing himself with his showcase talent.Anywaays, one day we are standing after work with some other guys shooting the breeze, when all at oncce, he strts jumping around, hollering, and slkapping himself on the thigh. I think a bee or hornet got him, but it turned out that two of the matches heads rubbed each other enough to strike anywhere and anywhere happened to be in his pocket where a bunch of other matches decidded to share the glory.After that, he sstarted to light his cigarettes the same way everyone else did.
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
I recently closed my knee in the door of my van up by the hinge between the door and the console plastic. no damge but was a bit sore for a day. felt pretty dumb."it aint the work I mind,
It's the feeling of falling further behind."Bozini Latini
>I recently closed my knee in the door of my van up by the hinge between the door and the console plastic. no damge but was a bit sore for a day. felt pretty dumb.<Hopefully I've made you feel less dumb! And if you're still feeling a bit chagrined, let me just say this: vinyl-floored truck, liberal amounts of Armor All applied to said floor unbeknownst to me . . . well, I think you know where that one's going. Yeah, do this kind of stuff often enough and you cease to feel stupid, and instead just look around for witnesses.:^)soj
Years ago when I taught construction and woodworking in a high school I was demonstrating the use of a Makita 16" beam saw. I told them to be careful to make sure the cord was not in the way. After doing that I lined up the saw and attempted to cut the beam and then I was surprised when the saw blade hardly moved and then the class started laughing when we realized I had cut the extension cord.
Ah yes, I remember the first vehical that was mine alone: A basic brown Chevy pickup truck. Absolutely nothing special about it. But it was mine, and I was so happy I spent the day waxing and polishing it inside and out.
That included a ton of Armor All on the rubber floor mats, as well as the smooth vinal seats. Was pretty funny just moving the truck a short distance and nearly falling to the floor when I stopped - and I was holding the stearing wheel! The best was going and picking up my friends, some of which didn't think wearing seatbelts were cool. "Oookaay then" <brakes> SKREEEETCH - thud... skiter, shuffle, thud... "Hey, I can't get up!" I seemed to have created a near frictionless surface on the inside of the truck cab.
Then I went and got it stuck in mud down to the axles. Ahh youth.Rebuilding my home in Cypress, CA
Also a CRX fanatic!
one of my best buds in HS had a hotrod '67 Buick Skylark ...
pretty much every weekend ... he'd armorall the back seat ... then we'd go pick up "stoneTony" ... 'cause he was always stoned.
kid's head musta weighed more than his body ... 'cause every time John nailed the brakes ...
stoneTony would end up upsidedown ... his feel straight up in the air and his head down behind one of our seats.
stoneTony was alotta fun ... not much use with conversation but fun to watch.
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
Yes, it was always fun doing a "Brake Check" when someone was sleeping in the center rear seat of the car. They usually gained consiousness about halfway throught their arc, just in time to realize they were about to eat seat, but not enough time to put their hand up to stop themselves.
Ahh, youth.Rebuilding my home in Cypress, CA
Also a CRX fanatic!
John could launch stoneTony 3 times in 15 minutes.
man ... that was a fun kid to hang out with!
(plus ... good looking guy ... attracted chicks like flies to honey)
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
I can remember me and a buddy flying up to his cottage when we were in high school in his moms malibu. His girlfriend sleeping in the back while my buddies doing 100mph passing cars on hills with his fingers crossed hoping no one was coming. One time we got the idea to swerve all over the road and scream like we were getting in an accident. Scared the sh#$ out of his girlfriend.
"Yeah, do this kind of stuff often enough and you cease to feel stupid, and instead just look around for witnesses."
Looking for witnesses...been there done that. lol.
This one didn't happen to me, but I was the witness.
The action takes place 5' away from me in a rental shop parking lot. I've just climbed back into my workvan: front row seat.
Contractor-type guy is unloading a big azz jackhammer from a PU onto a wheeled dolly. I notice the Dolly is slightly tilted against the tailgate, which raises the dolly platform off the ground. I know what is about to happen, but it's already too late to say anything.
BONK on his head goes the dolly's steel handle as the jackhammer is lowered onto the platform.
First thing guy does is stagger then he looks up to see if I'd witnessed his boneheaded move.
Being in a charitable mood, I gave him my best 'been there done that' look and drove away.
"Being in a charitable mood, I gave him my best 'been there done that' look and drove away."That was you?:^) soj
there was a time when i was always in a hurry to get home .
well i pulled a cord from the wall about ten feet from the recepital and bam the large end hit me in the head and sent me to my knees .
i am never in a hurry to leave anymore
Might have been...
Mirror, mirror, who is the dumbest of them all?
;-)
Well, if nothing else, this thread has made it clear that there's a bunch of guys out there who will never play in the NHL or NFL, given the running tally in the concussion count.And they say race-car driving is dangerous. (With or without armor-all coated interior.)Amateurs. :^)soj
That's funny.
I drive a Subaru. They don't have frames around the windows, so when the window is rolled down, there's a lot of open space. One nice summer day, I discovered the ugly way that my body was used to my car, because I went to get in my wife's Toyota, and as I got in, I leaned over and pulled the door closed ... into my face...which knocked my glasses off. I had to get my wife to come out to help my find my glasses, which meant I had to explain just why I'd closed the door on my own head...
My brother's got an old Honda with the motorized shoulder belts, and frameless window glass.
I always love to stick my head out the window, open the door, and the automatic motorized retractor wraps the shoulder belt around my neck, pulling me towards the glove compartment.
Who says safety isn't fun?
Forrest
that explains EVERYTHING!After nailing yourself like that, you decided it would be good to have your head screwed on right - right?
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
OK, I'll add my "most embarassing moment"...
I was 15 years old and helping my Dad build his first spec house (he decided to quit farming and build houses at the age of 50). One afternoon I was staining the underside of the cedar deck on the back of the house with redwood-color stain (oil-based, of course). I was using a 6-foot step ladder with the gallon can of stain on the top step.
The ladder was unstable because it was on gravel (we had not poured the back porch below the deck yet. I decided to get down to adjust the feet of the ladder and...you guessed it...the entire gallon of red stain fell off the ladder upside down on my head. A direct hit!
As I stumbled upstairs to get help, my Dad literally fell on the floor laughing! It took a whole pile of rags and about a half-gallon of paint thinner to get most of the stain off my hair and face, but I was as red as an Indian for the next week or so. Mom thought it was pretty funny too. Fortunately it was during the summer so I didn't have to go to school that way.
Speaking of dropping paint cans, upon graduating from HS, I accepted a job to paint a large clapboard house (mansion, really). I was working on a ladder about 20' up, painting some pretty intricate soffit brackets. I had an almost-full gallon can of paint hanging off the ladder, which was standing on the flagstone porch surface. I needed to shift the bucket to the other side of the ladder and when doing so, to my horror, it slipped out of my fingers and headed down. I had visions of a gallon of white oil paint splattered all over a previously beautiful flagstone porch -- how the heck was I going to clean that mess up? Kiss my college tuition goodbye! Unbelievably, the can landed exactly flat on its bottom, the paint rose up like those slow motion films you've probably seen of a rock being dropped into water, and fell back down into the bucket. If a drop escaped to soil the flagstone, I couldn't find it! To this day, I'm amazed at the sheer luck of that one.
On the same job, I had to paint about 50 louvered shutters that had been painted so many times before, the homeowner wanted me to strip them first. I bought about 5 gallons of stripper and had it sitting in the garage. One afternoon, a buddy stopped by to gab and I pulled the 'ol Tom Sawyer deal on him and got him to lend a hand painting for a while, "just 'cause it's so much fun". He'd never painted before and ended up with more paint on him than on the siding. When he'd had enough, he needed to clean up and, since this was oil paint, I told him to head to the garage where I had some thinner and rags he could use for the job. Well, you know what happened -- he pours paint stripper all over his arms and hands and lathers up. A few minutes later, he comes heading out moaning and cursin', arms and hands red. It was only then that I remembered the stripper and understood that he'd neglected to read the labels on the cans. Fortunately, there was a hose handy and we hosed him down before any real damage was done, totally soaking him in the process. Could've been more serious than it was, but even he thought it was funny at the time. (Still, he never did offer to help again. :)
Mike HennessyPittsburgh, PA
Mike,
That is why I don't hang with you painters too often. I think the fumes have gotten to most of you over the years.
When I was in the navy I was painting on the upper deck, forget what I was painting but I had poured some shipside grey paint into a coffee can. We were tied up across the harbour in our home port of Esquimalt BC. It got to be close to lunchtime so I was returning my brush and the open coffee can of paint to the paintlocker. About halfway there I stepped on the top step of a ladder to go down a deck and the lights went out. Apparently one of those greasy gunners had dripped oil on the ladder and not cleaned it up. When I came to, the first thought that entered my mind was "Why did she throw me out of bed?". I pushed up from the deck only to find that I was lying in a surprisingly large pool of grey paint and a lot of blood. Thankfully I was right in front of the Docs office and he had some of my mates lift me in to the examining table. The Doc knew I was cut somewhere but he couldn't tell where, so he sent one of my buddies up to the paint locker for 2 five gallon pails of varsol. Next thing I knew he tells me to climb into the bathtub full of ten gallons of varsol..... You want to talk about some body parts climbing deep up inside and other parts slamming shut..... Anyways, eventually I get cleaned up enough for him to see where all the blood is coming from, my face had a 2" gash on the upper left cheek close to my eye. He gets me layed out on the examining table and has a couple guys holding me down and is about to start sewing and then he suddenly shakes his head and mutters something like "I can't do this", and calls an ambulance and sends me to the base hospital to get sewn up. Course there was this real cute nurse over there that held my hand the whole time :)Bagtown
EnerGreen Builders Co-op
Sackville, NB
Back when I did theatre in college, we were doing a musical, and I had a low man on the totem pole job as a lighting stage hand. One of my jobs was to "warm up" the spotlight operators... basicly, I ran around the stage for a minute or two, trying to fake them out so the spotlight would be where I wasn't. The two of them were very good, I could never shake them. There was one cue that took place in the audience - the spotlights had to come on exactly on the correct spot. So I told them over the headset - a wired headset - to kill the spots and get ready for my cue from the house.
In a strange confluence of events (or "how likely was this to happen... apparently very likely") the spotlights turned off, the stagelights also went into blackout, and I took my first step down the stairway. My second step was into space.
All the spotlight operators heard over headset was "Aaaaaaaaahhhh - GAACK" as my body hit the ground... but my head did not as it was supported by the headset cable wrapped around my neck. Just a twisted ankle and a health respect for gravityRebuilding my home in Cypress, CA
Also a CRX fanatic!
I had a 12' plank on two ladder jacks with one end a couple feet beyond the outside jack. Using that plank 'for all it had' I had reached/stepped too far out on it to nail something when I got a sinking sensation...
The other end of my plank had started to teeter totter up and I dropped the tools and board I was holding and pulled my best 'soul arch' backwards to right myself. My skills as a surfer definitely saved me a fall as I stepped quickly back and the plank whammed down on the other jack...
Woman across the street was walking her dog by at that instant and seeing me pull off the manouver let out a big "WHOAAA!"
Ok..one more along those lines.
We did a slate roof last winter and had the pump jacks set up on the back fill...frozen mud. Clay mud at that.
We had a hoist that we'd ferry the slate up with that is your basic Harbour Freight 500lb lift, cable winch.
As we were working and loading the walk pics with slate we felt something going awry....seems a post ( alum pumpjacks) had sunk in the thawing goo. We tried our damnedness to get it out, but the suction was too much for us..so we built a tower of scaffold next to it and hooked up the winch. Pulled that sucker like a bad tooth.
It was 3' down in the muck, and it's foot is still there.
Derr...put good squash blocks under the poles.
Inmate # 40735 At Taunton Federal Penitentiary.
Edited 3/23/2007 6:20 pm ET by Sphere
This didn't happen to me, luckily, but to a guy I used to work with. A great guy actually, but if there was going to be some sort of screw-up on the job, he was going to be involved in it somehow.
Anyway, he was working by himself one Saturday, panelizing walls on the floor in the the shop. He had taken his apron off and thrown it on one of the benches since he really didn't need it. All the stock had been pre-cut and he was just nailing it all to the layout marks with the nail gun. Well, he had a really bad habit of holding the gun with his finger on the trigger so as he's stepping around/over the wall assembly on the floor, the gun tip brushes against the toe of his boot that he's standing on! You guessed it, the gun went off and the nail goes through his boot and the fleshy part of his foot and into the floor. Now his hammer is in the loop on his apron which is on the bench, about 3" further away than he can reach. He was stuck there for 20 minutes untill someone came by the shop to get something and pulled the nail. How he didn't cause more damage to his foot, I'll never know but he cleaned it up, put a gauze pad on it, put his boot back on and finished out the day! God must really have been keeping an eye on him that day!
BILL
I actually watched my boss, (when I was an apprentice) cut off the board he was standing on, (while he was yelling at me) and watched him drop 15' on to a large dog.
Some of these stories have been gems, but that takes the prize. Short, evocative description, with an ending that begs for a sequel.
Yes! I think a lot has to do with the phrase "large dog". Not "big dog", or "sleeping dog".
Give us more!
Forrest
Only once, have I knocked myself out. I was very inexpierienced, so called out for instructions, and was told to throw up some airline.
Arms were pretty big back then, so I figured I could throw about 30' of rolled up line to the peak of the trusses. (large fittings on hose)
Didn't quite get there. It flew between the cords of several trusses, dropped down, and I watched it as it swung towards me. The last thing I saw was the end of the hose.
I think the scar is still there, right between my eyes.
(I still work with some of the crew, they never forget the time)
Edited 3/24/2007 11:08 am by 1muff2muff
Some years ago I was working in a architectural mill shop. I always wore steel toe boots. (have you ever had the edge of a sheet of plywood drooped on your toe).
Well one day I am walking thru the shop and there is a searing pain in the bottom of my foot. I drooped to the floor and looked at my foot and see a drywall screw sticking straight out the bottom. I don't know how it happened because it was'nt attached to anything else.
I yell to one of the guys to bring a cordless drill over and help me out.And you guessed, it he did NOT check to see if it was in reverse first.
Did he at least dimple it correctly into the sole of the shoe, or did he botch that to by overdriving it?
BTW, I feel your pain. A few months back I stepped on a 1/8" drill bit sticking up through a tool bag. It went through the ball of my foot and hit the big bone under it... and bent the bit.
After that, Daddy decided it was time to teach his 5 y.o. daughter how to dial 911!
Rebuilding my home in Cypress, CA
Also a CRX fanatic!
Edited 3/24/2007 1:40 pm ET by xxPaulCPxx
I was building a boulder retaining wall on a slope with a skid loader. My stockpile was on the level at the top of the slope. I would grab a boulder, drive down the hill, turn around carefully and place it, aiming uphill, then head back up.
I set a big stone, lifted my forks to fine-tune it and found myself looking at the sky, going backwards. I lifted the pull-down safety bar thingy, and luckily all reverse motion stopped. Managed to climb out, emptied out my shorts and started to evaluate the situation.
Did I mention that I work by myself?
The skid was just sitting there on its asp end so it wasnt going anywhere. My backhoe was on site, so I grabbed it, pulled the forks down with the loader and got the skid on all 4 feet.
Then I backed the hoe to the end of the forks, pulled the skid up the length of the forks (still held down by the bucket), and repeated the process until the skid was stable.
Managed to finish the day out with no more interruptions, while maintaining a healthy respect for gravity and balance.
Steve
Ok here goes, back some 20 years ago we are framing a new home middle of the summer . We are laying the deck plywood About 86° . No shirt on , I'm running the glue gun. I drop it between the joists " Lay Down" to fetch the gun .You guessed it I have glue stripe on my Hairy chest. Boss says don't stop let it dry just keep hauling #### kid.End of the day i go home and Tear the glue off, hair and all. So now I do have a racing stripe. It went left to right on my chest. Like a slash sign.Got to work next day. Showed everbody my wound they started laughing and started calling me Capt. America for the whole job.
Ran a 4 by 24 belt sander over my back. Plug came 'otta the outlet in floor...thought I hit the kill switch...bent over...plugged it in ...and wham....across the bench and right across my back. 20 or so years later and I still have the most beautiful/ugly scar you can imagine.
On to the next knockout. I was 17 and liked to hit things with my new vaughn framing hammer.
I was standing in the deck frame, it about chest high, hitting the underside of a 'too long' joist trying to whack it up into place.
My arm got tired and I missed. I tried to stop the swing but the hammer kept coming. I tried to duck out of the way and hit myself squarely with the face of the hammer, right over my left eye.
I woke up with my dad pressing a rag against my forehead... Then on to the doc's for eight stitches.
MC Hammer was popular at the time and the whole crew kept after me singing, "STOP HAMMER TIME..." at any dull moment there on out..
one of the few times I've was actively involved in knocking myself out.
19 yrs old ... working on a concrete crew. Busting out a pool patio. Boss had gone around with the jack hammer ... us grunts we supposed to pry the chunks loose and barrow them out. I'm running the pry bar ...
I find a piece ... stuck. Jab the 6' bar in ... nothing.
Now. this was my favorite pry bar. Thing was 6ft long ... about an inch and a quarter fat ... hexagon shaped ... and had a prybar/flat end bend to it.
So I jamb my favorite tool in there ... and pull.
Nothing ... think ... this old concrete ain't gonna beat me ... and pull some more.
Nothing ... so ... I get set ... square myself off ... reach straight out ... both arms ... and pull straight back.
nothing.
reset ... pull again ... this time ... arms out ... I even tuck my chin into my chest ... and pull ... Uhhhh .......
and I wake up ... on the ground!
the concrete didn't give way ... the end of the digger was still stuck ... I snapped the bar! No doubt there was a crack to begin with ... just an old over worked tool ...
But I managed to pull that hunk of steel straight into the crown of my head!
Not my forehead ... but the absolute top of my head.
at the time ... I had very long ... very curly ... very puffy hair.
luckily I was wearing my "safety hat" .... aka ... a baseball hat.
I'm pretty sure my hair prevented any permanant damage.
a fact to which my wife will argue.
and that ... was just one of the times I've managed to knock myself out!
Jeff
next entertaining time was demo'ing a plaster ceiling ... I was on a 3ft step ladder ... made some relief cuts ... stuck the pry bar up to loosen that small area ...
ended up on the floor ... dizzy ... blood in my eyes ... from a cut forehead ...
and looked up to see the whole ceiling now demo'd ... all except for the small area I'd cut free!
working alone is great! ... build character ...
called my wife ... started with ... "yer not gonna believe what just happened ..."
Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
Did I tell you about the time I broke my own nose?Too bad - I'm gonna tell again anyways
I had a load of lumber on top of truck and threw the line over from one side to the other and started to cinch up my truckers knot. Lot of lumber so I use both hands to pull good and tight. Put your fists up like yu ar e blowing a trumpet...say six inches away from your nose.The rope broke and both hands full force into the bridge of my nose. Only time I really remember seeing stars
Welcome to the Taunton University of Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime. where ... Excellence is its own reward!
when Corey was right about Hannah's age now ... 3 or 4 months old ... one Sun Nite ... hey, what day is it?
anyways ... 8pm. That I remember ... I'm holding him up ... playing some "make the baby giggle" game ... moving him in and out from my face ...
at one point .. he's about 6 inches from my face ...
we're both giggling ...
and he throws his little head back ... then forward ... hard!
top of his forehead catches the tip of my nose ... solid.
I hear that little "snap" ... inside my head.
see stars ... very deliberate stand up and walk over to Cath, who's sitting in the recliner reading the paper ... and say ...
Here, U take the baby. I think he just broke my nose ...
take a deep breath ... touch it ... and Yup ... broke as broke can be!
took a handful of tylenol and went straight to bed with a sore nose and a splitting headache. Went to work the next day with raccoon eyes ... 2 black eyes ... and a purple nose cone!
Jeff Buck Construction
Artistry In Carpentry
Pittsburgh Pa
I could never figure out how I could spend 30 min. teaching my daughter how to throw a ball when she was little and she couldn't get it to go 10 ft.Then out of the blue-120 mph uncatchable change up fastball in the crotch.When you pick a kid up and they wiggle their feet-20 lb. kid can drop a 200 lb. man like a bad habit.The government ought to put warning labels on 'em before you take them home from the hospital.
Mine wasn't acually an accident at all.
Antoher carp and I were getting ready to hang fascia on the eaves of a house with a shed roof, 2/12 pitch , easy walking .
House was built over a small canyon so the eaves were 30+ ft in the air and when one looked over the roof edge the ground just fell away from the house down into the canyon.
We had sheeted the roof from high side down until we were within 4 ft. of the eave line , packed the fascia up onto the roof, no problems, everybody was fine.
We grab the fascia and slide it down toward the edge of the roof.
My partner inches his way to the edge, takes one look over and freezes! Absolutely frozen in a sudden panic attack when he looked over the edge. Spread eagles himself on the roof and starts pushing himself back up slope with his fingers.. telling me he can't do it , can't get near the edge.
I am laughing so hard at him I am crying as he lays there on the roof, sprawled flat and looking for all the world like a startled spider trying to back out of a surprising situation.
He backed all the way up the roof , all 26 ft of slope with me laughing and crying so hard I couldn't even stand up .
He swore the whole time he was backing up that when he got to where he could stand up he was going to kick my a%% for laughing at him.
This is about 'The day smoking saved my father's life.'
When I was about 17 I was working with my dad building the house they lived in after I took off to school and whatnot.
We were sheetrocking the skylight bays and needed to rip some long 2x 'shims' to furr out up in the bay. My dad was pushing a long 2x4 on a diagonal cut thru the screaming little makita table saw without its fence. Near the end of his cut, from the other room I hear the saw start binding and protesting. I looked around the corner just in time to see it kick one of the long pieces, pointy-end-first right into the middle of his chest, knocking him back to a stumble onto his butt.
I ran over "Are you OK!?" shut off the saw and he stood up brushing himself off.. "Yeah, I think so..." Ol' dad had taken quite a blow--I couldn't believe he wasn't hurt.
An hour or so later we stepped out side for a break and he reached into his shirt pocket pack of Marlboro reds and pulled out half a cigarette... Then another... and another...
Puzzled, he pulled the whole pack out and discovered it must have absorbed the blow from the 2x kicking back out of the saw, crushing every smoke in the full pack, in his left shirt pocket, just about right over his heart!
And that's the story of how smoking saved my dad's life..
20 years later and thankfully he doesn't smoke any more. But, he'll always tell that one when smoking comes up.