I have a nosy neighbor, walks up behind me frequently quiet as a mouse and then puts his hand on my shoulder and says ‘hi’. Very friendly guy, But scary as hell when he appears out of thin air. Today I forgot to lock my side door behind me, normally when he comes over to monopolize my time I’ll let him knock for about 1 minute then he usually gives up. Today he tried the door and let himself in. In my yard this freindly neighbor bit is frightening enough but now in my house!! I amost swallowed my tongue. I’m devising to make a catapult in the walk way between our yards it only has to launch him about 10 feet backwards and he’s in the middle of his yard. Of course 100 feet and I could put him in someone elses backyard. How do I deal with this guy just tell a nice guy to back off and stop stocking me. Ask him to call before he comes over, I’ve been hinting at this already. Now he’s writing letters of jibberish about the new christian persuasion, a paper mill that closed 30 years ago and spiritual poems about animals. And to top things off he now calls himself my ‘chainsaw neighbor’ b/c one time watched me cut down a tree in my backyard. Maybee if I dig a tiger trap he’ll be my tiger trap neighbor or at least get caught in it. Just venting sorry
Discussion Forum
Discussion Forum
Up Next
Video Shorts
Featured Story
Fine Homebuilding's editorial director has some fun news to share.
Featured Video
Highlights
"I have learned so much thanks to the searchable articles on the FHB website. I can confidently say that I expect to be a life-long subscriber." - M.K.
Replies
The guy sounds unbalanced. Sounds like a job for Ann Landers! Seriously, I'm not good at setting boundaries myself and would have trouble with this, but I think you need to tell him. I went to a counselor in my first marriage (see how well that worked) who suggested making statements like, "When you do such and such (follow me into my house), I feel such and such (like you are invading my space), and I need you to such and such (not enter my house without knocking on the door." It seemed to work; if course I was dealing with only moderately insane family members. You could folow it by shrugging and saying, "I guess it's just a quirk with me, but I really need my space." At least if you talk to him, if it escalates you can tell the authorities that you plainly told him not to do it. (Just like when a woman has to make it clear to someone doing sexual harassment that she had plainly told the accused to stop.)
Post this on Breaktime and you'll get answers like: "Yeah, a catapult and here's how to build it", or "catapult, nothing, you need a booby trap where a spring loaded plank with sharpened stakes smacks him when he steps over the property line," or, "Just fire a couple rounds at his feet". (Sorry, Gunner! ;-) All valid suggestions, just a little more, uh, extreme than I think is necessary (at this point). You could start jumping and doing a Karate-type "Kiii!" when he comes up behind you. I worked at a bus company that had a dispatcher who would cold cock anyone who came up behind him (had been in the army in Vietnam).
I would seriously consider talking to the police if he is entering your house uninvited! This could escalate into something serious (besides a mild scare) if left unchecked.
He sounds like the type of guy all the neighbors tell the reporters "He seemed like such a quiet guy..." after the graves are discovered in his backyard!
mimi
This sounds like my neighbor, Mr. Friendly out front, when he's (constantly) sweeping his sidewalk, but Mr. Pervert out back, since I woke from a nap and found him standing on his roof peering into my bedroom watching me sleep.
Also just venting. No apologies.
I would recommend against a catapult. They are fun to build but he would have to be in just the right spot for it to work, and if he got hurt he would be calling himself your "lawsuit buddy". A better way might be to dig a moat and fill it with piranha. They won't crawl out like alligators so if he get's bit he would have to be trespassing, and if he falls in and is eaten- no more annoying neighbor, (or evidence). Rig a draw-bride that could work off a remote control so you do or don't allow people to come across. Problem solved, fill in the moat and hope someone better moves in. It worked pretty well in Europe for a thousand years or so.
Andy
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"
I've even been dumping all my snow in his normal route, it doesnt even phase him. Most recently on this past saturday I removed the landing at the side entrance of my house. There wasn't anything there but dust in the air when Bob came to my side door and tried to open it as 'usual'. How stupid of me not to lock it while I did this I should have known that I'm never home 'alone' anymore. Make a long story short I had to yell at him to turn back around as he was planning to step on what used to be the landing. Luckily by the end of the day my landing was remodeled and Bob was not on the ground in my basement. I think I'm going to build my back yard on more of a slope from his house to help shed rainwater in the spring and I can Ice it down in the winter to keep him stuck at the bottom of my hill.
he was planning to step on what used to be the landing. Luckily by the end of the day my landing was remodeled and Bob was not on the ground in my basement.
Well, looks liked you missed your chance to solve the problem once and for all! ;-)
I'm afraid he might be more persistant as a ghost. I was kind of thinking that at one point. I could never hurt him, well I'd definitely feel bad anyways. He is really a nice guy but has actualy been retired for 35 years, he's only early 70's so just imagine what you'd do all day for that long. No wonder people retire at 65 at most you've got 25 years. By the time he's dead he'll have almost been retired twice as long as he's lived.
OK - lets say the catapult ended up being a good idea... Check out http://www.siege-engine.com/ They should have the info you need to fling stuff at your neighbor.
... or you could tell him "the voices in my head keep telling me to clean the guns".
- If he laughs, he is probably an OK guy
- If says "me too", call the cops next time he puts his big toe on your property
I'd call the police today, ask them what to do if he comes in your house again. they may know more about this guy than you do. I'd be pretty persistant with the police about what your options were. doesn't sount like the kind of person you want to take chances with.
Early in the fall we had a windy day, I had a tree in need of cutting. So I started the process. Out came Bob to see what the commotion was all about. I explained the tree was to come down. We talked about how I was using a rope to guide it down precisely between two healthy trees and to also be sure that we didn't harm anyones fences. It was agreed, I let him have his little speach about tree cutting in the 60's and I was on my way or so I thought. I was gassing up the chainsaw and was heading over to the tree. Bob was underneath of my guide rope with a wheelbarrow picking rocks out of the dirt. I gave him a minute to be out of the way. Finaly he was out dumping the rocks and I started to cut. This is a gas chainsaw, no quiet electric ones just a screaming loud chainsaw. Half way through the tree I glanced up and saw none other than Bob standing right under the guide rope again. I thought the sound of the saw might trigger some sort of survival insticts, aparently not. Luckily my other neighbor know Bob well enough and kind of kept him to the side until the tree was down. Now I'm letting Bob give the wood to a friend of his, I had explained he was free to do what he liked with it but I was not getting involved as I am 10 months into a full restoration of my house and I just don't give a @$%# about a tree that could easily be cut by anyone. First I was can I have the tree, then it was I've got someone coming to pick up the wood, then I've got someone with a chainsaw to cut it, the it became a "were going to work on the tree" loosely implying myself and yesterday It was officially "YOU CAN cut up the tree with a chainsaw I've borrowed for you" How did I ever become the guy wanting all of this stuff done?
So your neighbor's a stocker? Just because your hearing is bad you blame him for scaring you? Ok entering your house without an invite is a mild concern, tell him "please don't come into my home uninvited". If he wants to write poems about animals fine. If he wants you to read or listen to them politely tell him your not interested. Sounds like he is a lonely, friendly neighbor. You should be thankful someone actually likes you. It could be a lot worse complaining that your tree is dropping leaves into his yard, only to find out next year your tree is dead. Your noisey barking dog suddenly runs away!? Make the best of it.
Jeff
He's not a relative of yours by anychance?