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Discussion Forum

Private Lessons & Answers

Frankie | Posted in General Discussion on March 4, 2006 05:39am

Do you guys get requests from lurkers, mostly, via e-mail for private tutoring? I have been getting a lot recently – from members who don’t or rarely post – for instruction.

As much as I am complimented by the request, I feel advice given by this Forum is more valuable when vetted by other members but also because it can help many rather than only an individual.

Is this private tutoring route a result of the “Me, Me, Me” spirit where someone in need only thinks of themselves and wants undivided attention? How would this not be acheived through the Forum process?

Or is it thought that a response would be quicker if it did not go through the FHB site and rely on my logging on?

Any thoughts?

Frankie

There he goes—one of God’s own prototypes—a high powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.

—Hunter S. Thompson
from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

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Replies

  1. DanH | Mar 04, 2006 05:42pm | #1

    When I was posting on USENET a lot I would get a lot of requests for info/instruction. Even after I stopped, I found that a lot of my posts had been "pirated" onto various private sites and I'd still get questions about garbage disposers, lightbulbs, etc. Haven't had one for 6 months or so, though.

    Don't recall ever getting a request for info due to this site.

    If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people

    happy?

    1. Frankie | Mar 04, 2006 07:20pm | #3

      May be a way to skirt a Copyright issue. Hhmmm...FThere he goes—one of God's own prototypes—a high powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.—Hunter S. Thompson
      from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

  2. User avater
    BillHartmann | Mar 04, 2006 06:01pm | #2

    I haven't figured this out either.

    Sometimes they think that it is not "worthy" of the forum. Or possibily they don't want to look stupid. I usualy have gotten those kind when I post something like "this is not really my area, but I have experience, or in my house I found, or this is what I did, but there might be better options".

    I have gotten them in forums where there where private messaging of mone type or another that you still had to log on to get.

    My response is almost always been; "For many reasons it is best to ask this in the forum for many reasons. Such as many others will leanr from this and others that see this might have better solutions or see some that I have missed".

  3. MrBill | Mar 04, 2006 07:41pm | #4

    Frankie,

     I get that a lot on the automotive forums that I frequently visit. I tell  them that they will get information if posted on the forum, and the information will help others,  and leave it at that. It does get aggravating at times.

    Bill Koustenis

    Advanced Automotive Machine

    Waldorf Md

    1. brownbagg | Mar 04, 2006 09:03pm | #5

      I know one auto forum and a couple hvac forum, where is you ask a basic or stupid question. They will flame you for forty posts. It be alot easier just to answer your question. so I can see both sides of it. But alot of private message I just dont reply. dont have time too.. 2+3=7

      1. JMadson | Mar 04, 2006 09:10pm | #6

        I think it does relate to a new selfishness in people. But you could also attribute it to the different way in which people learn. I do well with the forum because everyone here does a good job answering questions and that's all I need. A lot of posters add pictures too, which really helps me. Others need hands on tutoring and maybe this site is just a bunch of words to them. Actually, If I had the chance to go to a large scale cabinet shop for a week or two, I could learn so much more than I could ever learn from one-on-one experience with a tutor.

      2. Lansdown | Mar 04, 2006 09:14pm | #7

        That's what I was thinking too. They just want a simple answer sometimes and not a baptismal ritual.

        1. Lateapex911 | Mar 04, 2006 09:24pm | #8

          I figured I'd just try to get a job on Mike Smith's crew and work hard and absorb all th wisdom I could!

           

          (i forgot to change the "to" part of the post from TGNY to "all" and they won't let you on edit, sorry.)

          Jake Gulick

          [email protected]

          CarriageHouse Design

          Black Rock, CT

          Edited 3/4/2006 1:25 pm ET by Lateapex911

          Edited 3/4/2006 1:25 pm ET by Lateapex911

          1. MikeSmith | Mar 04, 2006 10:20pm | #9

            you got that right , we taught cadioli enough so he could go back to Oz and become a builder..

            he didn't want to grow a ponytail like roy , though.. how 'bout you ?

            me, i just do whatever roy and chuck tell me to doMike Smith Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore

  4. Piffin | Mar 04, 2006 10:25pm | #10

    Of the side amils I get thru this site-

    I'd say a fourth are in suupport of something I said in some controversy or other which is sometimes encouraging and sometimes just distractng

    Probably a good third of them or more are from people who are shy about asking in public or like BB mentioned, afraid of being flamed over what they might percieve to bea stupid Q, But I have rareely seen any stupid questions asked here. Occasionally I will answer these offline if the persson ids themselves and is polite.

    Some of them are basicly an order form for information or instructions how to do...with no manners or understanding that this site is volunteers offering thmeselves for free. I totally ignore those idiots

    and the final number of side contacts are from regulars here with more priovate comments like I sent to a couple of you just recntly, about things that are more private than needs to be said in public or things that are of no benefit to anyone else

     

     

    Welcome to the
    Taunton University of
    Knowledge FHB Campus at Breaktime.
     where ...
    Excellence is its own reward!

  5. Hazlett | Mar 05, 2006 03:26pm | #11

     Frankie,

      occassionally questions arising out of this forum

    Last summer and fall, quite a few questions---demands  actually, arising out of a FHB article.

     Demands that I call them back immediately----on the other side of the country and diagnose their obscure problem instantly LOL

     The first guy I called back--------- I didn't know what I was in store for---- no idea what the call was really about ( I occasionally have people call from out of state to arrange for me to do work on houses they still own up here)

     After the first guy kept me on the phone for  about a half hour--- me trying to be polite--- but basically repeating the same stuff over and over to a guy just not taking the hint------ now I don't call em back.

     initially on the first one---for the first few minutes I was kind of flattered

     but then the  guy became increasingly argumentative----and I realized---this guy just tapped me for a half hour long distance phone call---a half hour of MY time---and HE is the one PO'ed? LOL

     I think you are correct----it's part of the MEMEMEME thing. They simply see you as a public resource which exists  solely to serve them. they aren't exactly bad people---just a bit un-thinking.

    Regaurding E-mails arising out of this site. I don't get many. with 2 exceptions they have been quite pleasant----there are some really stand-up folks here.

     Best wishes, Stephen

    1. DanH | Mar 05, 2006 04:18pm | #12

      One nice thing. I still get the occasional email sayinng "I saw your advice on how to unstick a garbage disposal and it worked! Saved me a plumber's bill -- Thanks!"
      If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people

      happy?

    2. User avater
      Luka | Mar 05, 2006 07:32pm | #13

      Hey Mongo,Teach me how to paint my porch !!!I have to have it done by next thursday. I want you to teach me everything I have to know about painting the porch. Now.

      Geekbox hero who once visited the glass city.

      1. User avater
        Mongo | Mar 09, 2006 07:40am | #16

        Hah!You have a GOOD memory.Good to hear from you, Luka, I hope all is well.MongoAnd since you asked...you stick your finger in the can of paint and wipe it on the wall....then wipe the rest off on your pants. Then repeat.

        1. User avater
          Luka | Mar 09, 2006 08:01am | #17

          THAT'S what I was doing wrong !!I was using a brush.It's always good to hear from you too, Mongo !!=0)

          Geekbox hero who had a lot of fun in the glass city.

      2. Danno | Mar 09, 2006 02:33pm | #18

        No need to ask Mongo how to paint your porch--didn't you know that anyone can paint? Just grab a brush and start painting. A child could do it! ;-)

    3. andy_engel | Mar 05, 2006 08:00pm | #14

      Funny, isn't it, that people feel entitled to call you up after an article? I've had the same experience, and usually they're quite pleasant. But man, I'd never have the stones to Google the phone number of someone who wrote for, say, National Geographic, to ask for clarification of the construction of Mayan tombs. Andy

      "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig." Robert A. Heinlein

      "Get off your dead #### and on your dying feet." Mom

  6. cap | Mar 05, 2006 08:52pm | #15

    Yea, I've had a few people contact me directly with questions...

    A couple had truly arcane but interesting questions, and were very polite about asking.  I helped them out and enjoyed it.

    A couple had done their homework, but needed more guidance or info than I wanted to take the time to give them.  They paid me as a consutant, and it worked out well for both of us. 

    Others I took to be GCs or non-pros looking for info on how to do an electrical installation or fix a problem, who presented themselves as electricians.  One in particular was funny--"I'm wiring a house and how do you install a rebar-in-concrete ground, and BTW, what's a Ufer ground?"  Yea, right, you're an electrician.  I generally politely tell these folks to hire an electrician. 

    If I don't like their attitude, I suggest they go to a particular DIY site and ask the question.  I figure with the advice they get there, they'll wind up calling the fire department, and then an electrician.

    Haven't yet had a real a-h contact me; if I do I'll just slip into pidgin Lithuanian for the rest of the conversation...it works on telemarketers.

    Cliff



    Edited 3/5/2006 1:12 pm ET by CAP

  7. User avater
    BossHog | Mar 09, 2006 03:38pm | #19

    I started a thread about this very thing a while back:

    http://forums.taunton.com/tp-breaktime/messages?msg=69426.1

    In that thread, I said there are 2 reasons for posting the question on BT instead of asking by email:

    1. I don't know everything. Others here might come up with something I've missed or don't know about an area.

    2. Others on the forum can learn from the exchange of information.

    When I reply to people and ask them to post their question on the forum, I'd say 90% of them never do. I have no idea why.

    .

    I once made the mistake of answering a private email about a truss question. Then the guy asked me if he could fax some drawings over.

    Then I faxed something back to him, and made the mistake of putting the company cover sheet on it. So then he had my phone number and started calling me.

    He thought he was being screwed over by a truss company. And he probably was, as he sure came across as a pain in the neck.

    If there is no wind, row. [Latin Proverb]
  8. paul42 | Mar 09, 2006 06:07pm | #20

    I occasionally get a few like that from a photography forum.  My photography is specialized enough (candid photography at renaissance festivals) that I don't mind answering the questions off forum.

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