Replies

1. 
   joeh | Nov 19, 2003 11:41pm | #1

   They're a lot like those web site "Mission Statement" .........blah blah blah.

   Bottom line mission statement is to separate you from your money, as much as possible & as often as possible.

   Joe H

1. 
   davidmeiland | Nov 20, 2003 01:43am | #2

   Personally I like 'em. Here's one for laborers with a hammer:

   http://www.despair.com/demotivators/incompetence.html

2. 
   CloudHidden | Nov 20, 2003 05:34am | #4

   Joe, did you read these? For people who saw too much of that nonsense (I did in my Fortune 150 lifetime) they're a great parody!

1. 
   brownbagg | Nov 20, 2003 06:06am | #5

   we got the one at the shop about "just fire all the unhappy people"

   The best employee you can have but you wouldn't want him as a neighbor " He the shifty type"

2. 
   joeh | Nov 20, 2003 07:57am | #6

   I've seen these before, there's a store nearby that had them at Christmas time a few years ago. They also have a complete line of Uplifting Messages for those who think they're a suitable gift.

   What I meant was those attitude posters remind me of the Mission Statement BS. All the BS really does translate to "We want your money" - why else are they in business?

   Joe H

1. 
   CloudHidden | Nov 20, 2003 03:44pm | #7

   I think the Vision Statements are even worse than the Mission Statements....or is it the other way around. Amazing how much time senior people have spent in god-awful tedious meetings coming up with the most incredibly generic mission and vision statements. "We are committed to cherishing the values of our human resources as we strive to provide our customer-partners with......."

1. 
   BobKovacs | Nov 20, 2003 07:27pm | #8

   "We are committed to cherishing the values of our human resources as we strive to provide our customer-partners with......." the highest quality products, while working to acheive moral integrity, global environmental awareness, and equal opportunity for all races, genders, sexes, religions, etc., and using only biodegradable soap in the waterless-urinal equipped restrooms of our eco-friendly facility where we provide an employee friendly environment for all.

   Nice, huh?  lol

2. 
   caseyr | Nov 20, 2003 07:37pm | #9

   If you need some help on this, there are a number of automated mission statement generators on the Internet.  A couple are:

   http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/career/bin/ms2.cgi

   http://www.giantflounderpenis.com/mission.html

   http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_feb2001/ManualMSG.htm

3. 
   GoldenWreckedAngle | Nov 20, 2003 10:40pm | #10

   Those are really funny! Sort of like a monkey finger painting "fine art" and no one is the wiser.Kevin Halliburton

   "I believe that architecture is a pragmatic art. To become art it must be built on a foundation of necessity."  - I.M. Pei -

4. 
   hasbeen | Nov 21, 2003 04:24am | #13

   Thanks for the links!  My sons are having a great time with giant flounder #### right now!Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one.

5. 
   JerraldHayes | Nov 21, 2003 12:23am | #11

   There's Dreamweaver extension that I use when developing websites to fill the pages with text so that we can at least see how it looks until our clients gice us the real text or we write it for them that gives me text like this to plug in...

   through a top-down, proactive approach we can remain customer focused and goal-directed, innovate and be an inside-out organization which facilitates sticky web-readiness transforming turnkey eyeballs to brand 24/365 paradigms with benchmark turnkey channels implementing viral e-services and dot-com action-items while we take that action item off-line and raise a red flag and remember touch base as you think about the red tape outside of the box and seize B2B e-tailers and re-envisioneer innovative partnerships that evolve dot-com initiatives delivering synergistic earballs to incentivize B2B2C deliverables that leverage magnetic solutions to synergize clicks-and-mortar earballs while facilitating one-to-one action-items with revolutionary relationships that deliver viral markets and grow e-business supply-chains that expedite seamless relationships and transform back-end relationships with

   Great posters! Thanks for the link I will have to order some of them.

   View Image

   ParadigmProjects.com | Paradigm-360.com | Mac4Construction.com

6. 
   hasbeen | Nov 21, 2003 04:20am | #12

   I hope you've read some Scott Adams (besides the strip).

   One of my fav's:   DON'T STEP IN THE LEADERSHIP!Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one.

7. 
   CloudHidden | Nov 21, 2003 04:36am | #14

   Only read one of his books, but not that one. I'm now distant enough from that horrid scene and hopefully will never have to experience it again. Working one-on-one with the client and with the builder is sooooo much more fun.

2. 
   darcey | Nov 20, 2003 03:27am | #3

   Hi Bob,

   Our Superintendent had a big poster with skull and crossbones that said,

   THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES!

   (yeah, and it worked wonders!)

   darcy