Its not that I mind paying for lunch at all.. its just that I wonder who would actually be the one who traditionally should be buying lunch.
after weeks of estimating they have given us the job.. they wish to meet with me and the Archi for lunch… (its about $300K job)..
so who buys?
Replies
The architect, he is making the most per hour.
You pay for the table dance.
The owner is going to get nicked for change orders later, pad your expenses into that.
A great place for Information, Comraderie, and a sucker punch.
Remodeling Contractor just outside the Glass City.
http://www.quittintime.com/
1. The person doing the inviting.
2. Ultimately it comes out of the owners pocket.
3. Being fair creates a sense of mutual trust. Multiple lunches should be shared or alternated.
Always buy lunch, unless someone else insists or beats you to it.
_______________________________________________________________
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
it would depend on a lot of things..
the relative financial standing of the 3 parties would be one
EG: a wealthy client .. then i would defer to them
no one reaching for the check ?... i'd pick it up
an ongoing relationship with the architect..? whose turn is it ?
Mike Smith Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore
My personal preference would be everyone pay for their own.This seems to work with a few people but not at a table with 5-6 people at a business type meeting or even a group of friends. The simple and easy way is one ticket - what we do is each person throws some money into a pile in the middle of the table and one person scoops it up and then pays with plastic.Another thing to consider is receipts and business expenses for tax purposes.I've had jobs in the past where I would get reimbursed by my employer and now that I'm thinking about it each person would pay their own & get a receipt.^^^^^^
S N A F U (Situation Normal: All Fouled Up)
>>> Always buy lunch, unless someone else insists or beats you to it.
You beat me to it, has the most class, which in the long term I have found to be a worthwhile reputation to have.
Thanks. If you ever get to Colorado, lunch is on me. :-)_______________________________________________________________
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Thanks man. I've been to Colorado a few times, always visiting a friend who lived there. Some good memories.
Large # of tall mountains, something like over 40 out of ~50 of the States highest peaks. lotsa hiking. Cross-country skiing at night under a full moon.
Favorite was the chance of staying a few days in an old miners log cabin, outside of Breckenridge. Dead of winter, miles from the nearest road. Over 2 ft of snow on the roof, no electricity, heated the place with 2 stoves. Eating, drinking, snow shoeing and enjoying friends company...
Did I say I have good memories?
Always buy lunch, unless someone else insists or beats you to it.
What Heck said.
Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy, diggy, diggy
shake the boogie said up jump the boogie.
I'm in that club too. After all.... it's a tax write-off and you get to look smooth as a bonus. Well.... smoother anyway. :)View Image
. . how do I reply to all? well thanks. For the record. We had lunch..
the client reached across the
table and dramatically snapped up the bill..
Archi and I both surrendered with hands in
the air and smiles all around. thanks again
interesting to see the various opinions..Arthurhttp://www.thesmallbuildingcompany.com
If it were me I'd put it on the company card as a thank you for the business, if the Architect brought you the job it's a minor thank you to him as well, if you brought him the job you can start to develop a better working relationship with him.
If the customer inisisted on paying as a thank you for all your hard work I might argue the point once or twice then let it go.
Some people might be insulted if you didn't let them buy if they offered.
I can see a situation where all three of you reaching for the same check ;)
What I've done in the past when taking friends or family out, and I wanted to pay, which doesn't happen often ;), is to excuse myself to use the restroom & find the waiter mid-way through the meal and hand him my card then. That way when the check comes there is no discussion if I really want to buy and I know who ever I'm with is going to try to argue about it.
This past summer a new restaurant opened and I offered to take three of my friends to the restaurant and it would be my treat.Several other friends got asked and I walked into the restaurant and I thought to myself "let see six people times $8.00 is $48". I can handle that.We noticed the restaurant was full and the hostess said "would you folks like to wait in the bar"?One of my friends said sure and would you put our drinks on his tab? and pointed to me.I said "thanks" and yes put it on my tab.My bill at the end of the evening was about $175 and everyone got a big laugh at my expense.^^^^^^
S N A F U (Situation Normal: All Fouled Up)
I had a great time discussing this question with my family tonight. We all came to the same conclusion. The homeowner, who issued the invitation, should pay. Though the others could offer to pay their share, the homeowner is cementing his relationship with the others by taking them out to lunch. By picking up the tab he is establishing himself as the boss, the one who is paying the bills and calling the tune. That is in fact the reality of the situation and this lunch symbolizes that.
He will appreciate your generosity a whole lot more when you show flexibility in the course of your work, going the extra mile to give satisfaction even if it is sometimes at your own expense.
great reply... and insight...
I think every situation is different... I always try to pay just so folks don't refer to me as that cheap jew Bas%^$.... not that me buy'n lunch has stopped em...
When i use to travel alot and was being paid by folks with much deeper pockets than me I knew not only could i not afford the Jet we rode in... I couldn't pay for the fuel it burned.... but I always tried to pick up the meal checks.... it not only wasn't required or expected... it came out of my pocket where if they paid it was on an expense account... But It always felt right....
turning the tables I'm sometimes in a position where i have helped someone to a point where there is no way they could pay me... but them buy'n my meal makes them feel good... and I accept that in the spirit in which it is offered...
worse than people fighting over who pays is the situations where people try to divide up what each person owes... and there are always the ones who keep score on who had what and what costs more... in these situations I'd rather pay the whole check than be subject to the math
p
"in these situations I'd rather pay the whole check than be subject to the math"
Many years ago I was out for drinks with my friends. One of them ordered another round. I discreetly took the waiter aside and told him not to bring me a drink. I didn't have money for another drink and didn't want to look poor and schmucky. The jerk brought me another drink, which I did not touch. But I still didn't have the money for it. I ended up looking poor and schmucky. I never went back to that bar again.
I try and get my rich buddy to take a break and get lunch together.I always pay for this lunch because I know every time he goes out to eat his other friends expect him to catch the tab.
I figure it has to make him feel good to be on the receiving end every now and then and he has been a big help on sending small jobs he doesn't want my way.
ANDYSZ2WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT BEING A SOLE PROPRIETOR IS A REAL JOB?
REMODELER/PUNCHOUT SPECIALIST
If I pay the tab for a group meal and someone offers to help, I usually say "I got it. You get the next one." Or something to that effect.
That approach would leave the door open for more shared meals, which you're gonna need to smooth over bumps in the road on a 300K remodel.
I dont think it matters .
I usually try to pay for it . Its a slick move . If someone else wants to be slick than so be it and always deserves a thank you. Normally it just happens anyway and most of the time its not me which means there is plenty of willing parties.
I think the waiter or waitress really chooses most of the time whose gonna pay. When they lay it beside my napkin , Ive pretty well had it . <G> I have reached across the table to get a check but its not really slick. Theres no way to do it that is slick. Theres a lot to being slick because the check is always a small payment on the event.
When its at my place , I always pay. The host should always pay to be a good host. It might be truck stop food , but I will pick up the check.
When the Colts /Pats play , Ill let Mike pay this time . <G> But it wont bother me to pay , its just the losing .
Tim
so, $50... no pointsMike Smith Rhode Island : Design / Build / Repair / Restore
so, $50... no points
Thats what I was thinkin.
If someone beats me to the check... I always get the tip.... and I'm impressed when someone does the same.... not required but nice when it happens....
I eat dinner with the same group of friends i went to HS with... it's never an issue... sometimes it's split when there are others that join us that we know are TIGHT.... someone always gets the bar tab... and if it's around somones birthday they never pay... don't know that anyone keeps score....
I always try to keep money i haven't spent yet for such events
p
Personally, I'd redirect the trip to my house and make lunch.
I have dreamt of an open world, borderless and wide... where the people move from place to place, and nobody's taking sides.. http://www.yusufislam.com
http://WWW.CLIFFORDRENOVATIONS.COM
Hello Ovolo,
Why go to lunch? Have a working lunch in your office. Much cheaper and probably more productive.
Or tell them you are too busy, but can meet for some coffee and danish.
It is always embarrassing when the check comes and everyone does the fake reach.
Good Luck,
JW