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So im performing a little honny do for wifey (see:”question for you flooring guys” in constr. techs)and i mentioned to the wife that she has to keep the kids off the area cuz its gonna take 3 coats of the eurethane and 24 hrs drying time in between coats. plus 3 days to walk on the area. So wifey ask me “why 3 coats?” I tried to explain to her about drying /hardening time and got dumb looks, so how do you guys handle that type of situation.
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Well Ron,
After I answer one of those questions and she still doesn't get it, I'll go get her a book on the subject, hand it to her, and go back to work. After having done this a few times, she no longer asks.
'Course now I get, "Why don't you do it
i this
way?"
b ;)
Dano
*Tell her:"It's an art - I really can't explain it"
*Mars and Venus, Mars and Venus....Your poor, long sufferin' wife just wants to know why three coats are needed, and you launch into drying and hardening times? Couldn't you just have told her that it protects the wood from dirt tracked in by the kids so the wood looks better longer?
*Cami:"Your poor, long sufferin' wife just wants to know why three coats are needed"You've obviously never been married to a woman. (I'm assuming from your tag line you're a guy.) When a wife asks "Why do you ..." it's the opening shot in anything from a skirmish to a major offensive.It is not an actual question.One's initial answer should be a probe to determine what her battle plan and intentions are. Something subtle, such as "What difference does it make to you?"Then, depending on the response, you can determine whether your surrender will include sleeping on the couch for a week or so or if you should clear the tools and lumber off of the cot in the shop.
*Bob, maybe it's time to change my tag line...sometimes us women DO just want to know "why", and sometimes I suspect you men just go into a boring technical description in hopes we'll just shake our heads and go back to cooking your dinner... ;)
*for once I (gulllpppp) agree with Bob, the "why" is the forerunner to a full on premeditated frontal assault no prisoners are to be taken in this assault and no quarter given.
*Guess you're right, Bob, Cami's never been married to a woman. Can't slip anything by you.But there's a subtlety in Cami's comment that we can all learn from (and that explains why Bob is born-again-single and Ron's always complaining--we're supposed to listen to advice on relationships from these guys??????? [it's all meant as a joke guys]). It's like this. First ya gotta figure out if the question is one that is meant more as a statement or one of the rare ones that actually expect an answer. Note that it was a positive question--"Why 3 coats?"--and not a negative question--"Why can't you do it in 2 coats?" The absence or presence of the can't/don't/won't makes all the difference. The negative questions are really suggestions in disguise, so just nod. This question expected an honest response, and coming back with another question would only demonstrate how feeble men are. What Cami hit on is that, assuming you recognize the need to answer, the better answer is not the one a man would require, which unfortunately is what Ron gave. Maybe it seems condescending to give an answer that assumes the woman will do all the cleaning, but the truth is that SHE assumes she'll have to do it be/c Ron will never pick up a mop, so the proper answer is to tell her how 3 coats will make her life easier. Well done, Cami.
*IMHO it's your answers that are causing these battles. If "that's what the instructions say gives the best result", "it needs enough time to dry down to the base so that it doesn't scuff", and "I don't really know how to do this any differently" don't suffice, then it's time to ask what information is missing.
*Guys, guys, guys - Ron is missing an opportunity to be a big hero here. Legendary, even.The correct response would be:"I know it's going to be hard to keep everyone off of the floor, so I booked a room at the Sheraton for you and the kids for Friday night. Take it easy - get room service if you like - and I'll stay here and take care of this."I predict Saturday night would be well worth it. Plus, the floor would get finished.
*Bless you, Lisa. Another added benefit would be the peace and quiet on Friday night!
*Lisa- What a great solution! Ron- can't you just ship the wife and kiddies away for the three days? (protecting them from that smell could be the reason...)Then you could finish the floor and find -something- to do while you're enduring all that drying time....
*"Bob is born-again-single and Ron's always complaining--we're supposed to listen to advice on relationships from these guys???????"ROFLOL! (And I really needed that laugh today!)Of course, if you're in training for combat, who are you going to listen to? The bloodied veteran or someone who read about it in a book and lives in his mom's garage?
*Cami"sometimes I suspect you men just go into a boring technical description in hopes we'll just shake our heads and go back to cooking your dinner... ;)"Well, getting dinner cooked up isn't a bad idea, but actually, our "long boring technical descriptions" are actually the expression of our inner-most feelings that the ladies are always complaining we don't express.Can we help it if our feelings revolve around the polymerization of long alkoyd chemical strands and not something critically important like shoes? Of course, philosophical discussions of beer and where to put it can be a common ground in an otherwise often contentious arena!
*Phill,If I tried to get by with "that's what the instructions say" I'd be immediately and convincingly counterpunched with "when the heck did you ever read the instructions, guy?"
*I respond to questions like that from my wife by saying something like, "Do you think I'd get to be a senior editor at FHB without knowing how to finish a floor?" That would leave her laid out on the floor laughing long enough for me to make my escape.Andy
*Ok, Bob, if you're through ducking and running, I'll buy the next round and we can all drink to marriage...either that we are married or have managed to escape from a bad one- whichever you prefer!
*Make mine a Ballentine Ale! (Ah, OK, make it a Heinekin.)
*Doen't matter if it was positive or negative: As you noted "First ya gotta figure out if the question is one that is meant more as a statement or i one of the rare ones that actually expect an answer"[Emphasis added]Did Ron say it was his birthday? That the Pope was coming to town? That a hard frost occured in Hades? So the "one of the rare ones (I can wiggle out of this, fellow)" exception doesn't apply "coming back with another question would only demonstrate how feeble men are."Of course, if we don't come back with another question we've proven how insensitive we are!(Can you tell its been a hard 15 years?)
*Ah, grasshopper, enlightenment will come when you realize that there is no right response except to say, "I'm sorry, dear, for the sins of myself and my brothers."As for Lisa's suggestion, a weeeeee bit self-serving, no? We all know it would just raise expectations to intolerable levels. Consider...Ron: I'm gonna change that lightbulb now, honeyRon's long-suffering wife: OK, I'll book the suite at the Hyatt. See ya in a week.Ha ha ha. You shoulda come here for help 15 years ago, Bob!!!!!
*It's simple. The answer is "do you want to do it?" That's why.SHG
*i It's simple. The answer is "do you want to do it?" That's whySigh. Around here, I HAVE to do it all. If I get asked why are you doing that, the answer is, so it will get done.
*Do what I do Ron. You pick up the bucket throw it across the room and scream. BECAUSE I FREAKING SAID SO! AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I TELL YOU THEN YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF! Works every time buddy.
*What can I say, Cloud? My husband does stuff like that every now and then, spoiling me rotten. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary, and he still tickles my fancy, so there must be something to it. I'm telling ya, Ron, the investment will be well worth it. :-)
*"You shoulda come here for help 15 years ago, Bob!!!!!"Well, if I'd stopped to think a bit when I learned her mother's name is Rosemary. But, no, I had to go marry her baby ....
*Didn't say I'd follow my own advice, Lisa. Just trying to see how much trouble we can get Ron into. Actually, when I sand and finish the main floor in a little while, I face the same decision. Probably send them to Atlanta to see Meili's godfather. But nowhere toooooooo fun. After all, I'll be sniffing resins all day. Bleech.
*Cami,Oh, Now wait a minute.... that's just not right.....Any wife of mine better finish making dinner BEFORE she comes over to ask stupid questions.Pete
*Pete- Ummm....Ahhhhh...How many wives do you have go through before you find one that'll ignore the phrase "any wife of mine"?(Whew, thought I was rendered speechless for a second...first time for everything.)
*Cami,I only wrote that here because I know she'll never read it!..... I'll catch you later....i've got to do the dishes before she gets home.LOL!Pete
*Ron, I think the answer is because she is going to have a helluva time cleaning it/keeping it looking wonderful if there are fewer than three. Trust me. Two is not enough--or wasn't when my floor was done; plus, it was walked on too soon. This is a big job now, to avoid many big jobs later on. Cure time may also be affected by the weather.
*ron... 4 coats is what you really want....3 is the minimum....now go back and explain that 4 coats . properly cured , will enhance her life and put a gleam in her eye..
*She can't ask quetions like that any more, and oh, do I miss it. And now I cook for her.But she's still a sweetheart and life is still pretty good.BJ The Gardeners Husband
*{{{Bless you, BJ, and your sweetheart, the gardener}}}
*You forgot to point at the flung bucket and it's contents and add: NOW CLEAN UP THAT MESS!!
*LOL, Mike I almost forgot that part. Thanks
*Lisa, I don't know about ron but when I want to tickle a fancy, I don't send the woman off the the hotel ALONE! I go too, by golly!Mike, the fourth coat belongs on a hanger, except on Friday nights.Ron,You have to speak her language. Like - the first coat is like the panty hose that shows your shapely legs, the second coat is like this little skirt that makes your tush look so cute, the third coat is like the pert little jacket you wear that makes you look so intelligent.......Got the idea?
*Gunner you and Mike forgot another important item after thrown bucket and the the clean up the mess next comes the little pat on the butt with hey wheres lunch woman
*And "be a good girl and fetch me a beer."
*in a nice frosty mug
*be quick about it woman
*How many men does it take to uncap a bottle of beer?None: she'd better have the cap off when she brings to me during the game (sorry, ladies. I used up all of my self-restraint staying out of the "how come they aren't bigger" thread )BTW, Did you hear they're going to start naming snow storms after men? You don't know how long they'll last; you don't know when they'll come; and you don't know how many inches you'll get.
*Hey, you know why women have such poor depth percerption???
*Sometimes self-restraint is overrated.Oh, and you never know how long the snow will stay around before it melts.
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So im performing a little honny do for wifey (see:"question for you flooring guys" in constr. techs)and i mentioned to the wife that she has to keep the kids off the area cuz its gonna take 3 coats of the eurethane and 24 hrs drying time in between coats. plus 3 days to walk on the area. So wifey ask me "why 3 coats?" I tried to explain to her about drying /hardening time and got dumb looks, so how do you guys handle that type of situation.